Opening Night
by JGH
Summary: Naomi's back in Tulsa, a few days after Sodapop and Sandy are married. Naomi competed with Ashley for Soda, but Ashley never had so many advantages. Naomi's fighting a losing battle... but it all comes down to Soda's eventual decision.
1. Crash and Burn

I've never felt more sick to my stomach then when I stepped off the bus and saw my parents waiting for me. My father took the heavy guitar from me, and had to help the poor driver get the amplifier off the bus. My mom hugged me, and told me how proud of me she was about my decision. I didn't believe her, though. Any idiot could tell that she didn't mean it.

I went right away to the address on the sheet of paper that had promised me a record deal, and a while later I was left with the promise that they'd call me back. It was really a dream come true. I was really desperate to get home, but my parents insisted on taking me out to get ice cream. I wasn't even seventeen yet, they said, so they could treat me like a was a little kid. Besides, it was July 1st, and the Tulsa weather was always a force to be reckoned with. I was happy for something cold.

I was in the door for a second, when something hit me at full force. Actually, it was several things all hitting me at once, and emitting high pitched squeals. I laughed along as I took in the sight of Ashley, Emilie, Hannah and Daphne. Ashley had gotten her hair cut, now it was only past her shoulders, Emilie had gotten hers dyed black from it's original sandy blonde. Daphne appeared to have grown about two inches... and Hannah looked the same.

"Nay, look at you! Look at your hair, it's so long! And you grew!"

I knew I hadn't grown, I'd measured myself. Half an inch, at the most.

After things calmed down a bit, I found it in myself to ask.

"So, Ash... what's happened... you know..."

She knew. And she knew I knew she knew.

"Some stuff... happened... a few days ago..."

"June 25th," Emilie said softly.

"Yeah, a few days... I don't think we should be the ones to tell you... but you can't find out for yourself, that'd be too... Lord, I don't know..."

"Nobody'... dead, are they?"

"No, no, no, everyone's... fine... well, they're all alive, anyhow."

Then it hit me.

"There's another girl, isn't there?"

Ashley's nod was so small I wasn't sure she had.

"I knew it. Is it... serious?"

"Sorta... but the circumstances... I don't know... this just isn't my place to tell you, you know?"

"Okay. Well... I want to know, right?"

"Right."

"And I'll be damned if I don't, right?"

"Right."

"So, I'm going to find out."

"No," Ashley stood up and blocked me off, "You can't-"

"I have to."

"I know... I'll come. And wait outside."

"Alright..."

I shouldn't have gone, I knew later that night, maybe I could have spared myself. But a part of me needed to go, andI did. I was outside the Curtis house not long later. I'd gotten really good at walking distances this past year.

I could almost feel my life changing when I saw who answered the door.And I was fully prepared to ask if the Curtises had moved, because they didn't have a sister.

This girl was sickeningly pretty. She had light blue eyes... the kind that look like they might be fake, because they're too blue. And her hair was blonde... like mine... except hers was straight, and flipped out perfectly at the ends. She was wearing a perfect fitting blue dress, that brought out her eyes more if anything.

"Hi," She said, her voice so soft it was almost inaudible, "Who are you here to see?"

"Oh, I'm a friend of the family's... I was away for a bit, and I just got back, so I thought I'd drop over and see everyone... uh... who are you?"

She laughed, and her smile was alarmingly white. Damn. Was this girl perfect?

"Oh, of course. Come in, it's so sunny today, I swear the lakes are all going to dry up!"

She was so pleasant. I had a feeling I was going to like her. Once we were inside, she had to rush away to tend to a fussing baby.

"Oh," I said softly, "She's sweet. How old is she?"

"Almost a month. I'm so lucky to have a quiet baby, some of them, you can't stop their fussing!"

"Is she yours?"

"Yep." She smiled prettily, and I had to grin back.

"Congratulations!" There was no way this girl had just had a baby. She was nearly asthin as me, and I wasonly smaller becauseI was shorter than her.

"Thank you! Oh, people are so sweet now. When I was first pregnant, I had to move... it's so hard, you know, being a pregnant teenager, not married, people really look down on you, you know?"

"That's terrible, I'm really sorry."

"It's hard, yeah, but I think part of the curtesy is from being married now. They consider it 'proper'."

"Some people are just really attached to the old ways. I'm so glad to see you're happily married, though..." To who? She hadn't answered when I asked who she was.

"Oh, I'm so daft today, I forgot to ask your name!"

"Oh, Naomi Sterling."

"Right, I think I've heard your name before," her eyes steeled abit, and I was uneasy, "From Ponyboy, or Sodapop. Probably Ponyboy, though."

"No," I said warily, "It was probably both. What's your name?"

"Sandy."

"Oh," I said, a lightbulb going on in my head, "Ponyboy called me in England, and he mentioned someone named Sandy was coming." Or it was the entire point of the call.

"Really? That's strange."

"Well, it wasn't a topic of conversation. I just remember things well."

"Alright," she seemed distant from me now. Had I offended her in any way? I couldn't tell.

"So, is anyone home?"

"What? Oh, no, not now..."

She didn't even get to finish her sentence, when Ponyboy came into the room, and did a double take when he saw me on the couch, talking to the girl I was unaware was his sister-in-law.

"_Naomi?"_

"Yeah, I got sick of LAPA, and a Tusla record agency wanted me to do a record, and so here I am!" I forced him into a hug. He seemed scared.

"So, Sandy, you've already met Naomi, our old friend, and Naomi, you've met Sandy-" He gulped, "Soda's wife, and Sandy, you've been giving me that look for long enough."

"What look?"

"Don't give me that."

I was surprised enough to raise an eyebrow at Ponyboy. I'd never heard him talk like that- least of all, to his sister in law.

Oh, I wasn't okay with that or anything, I was just numb and in denial.

But it was setting in, and I felt tears brimming the eyes that were surely yellow beyond all meaning now. Great.

I should have left then, but things never work out the way I want them. Luck would only have it that Sodapop should walk into the room. It seemed that my day was ruined. Or my life, however you want to look at it. What happened to the song I was singing not so many days ago?

_Oh what a beautiful morning,  
Oh what a beautiful day...  
I got a beautiful feeling  
Everything's going my way..._

No. Oh God no.

Soda's eyes widened, and mine narrowed.

His mouth dropped a little, and I clenched my jaw.

"Naomi..."

"Congratulations, Mr. Curtis, you forgot to send me a wedding invitation, I'm afraid," I smiled cynically, and then turned to Sandy with a real look of kindness on my face, "Thanks for your hospitality, dear, but I doubt we'll get along well in the future. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Pony, thanks for the phone call. I'm serious, thank you for calling me. God knows what would've happned if I didn't come home for another three years. I need to go now, my friends outside waiting."

"Naomi, you didn't answer my letter!"

Hm. I wasn't expecting him to gain his speech back and say that infront of his wife. But two can play the game.

"I never got your fucking letter! You could've answered mine, but it's obviously too late now!"

Wow, I thought, as I walked numbly home beside Ashley, who was trying in vain to console me, I really have gotten a bit bolder. And who knew that something with as sweet a reputation as love could give you such a dirty volcabulary?


	2. Speechless

**Yay, five reviews! That's pretty good, compared to how many reveiws Intermission got on the first chapter... zilch, if I remember correctly. I think that's what happens when one conspires to create a story shorter than a 'See Spot Run' book. **

**Know what's a creepy movie? The 1989 version of Phantom of the Opera. Gotta love Robert Englund, man. Freddy Krueger forever. Although, admittedly, during 'Freddy Vs. Jason' I was actually rooting for Jason. Wow, this is off topic. Maybe I'll just shut up and write.**

**BTW- This chapter alternates between Naomi and Sandy's POVs. And Darry's at college...because he deserves it, but mainly for the sake of my plot.

* * *

**

_Naomi_

I spent the rest of the afternoon in some sort of emotional turmoil.

I took it out on pillows, a lamp, my wall... nothing seemed to help. And now I have to look at a dented lampshade, and be reminded why I put it there.

The main thing on my mind was the question,_ "How could I have been so stupid?"_

I was gone for not five months, and he managed to get married! And he had a baby, too! My God, that means she was pregnant in... what, September? October? Before I even knew him! And then she left, and he moved on pretty damn fast.

Dear lord, was he one of those guys that pretended to be nice just to score with girls? He couldn't be. It wasn't possible. I mean, nothing at all really pointed to that. No, that was a stupid idea. I wasn't sure how I even thought of it. It was the trauma, and the heat of the moment, and I didn't mean it. I didn't believe that. It wasn't possible. It wasn't possible at all.

My God, it was so possible.

No it wasn't.

But it is.

But I know it's not.

But he could be.

He definately doesn't... and probably didn't... care for me. How much could he care for poor Sandy, to try and get with another girl, while she's worrying about how to raise her child alone! What kind of person was he? Glory, I was mad at him!

_My God, I hate him! _I fumed to myself, then, shaking my head, corrected myself.

_"My God, I love him!"_

_

* * *

_

**_Sandy_**

"What did you say to her?"

I looked up innocently, to see my darling brother in law staring at me accusingly.

"Honey, I didn't say anything to her. She just got mad-"

"Do you know who she is?"

"Yes, she's Naomi Sterling. One of your friends."

"One of _my _friends? She was one of Sodapop's friends, too. And he wanted her to be his girlfriend, but she kept saying no."

"Exactly. She missed her chance with him. Isn't it time for her to move on? Honey, you know I can't ecourage this kind of behavior, I'm supposed to be parental figure-"

"Some parental figure," he hissed, "you shouldn't even be a parent!"

"Pony, what's wrong? We used to get along so well, I don't understand-"

"You've ruined everything, can't you see? That baby-" He guestered at Marie, "I don't know _who_ her father is, but it's _not_ my brother. And I ain't blaming her, either," He kept his eyes level with me, "And Soda got a chance to be happy with Naomi, without having to worry about a baby when he's eighteen!"

"Honey, this wasn't our choice-"

"It wasn't Sodapop's choice, of course not! I don't think he wanted his girlfriend to _cheat_ on him!" He yelled, his eyes blazing with anger. I was getting fed up, too.

"You want him to come back and find us fighting again?" I asked, my voice rising, "I told you, we have to make this work! We have to make things _easier_ for him!"

"You what would make things easier forhim? If you'd let him be with the girl he _wants_ to, and leave us alone!"

Before I knew what happened, I'd hit him. Not slapped him, like so many people would judge me to do when they first saw me and took in my appearance, I actually punched him, square in the face. Hey, prior to parenthood, I was a greaser girl. I picked up some habits.

"Maybe _you'd_ leave _u__s_ alone, if you want him to be happy."

"I'd never leave my brother alone," He said, a bit breathlessly, a bruise forming on his cheek, "With some sleezy broad like you."

"You want me to hit you again?"

"Hit me again? You didn't do anything the first time."

"You're bruised."

"Am I? I guess I don't feel it. You're losing your touch. Maybe being pregnant with someone else's baby made you lose that greaser girl punch." He might have sensed I was about to try and prove him wrong, so he added, "And I don't think Soda would like to hear that you keep on hitting me."

"You wouldn't tell him."

"I'm going to."

"Do it, then," I said, trying not to sound scared, "See if I care. He won't believe you."

"He'll believe me before he'll believe you. I've never lied to him."

I closed my eyes. I should never have left Tulsa last September

* * *

**_Naomi_**

I'd run out of anger, and I was lying on my bed, wondering why tears never came. I was beyond, I guess. I'd have to confront him eventually... wouldn't that be fun... and I knew I'd lose my cool. Again.

_**I find I get lost for words around you, overwhelmed by your presence**_

The worst part about my outburst-"_I never got your fucking letter! You could have answered mine..."_ was that I was sure he'd written a letter. I was positive. And I knew it was my mom who stopped it.

**_I feel the same, I hear the words you won't say, echo through your eyes, nothing more for me to say_  
**  
And so, on my Mom's word, my entire relationship, which was already fragile enough, crashed. Silence had, unlike the old saying, weakened anything we had and ruined it...

**_Silence understand some things, what it meant to be, will be_**

Well damn.

_**Sometimes it's the words we don't say that get in the way, time will break down the walls that we've built between us**_

But I knew what I had to do. I had to force the confrontation that I had been dreading. I wasn't going to let more silence ruin any hope that hadn't already been ruined by Sandy and Marie. I was going to go and talk to him. Like I should have done today.

**_I won't ever be speechless_**


	3. Bipolar

**I'm gonna stick it to the man and reply to my reviews. **

**kaligirl05- **Sandy did ruin everything, didn't she? But she's so fun to write that I have to keep her :-)

**SodapopsGurl15- **Subtle, subtle... :-) See above reply. My my, people are enthuiastic about Sandy's demise!

**ZukoLuver- **I'll so join your cult! We can have t-shirts!

**SodaNDallysgrl410- **Here you go!

**Now, this chapter might upset some people, seeing as you all love Sandy so much.**

* * *

I don't know what I might have done if either Sodapop or Sandy answered the door. But as it stood, Ponyboy answered, and I was greatful.

"Hey, Pony, Sorry I didn't get to talk to you- Lord, what happened? Did you get in a fight?"

"What? No, Sandy punched me. I guess you could say we had words, and... "

"I get it. So... I guess I meant to ask... did Sodapop actually send me a letter?"

"Well, he... yeah. He did."

"Dammit!" I stomped my foot and squeezed my eyes closed, emitting a high pitched squealing noise as I suppressed my anger.

"I'm sorry about everything, Naomi. I would have let you know alot sooner, but I didn't know. I mean, with Darry gone tocollege and all, he's in charge, and I let him have his space, 'cause I know it's stressful. He didn't tell me for awhile... I know he only took her back because he'd given up on her."

"Pony, she was already pregnant. You know that."

Ponyboy shook his head grimly.

"Yeah, but it's not his baby."

"How do you know?"

"I just... know. I have this feeling."

"Do you think he'd ever take a paternity test?"

"No. He'd have to tell Sandy, and then she'd go through her spiel... '_There was never anyone else, do you think I'd lie to you? I promise, isn't that enough?' _and he'd never get out of it with his way."

"That's... the craps."

"What an interesting volcabulary."

I shrugged. "I've spent the last five months with some interesting people. Speaking of which, I got a record contract."

"No way! That's great, so you don't have to give up your career so much?"

"No, I get to write my own songs if I want to, and-"

I never got to finish, because the front door slammed. I nearly jumped onto Pony's lap for the fear that it might be Sodapop.

Which, as fate would have it, it was.

"Hi, Naomi..." he looked genuinely scared of me. I didn't blame him.

"Hey..."

"You two," Pony said, pointing at us, "Go outside and work out your damn differences. I don't want to hear you yelling."

Sodapop looked helplessly at his brother, and nodded his head towards the kitchen.

"Back door..." he muttered, and I followed, pausing only at the doorway to turn around and give Ponyboy the finger. He shrugged and waved enthusiastically.

As soon as the back door was closed, I spun on him.

"What the hell?"

"You could have replied!"

"My mail was cut off! You could have waited a few months, rather than get hitched to some pregnant chick!"

"That _chick_ was pregnant with _my_ daughter!"

"According to Pony, it's someone else's daughter!"

"They have some differences! She says it's mine, and I believe her!"

"Did you believe her when she said it _wasn't_? The first time?"

"How... how did you know?"

"Pony told me. Before I left."

"Why did he-"

"He didn't want you to get hurt again, but I guess that's not a problem!"

"How would you know I didn't hurt?"

"Because you couldn't wait for a few months!"

"I didn't know it was going to be a few months, I thought it would be three years, and even then you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me!"

"Well, you certainly got over any _hurt_ pretty fast!"

"It was the natural thing to do, you try thinking for five entire months someone you really cared about didn't want to be with you!"

"I just did!"

"Well, who's fault is that?"

"My mother's, but that doesn't mean that you had to get married right away!"

"She was mailing me, and I'd given up hope!"

"Hope on what?"

We were screaming at the top of our lungs now... any hope that Ponyboy had of not hearing us was pretty much extinguished.

"Hope that maybe you wanted me to wait for you! But I thought you didn't!"

"Why the hell would you think that?"

I hadn't noticed how close our faces had gotten, despite how loud we were. And somehow it didn't surprise me when Soda suddenly just full on kissed me... and I didn't object in the slightest. It was a complete 180 degree turn from where we were a second earlier.

But when we broke apart, reality hit me.

"God, you bastard, you're married!"

"God, I'm married!"

"You can't do that!"

"Why'd I do that?"

"Why'd _you_ do it? Why'd _I _do it?"

"I don't know, we were yelling andyou were right there and you looked really pretty-"

And then we were back in the embrace again.

Oh, God.

"We have to stop."

"It's wrong. You're married."

"Right."

"Just go in there, and act normal."

We turned towards the house, to see Ponyboy smirking out the window, shaking his head at us.

"Lord, he saw us."

"Naomi, look... you shouldn't come around here that much... I'm married now. I have a responsibility. It's what I have to do... I'm sorry."

I felt rage burning up in my stomach.

"A responsibility that isn't yours. And here's something else to think about, " I snapped, going in the door, "Your brother, who actually _is_ your blood, is your responsibility too, and is being punched by your darling wife. Or did he tell you something else? You know, by trying to protect Sandy from whatever the hell is waiting for her, you're really hurting everyone else. Including yourself."

My God, we had some sort of bipolar relationship.


	4. Think of Marie

**I'm starting to think I might have to build a bomb shelter for Sodapop and Sandy before this story is over :-P **

**Maybe I should clarify something... Sodapop's obligation is more to Marie than to Sandy. And don't worry, he wouldn't let Ponyboy be abused if he thought it was happening... trouble is, he doesn't believe it.**

**Another note... most of the songs that Naomi sings will be lyrics that I've made up, but the one in this chapter isn't. **

**This chapter will start to sort things out.**

**

* * *

**

If I had learned anything from my encounter that day, it was that Sodapop couldn't handle stress.

I had to manage to slide back into his life, and then once I was on the inside, I could get between him and Sandy, and pry them apart. It was perfect.

Good Lord, I was starting to act like Ashley.I was plotting.

And I knew the perfect way, too. I'd get in through Ponyboy.I wasn't using him, God no, but I knew he'd need someone, and I'd rather it be me than someone else. It had to be someone who would try and get Sodapop and Sandy apart, and anyone other than me would feel bad doing it. I was doing it for me, Ponyboy, and Sodapop. That' what I kept telling myself.

I drove my mom's car to their house... she was gone for a bit, and so I didn't ask. I figured she owed me. Right now, I was only trying to let Pony vent for a bit. This was a visit solely for his purpose.

"Hey, Pony, thank God you opened the door," I said, sighing, "I was just heading over to record my first track. Do you want to come and see how it works?"

"Sure," He said, smiling, "The witch is in the other room, so we have to be-"

"Quiet?" She asked, coming and leaning against the doorway.

"I'm leaving now." He said firmly, stepping outside.

"Wait, Pony, I don't think you can do that." She said, crossing her arms.

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Pony, as a parent figure in this house-"

"You're the last person I'd consider a parent."

"He's coming with me," I spoke up, "I'm not letting a sweet kid like him stay all day in a house with someone who hits him."

Her mouth gaped, and I pulled Pony outside.

"Thanks," he said, grinning, "She didn't see that coming. But don't get the wrong idea... she didn't even hurt me when she hit me, I provoked her, and I kept trying to get her mad afterwards."

"Pony, answer me honestly." I turned to him before turning on the car, "Would you be happier if Sandy and Sodapop weren't together?"

"Yes. Definately. She's using him, and Soda's not happy. He'd never say, but he really prefers you over Sandy.I know he does."

"We have to get a paternity test."

"I know. But... remember how you and I sort of worked together to keep Ashley away from Sodapop?"

His eyes lit up, and I knew we had an agreement.

* * *

The recording experience was really unique. And Pony seemed to love it. I told the workers ahead of time that I was bringing in someone who was having some problems at home, and I never thought that the bruise might add to the effect. They all really took to him, letting him press certain buttons.

"So, you just do your thing, Naomi, and we'll record it," joked Jim, the head hancho, "You have your song?"

"Yep. I wrote it in January, actually."

"Let's go to it, then."

I watched a tiny red light click on. I could only assume that it meant for me to sing.

_"I'm so scared that the way that I feel  
Is written all over my face  
When you walk into the room  
I wanna find a hiding place  
We used to laugh  
We used to hug  
The way that all friends do  
But now a smile and a touch of your hand  
Just makes me come unglued-"_

"Alright," Jim began, and continued to talk to his people about things they could do that I didn't understand at all. Really, the only thing I could concentrate on was Ponyboy's facial expression. He was smirking at me, one eyebrow slightly raised.

Maybe that's what I get for inviting him to come to a recording session, where most of the songs I'm planning on recording were written under the influence of frustration over his brother.

Just maybe.

"Okay, sing the next part, but the mics might need another go at the first three lines. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, alright? Or just when we can be arsed to do it. And three, two," He pointed at me, and the little light came on again.

"_Such a contradiction  
Do I lie or tell the truth  
Is it fact or fiction  
Oh the way I feel for you,"_

"And we'll do the first bit again."

Such went the next hour or more. My fingers were starting to feel hot and burning from playing the guitar, and I'd never sung that much in that long a time space.

"Okay, we'll finish up for today. It's the chorus next, right?"

"Yeah."

"Three, two-"

The light came on once again, and I sang despite how hoarse I was feeling.

_"It's so complicated, It's so frustrating  
I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away  
I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay  
Should I say it, Should I tell you how I feel?  
Oh I want you to know, But then I don't  
It's so complicated "_

"Pretty good. Promising girl, you are. We'll pick up from here next day. How does Tuesday sound?"

"Great. Let's go, Pony."

On the way home, it was silent, until Ponyboy commented, "Nice song."

"Oh, shut up-"

"I'm serious. You wrote that for Sodapop, didn't you?"

"I- yeah. Whenever things were really awkward because of Ashley, and... stuff."

"I get it. You know, he'd find it really hard to stay with Sandy if he heard that song."

"I know. But... I mean, it'sa marriage. Sure it's cheap love, if even, and it's only based on hope that's long since dead. But it's marriage, and I don't know if I want it on my mind that I broke one up. And with a child? Even if she's not Sodapop's daughter, I mean, it's not her fault. She shouldn't be denied a father _figure_just because her mother was a _cheating_ _whore_." I spat the last two words, and and turned off the car.

"I know, but... you'll regret everything,"

"Oh, man, Pony... I already do."

It was silent the rest of the ride, until we got to the house. Pony got out of the car, and sodid I. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What-"

"I need to talk to your brother. It's important."

He shrugged and called for Sodapop. He was downstairs in a matter of seconds, and still looked genuinely scared when he saw me.

I still couldn't blame him.

"I need to talk to you. _Now_."

He didn't argue. Once the door was closed, I began speaking before he could.

"Today I took Ponyboy to see how a record is made. I'm going to come every now and again to take him places, because he needs to get out of here."

"What? Why?"

"Your _bitch_ is hitting him." I snarled, then realized how offensive that was. Oh, well. Too late.

"Naomi, don't talk like that-"

"I don't know if you heard me right. That woman in there is _physically_ _harming_ your own flesh and blood."

"How do you know?"

"He told me. God, he's told me everything. He'd be happier if you two weren't married, he's not getting along with Sandy, and he's been making excuses for the bitch!"

"I'll talk to him, alright?"

"Is _talking_ going to take the swelling down?"

"Naomi, I know I have a responsibility to him, but I have a responsibility to Marie too, which won't be so easy if I'm not on speaking terms with her mother!"

"Emilie's parents are divorced, and they have joint custody. You don't have to be married to the goddamn woman!"

"Naomi, listen to me! If I left Sandy for you, she wouldn't have anything to do with me!"

I set my jaw for a second, and raised an eyebrow.

"I never said anything about me. This is about your little brother."

"I thought... I don't know..."

"Busted." I smirked, and he smiled, and there was a light moment for a second.

But only for a second.

"But you'll give everything up to stay in contact with that witch!"

"Naomi, Marie can't have parents who aren't on speaking terms! It doesn't work!"

"Oh, so it's better if you're married! Kids don't just want their parents on speaking terms, they want them onfucking terms as well!"

"Naomi!"

"I'm sorry, that just slipped out. I couldn't control that, I'm sorry..."

"Well, you have the right of free speech-"

"Oh, I know, it's just a fact I'd rather ignore. God, why can't we talk without having an arguement?"

"Because... I'm married to the wicked witch of the west?"

"That... that might have something to do with it."

"Probably. I don't know how things are going to play out. I mean, it doesn't matter who I choose... if I'd waited for you, if I'd married Sandy, if I'd married someone else, the fact would remain that in a way, I'd always love you and Sandy both."

"I guess... but Soda?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you wait?"

Maybe it was the topic, maybe it was the desperation of the question, but it hung in the air for a second.

"I would have waited. I wrote you a letter, asking if you wanted me to wait. And I would have. I said if you wrote back and wanted me to wait, I'd wait, but if you didn't want me to, not to write back. You never got the letter, and never wrote back. So I assumed you didn't want to me to wait, but I would have waited fifty years or more if you'd asked me to."

"My mother wanted me to pursue a dream she'd made for me," I remarked bitterly, almost to myself, "So she ruined everything else for me. Dammit, I almost hate my own mother..."

"It's too late now, I think," he said, frowning, "I have a daughter. I can't leave her."

"She can't be yours. I'm sorry, it's what I believe, and I believe she can't be yours."

"People will believe anything." He kissed my temple, and went inside.

I was frustrated, heart broken, angry, sad, happy, head over heels in love, confused, determined, hoarse, numb and tired. And I decided to do what I did anytime I had a problem.

I decided to call around my friends and complain.

* * *

"Sandy?"

Shelooked up fromher book at the sound ofher name.

"Yeah?"

"How did Ponyboy bruise his cheek?"

"He got in a fight. I saw him."

"Really? Because he says different. And so does Naomi."

"What do they say?"

"Please, Sandy, don't play dumb. Why did you hit him?"

"He was calling me thingsI wouldn't think you'd allow your _brother_ to call your _wife_."

"Well, my _wife_ did something I wouldn't allow to my _brother_."

"You believe him and that little _tramp_ over me?"

"Don't call her that."

"And what did she call me? Your _bitch_?"

"You were listening?"

"Don't I have the right to?"

"No," he said slowly, "No, you don't. _Never_ touch my brother again, do you hear me? _Never_. And don't call Naomi a tramp, at least she'd never lied to me."

"Hasn't she?"

"Maybe she has, but not the way you have."

That hung in the air, andshe pouted prettily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Can you forgive a poor little girl her mistake?"

"I don't... alright." He sighed, little to Sandy's knowledge, he was thinking of Marie, "Alright."

"I love you," She said, burying her face in the fabric of his shirt.

"I love you too." Sandy worried at the fact that he sounded quite monotonous.

"Are you coming to bed?"

"No, I think I'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"You've slept there since we got married."

"I guess it's a habit, then."

"Well, can I intrude on your habit?" She said seductively, smirking. Sodapop sighed.

"No, Sandy, I don't think so."

"When we were dating, you used to be pretty damn frisky!"

"Maybe it's because the last time we actually _did_ anything, you got pregnant!"

"My God, we're married! It's what married couples do!"

"I guess we're an exception, then."

"I spent my entire wedding night alone! And every night since then!"

"Shame."

"You bastard!"

He closed the door calmly on her flying shoe, and breathed deeply.

_Think of Marie.  
Think of Marie.  
Think of Marie.  
Think of Marie._

_Don't think about Sandy... don't think about Naomi..._

_Think of Marie..._

That was all that got him by.


	5. Still Mad As Hell

**W00t w00t! Seventeen reviews! That's seriously... crazy. I love it. This is actually my most successful story yet. **

**And I'm using the song 'Not Ready to Make Nice' by the Dixie Chicks. Because, ya know... it like... applies.**

**

* * *

**

_"I've been waitin' on you for a long, long time,  
Can't seem to get you offa my mind,  
So maybe I'll just let you stay-"_

"Naomi, could you wait until later?"

"Wait until later? What for?"

"To play that song. That's country, isn't it?"

"A little bit, yeah. Why?"

"Well, honey, I'm not particularily _fond_ of country-"

"If you hadn't drilled it into my head at a young age, I probably wouldn't have liked opera or classical. But hey, your career choice for me didn't work out, so it's my turn now." I snapped, turning my chair around so that I wasn't facing my mother, and began to play something else.

_"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,  
Now it seems as though they're here to stay,  
Oh, I believe in yesterday,  
Suddenly, I'm not half-"_

"Naomi, what is wrong with you lately? What is it? This music- this isn't music! It's hardly anything! You'll have nothing left if you keep this up."

"Mom," I said loudly, turning back to her, "This is how I vent. Opera just wasn't my thing. I didn't even study it- did you know that? At LAPA, I took Musical Theatre. I performed in a play, just like an opera, but the notes weren't high and I had _fun_. But you're so terrified of me having my own life that you cut off all contact with my friends! So, now, when I come back, everything's changed and all I have is my music. And now you're taking _that_ away from me too?"

"You'll still have your music... this _isn't_ music. That _song_ you were playing when I came in, that wasn't music!"

"Mom, it was music to me!"

"What kind of idea do you have? That was country, no doubt it's a vulgar song! You need to concentrate on your music, Naomi, not that mindless trash-"

"That _was_ my music, Mom, that was my song! I _wrote_ that song!"

There was a silence where I thought that, for once, my Mother was speechless.

"And what would be the source of these feelings?"

I hadn't expected that. I'd forgotten how close my Mom and Shirley were- Shirley, my old voice teacher who would always force me to 'feel' the song I was singing. Oh yeah, Mom was musically educated enough to know what I felt and didn't feel in my song. And she knew that I felt this.

"Just think about the words." I turned away again.

"Oh. So there's a boy?"

"Yeah. A boy that you cut off from me, and now he's married to a woman who has a little child that isn't his."

"I think he had that coming."

"It wouldn't have happened if I were here."

"What power would you have?"

"If I had've been here, he wouldn't have thought I didn't love him anymore."

"Anymore? You mean, you've known him... is it that greaser?"

I rolled my eyes.

"For God's sake, Mom, times are changing. You really have that old predjudice?"

"It's not that old. Oh, dear, Lord," She put her hand to her forehead, "You're turning into a hippie, aren't you?"

That, I had to laugh at.

"Mom, seriously. What the hell?"

"Naomi, don't you swear at me! You're growing your hair long, you're playing this strange music-"

"I think you'll find that this strange music is common with every other person my age, including my friends, and, oh yeah, _that_ _greaser_ too. _That_ _greaser_ who I happen to be in love with! And I'm growing my hair long because Grampy always wanted it that way since Grammy used to do it!"

"Naomi, I'm proud of you for doing that for your Grampy-"

"Don't say that," I said through gritted teeth, "You're not proud of me. My God, Mom, I'm your only child and you're actually _ashamed_ of me."

"Don't say that, dear, I'm not ashamed-"

"You forgot something, Mom."

"What?"

"In your prefect little act, you forgot to try and deny that you cut me off from my friends."

"I... Naomi, I don't believe I need to defend myself forwhy I did that."

"Good. Because if you lied, I wouldn't have believed you."

I got up, and pushed by her to go outside. I was really frustrated, and I sat in the grass for a few minutes. Where had everything gone wrong? This was so messed up. I was mad at my mom, but I still felt the burning pain of her not being proud of me. I was mad at my dad for not stepping in, and I felt bad for blaming him. Hell, I was mad at my friends for just standing there while Sodapop and Sandy got married. I hated Sandy for ruining everything, I hated Sodapop for hurting me, saying he would have chosen me, and then going inside to his wife, and most of all, I hated myself for being mad at all these people and still loving them all.

Well, except for Sandy.

But there was one thing that I could do.

* * *

_Forgive? Sounds good.  
Forget? I'm not sure I could.  
They say time heals everything...  
But I'm still waiting._

"Naomi... I wasn't expecting you..."

"When have you ever?"

"Yeah, you're right. Do you...want to come in?"

"I think... can we stay out here?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you want."

_I'm through with doubt,  
There's nothing left for me to figure out,  
I've paid a price, and I'll keep on paying,_

"Ponyboy told me about the fight you had with Sandy."

"He did? Glory, I'd hoped he wouldn't hear that... it's not nice for a kid..."

"That's the thing. He's not a kid, he's going to be fifteen soon. The thing is... you're not happy with Sandy, and it's affecting everyone. Can you admit that?"

"You don't have to worry about us, it's not your fault-"

"Listen to me. At this rate, Marie's better off with parents who don't talk than parents who fight all the time."

"But I can't just leave her."

"I know."

"I wish I could... maybe if it weren't for Marie..."

"What would you do, if you weren't with Sandy? If there was no Marie to worry about?"

"I'd..." He fell silent, looking at his feet, "I'd have waited for you... I would have wanted to marry you, probably."

"See... Marie's your life now. Marie can be your life _without_ Sandy. But... until you see that... I can't wait anymore. Lord," I laughed bitterly, "We keep talking about who would have waited for who... but I _can't_ wait, and I _can't_ hope, when you're letting a baby keep another woman in your life."

_I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down,  
I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time to go round and round and round,  
It's too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could,  
'Cause I'm mad as hell, Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should,_

"Naomi-"

"Listen, you have the easy part! You make the choice, and you get what you want! I have to sweat out the waiting! We both waited five months, and now you don't have to anymore, you can end it, but I don't know if you're going to."

"Listen, it doesn't have to be that way-"

_I know you said, 'Why can't you just get over it?'  
I turned my whole world around, and I kind of like it,_

"It does now. It's no one's fault... well, maybe it's everyone's fault. It's mine, it's yours, it's Sandy's, it's my Mom's... but now you can change it if you want... I don't know if you want to, but I'm not going to be back here anymore. I'll come and get Pony, but that's all."

_I made by bed, and I sleep like a baby, with no regrets and I don't mind saying,  
It's a sad sad story that a mother will teach her daughter  
that she ought to hate a perfect stranger,_

"How did it get this way?"

"I don't know... it's my Mom, it was her stupid interference... she didn't want anything from me but what she considered perfect music. That's one more thing in my life that's wrong. I don't have anyone anymore. Even my friends are distant. Goddammit, you hear girls always complaining about how their mom ruined their life, but it's literal this time! She doesn't want anything from me but the music that I don't want to make!"

_And how in the world can the words that I said send somebody so over the edge  
That they'd write me a letter saying that I better shut up and sing or my life will be over? _

"I'm sorry, Naomi, I don't know what to do..."

"Whatever you want. Just... don't let anyone affect your decision. I'm sorry to put this on you... put I have to. I'm still mad at you, you know that? Do what's right."

_I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down,  
__I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time to go round and round and round  
It's too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could  
Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should  
_  
"Naomi-" He stood up, maybe to stop me, but I held up my hand to silence him.

"It's out of my hands now." I walked away, willing myself not to go back.

_Forgive? Sounds good.  
Forget? I don't think I could.  
They say time heals everything...  
But I'm still waiting. _

_

* * *

_

**Ah ha. The tables have turned. I'm angry at my exams and I'm taking it out on the characters. **

**Man. I'm really getting through this story. **


	6. And Still Love The Other

**Would've updated sooner, but FFN was being screwy. **

**Ever had that feeling that you've rushed a story and then you get writer's block? Yeah. **

**Just on an off topic thing... if you ever get an opprotunity, listen toa song by 'The Arrogant Worms' because they're HILARIOUS.

* * *

**

I wish I could tell you that things cleared up. But if I did that, I'd be lying, which had become, to me, the worst thing someone could do, because it was really a lie that had made everything as bad as it was now.

The next few months went by slowly. You hear people saying that in the month's they've spent without their love they've been numb, and it just flew by. But I guess either that's another sickening lie, or I wasn't one of the lucky ones. Everything went by slow, and painfully.

I saw Sodapop and Sandy sometimes. I'd go to the park and play my acoustic guitar beneath a tree, not busking, just enjoying it. There were other people doing it, but I hardly associated with them for a little while. They freaked me out a little, at first, but they were real mellow people. They were flower children- hippies- and they were possibly the nicest people I'd ever met. They accepted me real easy, but I didn't always go with them, lest my mom drive by. I didn't really feel like getting kicked out of my own house right yet. But there was one girl - she told me her name was Star, and I really didn't know if it was or not - who had just barely started to consider herself a hippie, and she hadn't grown her hair out or anything yet, so I let my Mom see me with her.

But sometimes I'd be playing with my new 'friends' and Sodapop and Sandy would walk by with Marie. She was getting to be very pretty. Her hair was coming in puffy and blonde, and her eyes were clear and blue. She looked just like Sandy. On these trips, Soda would blatantly stare at me. I guess it was worrying him to see me hanging out with a bunch of people known for doing drugs. That _would _be pretty scary for someone, I can imagine the guilt if he thought I got into drugs...

Good.

I still picked up Ponyboy and took him to the studio with me, and I'd recorded seven songs already. I was only recording eight, and the guys promised that I could have the record out by March.

Anything of significance after that July afternoon where I confronted Sodapop and told him to make his choice didn't happen until September 5th. I entered grade twelve, and my teachers were talking to me about a career choice, and I realized how I didn't know what my career was going to be anymore, after I left LAPA. I had been pretty much guaranteed a future in operatic singing, because I had an obvious advantage over others in the category. I'm not showing off, I'm just telling it like it is. But I wasn't as sure about this new genre of music I was doing. It seemed like rock, but was almost country sometimes. So my teacher told me to think about it, and talk to her later.

Then, nothing happened again until September 20th. Sodapop called me and asked me to come to his house so he could speak to me and Sandy. I was shaking the entire way there. Upon arrival, I was bitter to see that Sandy looked as pretty as ever. She had her hair pulled into a perfect little ponytail, and donned a baby blue sundress.

My God, she looked like a barbie.

"Look, you two, I don't know how this happened-"

"I do."

"-But you both know how messed up everything is-"

"Really, I hadn't noticed."

"-and I have to make a choice. You can argue that I didmake it once, alright, I deserve that, but it wasn't fair the first time. I have to make it again, when I have my priorities sorted out-"

"God knows that doesn't happen very often."

"-Naomi, could you _please_..."

"Sorry. I'll stop now."

"_Thank_ you. You both need to understand... either way I choose, I'll still love the other, in a way. I'm probably always going to love you both, in a way. But it's different, andI have to choose one."

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Good."

"So... I'll just... leave now..."

* * *

Naturally, the first place I went was to the park with my guitar. I felt like playing, and decided to play the first song I'd ever written. 

"_I didn't cry when I could... do you hear me, do you think I should... because it doesn't feel right..."_

"That's pretty." I looked up to see Star join me, "Who's is it?"

"Mine. I wrote it last January, for my grandfather... he died a year before."

"Really? I don't think I've ever wrote anything like that. I've written plenty anti-war songs, and stuff... but I've never lost someone in my family, so I wouldn't know. I'm sorry about your grandfather."

"Star... tell me about your family. You never talk about them."

"Oh...well, my Mom's name is Tabitha. I look alot like her, except my eyes are greener. My dad's name is John, and he works on a farm south of Tulsa. He's only home a few times a week. I have a little sister, named Christine. She looks like me and my mom... she's seven. I miss her alot, but as long as I'm living like this, I'm not allowed to associate with them."

"So... you prefer this to your family?"

"It was a hard choice. But if I had to live a way that I didn't want, I'd be making my family suffer without meaning to. So... I left."

"My mom tried to force me to make a kind of music that I didn't want to, and the problems with Sodapop and Sandy are all because of it. I'd give _anything_ to have your family."

"Speaking of Sodapop and Sandy... how's everything going?"

"Soda just made the announcement that he's choosing."

"When?"

"After my birthday, I hope. It's on the 11th."

"October?"

"Yep."

"Cool... I'm going to leave, now... good luck, okay?"

"Alright."

I couldn't help but notice that she left a strange odour in the air... smelled like... marijuana. Yeah, that didn't surprise me.

* * *

"Naomi!"

"Upstairs."

"Naomi, get down here!"

"Still upstairs."

I could hear her footsteps coming angrily towards my room, butI figured that she couldn't be any angrier at me then she already was.

"Naomi Alexandra Sterling, that Star girl... do you know what I saw her doing today?"

"Uh... smoking grass?" I offered with a sweet smile.

"Exactly! Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

"Uh... no?"

She didn't answer. She just walked away.


	7. All For Pride

**Still suffering from writer's block. God only knows what might happen in this chapter as a result. **

**My only problem is that I feel I'm _really_ not doing much for Sodapop's character... must fix that... **

**Chapters _MIGHT_ be getting a tad bit shorter. I hope not, but... you never know...

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?"**

"I'm fine, Ash, I mean... yeah, it makes me mad, butI already have this bad feeling... I know he's going to choose Sandy. It doesn't matter why, even if he really wanted to be with me... they have the baby.He's not really choosingme or Sandy, he's choosing Marie. I can't say I blame him, it's the responsible thing to do. I guess... I guess you can only take so much without becoming numb, you know?"

"Yeah. But I wish you wouldn't be so cynical, Naomi. Havea little hope."

"This is the thing... I can't force hope on myself, and if I did... well, if he chooses before my birthday, and all the false hope is shattered, that's going to be one hell of a bad seventeenthbirthday."

"I guess... but you'll still have a hell of a bad birthday anyway."

"At least I won't have to cope with the disappointment. Just loss."

"Yeah... hey, I know I don't know her... but is that Sandy over there?"

I turned my head quickly, looking in the direction of the fountain where the little kids played when it was hot, and felt my stomach churn.

"Yeah, that's her." I picked up my guitar and grabbed Ashley's arm, "Let's get out of here, I don't want to talk to her..."

"Too late. She saw you."

I swore loudly.

"Sterling."

"I think so."

"I need to talk to you."

I sighed. "Why..."

"We haven't gotten a chance to talk yet."

"What's the point?" I asked tiredly, "It'll only end in us fighting." She shrugged.

"So be it."

I followed her to a corner... not too far from Ashley, and crossed my arms and regarded her tiredly as she spun on me.

"I don't know who you think you are, coming in here from London and assuming that you can barge into my life-"

I shrugged. "There's not a 'you snooze, you lose'."

"I was there first! You weren't there until... November!"

"So? Sandy, we're talking about a _person_ here. You can't place _dibs_ on someone's emotions. Regardless of who was here first, that won't make difference, because we're fighting _over a person_!"

"Not just a person! An entire life, and security, a home... a _life_!"

"Is _that_ what you're worried about? Sandy, tell me something. Would you be putting up all this if Soda lived on the streets, and a really rich guy wanted to marry you?"

She stared at her feet, biting her lip. I emitted a laugh of disbelief. "Oh my _gosh_-"

"It's not as though you wouldn't, too!"

"Honey, I had the chance at another guy, but I didn't take it! And he'll probably be pretty rich in the future, but do you know what? I'd rather live on the streets with someone I loved than in complete luxury with a guy who was _indifferent_ to me."

"I need the security for Marie! You don't understand! I'd _kill_ for her!"

"You practically have."

"I know! I need her to be safe, and I'm going to put it before all else!"

"Sandy, what about all those cards that are in your house? From your _parents_?"

She frowned.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"There are cards that say, 'Happy one-month birthday to our _granddaughter'._"

"What makes you so sure that it's my parents?"

"How the hell could Sodapop's parents send you a card?"

She went silent.

"My God, Sandy, what are you playing at?"

"I just don't wanna be another statistic! You know they say that more and more girls are getting pregnant each year without getting married! All that stuff I went through, I can't go through it anymore. I could go to my parents, and they'd love me to be home. They don't like Sodapop much, anyway. But then, what would I be? A free loading teenage mom!"

"Sweet mother of God, you're doing all this for _pride_?"

"It's not as bad as you make it sound."

"It's worse! You... you _bitch_! You're ruining everything, and it's not even for the sake of your child!"

"It is too! I can't have _her_ being made fun of, too!"

"Then find a man who you can be happy with, because God knows that you and Sodapop aren't!"

"How would you know anything about our marriage?"

"_Anyone_ who sees you two can tell you aren't happy."

"I'll suffer for my little girl." She said quietly, and sounded quite defeated.

"The more you suffer, the more she suffers. You're hurting _everyone_, Sandy, _everyone_."

She didn't reply, just walked past me and out of the park. I clenched my fists and seethed angrily for a moment. My God, I wasn't sure I could hate her much more.


	8. Anything For Love

**I have officially decided that this story shall have twenty chapters. And if it doesn't... well, that just goes to show how indecisive I am. **

**I'm going ona trip for a week or so, so alas- no updates till... next Thursday. How will I survive? I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.**

**Now, for the chapter... which is in Sandy's POV. Enjoy :-P I'm sorry it's short.**

**

* * *

**

"I talked to little Miss Priss." I said, throwing my purse in the chair beside Ponyboy. He looked up.

"_You're_ calling _her_ Miss Priss?"

"Oh, ha ha, you're funny."

"I try."

"Yeah, well, get this- she'd be willing to do anything for your brother. Isn't that sweet? Shame they'll never happen, I think they could be a really cute couple."

Pony closed his book, and looked at me suspicously.

"What's wrong with _you_?"

"Huh?"

"You're about to have a nervous breakdown."

"I am not. Just because she's trying to make me feel inferior because I got pregnant when I was sixteen doesn't mean I'm gonna just freak out like some immature teenager!"

"You _are_ an immature teenager."

"Hun, once you've raised a baby, you're pretty much mature."

"Not always."

"What?"

"You haven't raised a baby. She's not even four months yet!"

"I've gone through labour. That's more than _you_ can say."

"What about parents that abuse their kids? Do you consider that mature?"

"Well, if the kid did something to bring it on themself!"

"What if they didn't do anything?"

"Well, then, maybe the parents shouldn't have kids. If you can't take care of them, don't have them."

"So, you're telling me that Marie was _planned_?"

"No, of course not!"

"So why can't other parents have kids unexpectedly?"

"They... what are you trying to prove?"

"Well, for one,I'm just trying to prove you wrong, because it's the only way to put you in your place these days, and two, I'm also starting to realize that you aren't half as smart as Naomi."

"Smart? I'm the one with the husband, not her!"

"What are you saying?" He shot up out of his chair, "Do you have some strange plan going on that you're keeping Sodapop from Naomi?"When I was silent, he got the same facial expression that Naomi'd gotten when she'd found out, "Oh Lord. You don't even care about him, do you?"

"Well, of course I _care_ about him-"

"You're keeping him for your own selfish reasons!"

I pushed him backwards before I could stop myself,but he was back on his feet again.

"I'm not letting you do this to my brother!"

"Oh, well look at this! Superman, are we? Are you going to stop me from doing everything?"

"Stay away from him!" I could tell he wasn't thinking rationally.

"Listen to me!"

"No!"

"Listen!"

"I'm not _listening_ to you!"

I went to push him against the wall and force my explanations on him, but for once, he pushed back. It would have looked strange to anyone who came in, the two of us with our hands on each other's shoulders, each pushing the other backwards.

"Just listen to me, dammit!"

"Why won't you just go back to Florida?"

"This is just as much my house as it is yours!"

"No way." He stepped away suddenly, and I fell face first onto the couch, "You're not welcome here."

* * *

He was gone for the rest of the afternoon, and he came home later with Sodapop. I was scared of what he might have told him, but Soda just looked at me the way he always did. Not hate, or comtempt, but an unrequited sadness. Probably for the loss of the person that I used to be when he knew me. I wondered how he looked at Naomi when they were alone... they weren't, anymore, but when they used to be... I could remember seeing it once, and I was jealous. He looked at her as though she were the world. 

I'd laughed at how Naomi would do anything for Sodapop. Now I was starting to worry, because I was thinking that Sodapop might just do anything for Naomi.


	9. Adam and Chaos

**I'm home early! My sister hurt her knee and we had to leave. It sucks, but hey. I get to update now :-) **

**There are officially going to be more than twenty chapters here.

* * *

_"I'll have a blue Christmas without you... I'll be so blue just thinking about you..."_ **

I suppose it would be funny to someone else. At least, it was funny to Ashley and her new boyfriend Chris to see me lying on my back singing depressing Christmas songs. I'd finished my record, and the guys at the studio said it would be out in about a month. Until then, I had nothing to do but sing Christmas songs... Christmas was in two weeks. I had to have my college application forms in by the end of February, and I was pretty near going crazy with the stress on top of the fact that Sodapop had told me that he was worried about me because I was hanging out with hippies. He also chose to do it on one of the two days that separated his eighteenth birthday from my seventeenth.

Yeah, it was pretty stressful.

But Star was helpful. She was a little spacey, and she offered me way too many drugs for my own comfort, but she was nice. I liked her.

_"Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree... won'tbe the sameif you're not here with me..."_

"Naomi, listen. I love your singing, and that's a nice song, but... you've been singing it for an hour now. Could you-"

Ashley's plead for sanity was interupted by a knock on the door. As she got up, I began to play quietly.

_"And when those blue snowflakes start calling..."_

"You're kidding me!" Ashley's voice carried in from the next room, "Wow, that's actually unusual for this part of town... oh, come in, you're covered in snow-" She led into the room possibly the second best looking guy I'd ever seen.

What? I wasn't singing 'Blue Christmas' because I _hated_ Sodapop. Jeez.

"Hey," he said, "I'm... my car... I was across the street... I'm Adam." He looked like he was about to extend his hand, but didn't.

"Adam's car tires were slashed." Ashley offered helpfully. I smiled.

"Cut throat town, Tulsa is."

"Yeah... it's bad... the town... it's pretty, though..."

"Around here, it's pretty boring."

"I've seen some nice things. Hey... do you... you play?" He gestured to the guitar.

"Yeah."

"Care to play something?"

"Okay..." Being a complete stranger, I didn't want him to hear one of my compositions, so I stuck with the other songs I know.

"_Yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away... now it looks as though they're here to stay, oh, I believe in yesterday..." _

"Wow," he said, smiling charmingly, "You could release a record!"

"I am. In about a month."

His jaw dropped.

"No way. That's the coolest thing I've ever heard!"

I laughed. "You've only known me for a minute! You don't even know me!"

"Well... I guess it would make sense for me to ask your name."

"Naomi Sterling."

"Alright. So, Naomi Sterling, do you have a boyfriend?"

I laughed out loud at his forwardness.

"No, I don't."

"I guess that's a good thing."

* * *

That day would stay with me for a long time. The night I met Adam. I spent the better half of my Christmas break with him, and I learned that he was turning 18 in January, he went to college in Oklahoma City, loved Mexican food, Eric Clapton, and painting portraits. He must have done twenty of me in those three weeks. 

When the time came for him to go back to Oklahoma City, I'd expected a heavy hearted goodbye with someone I'd come to regard as a close friend. I hadn't expected what I got.

"Naomi," he said, tucking a loosecurl of blonde hair away from my face, "The past month has been... amazing."

I smiled.

"It hasn't even been a month."

"I know, but... I feel like I've know you forever. I'm coming home in May, and I'm staying all summer, and maybe then you'll even go to my university next year. The point is, I want you to have this." He pressed a tiny silver ring into my palm, "So you know I'm thinking about you."

"Adam... I'll think about you too, but you already know... there's another guy that I'll really be thinking about, and-"

"I know, I know... but you could forget about him and his tramp of a wife! Can you think about it?"

"I don't know..." But looking upon his hopeful face, I knew that I couldn't reduce him to the misery that I was feeling over Sodapop. In hindsight, it would have been easier for him to be cut off early, but maybe I just wasn't strong enough, "...Of course. I'll think about it. Thank you, Adam... you've been such a help. I needed the past three weeks. I feel alive again," I added, jokingly.

Adam smiled, and pressed his forehead to mine, his deep blue eyesstretching into mine, "Naomi... you're so amazing. How can you waste your time on him? He doesn't deserve you."

"Maybe I won't," I was trying to lighten the moment, and maybe I did. But what I really did was give him false hope. It was the same false hope that Sodapop had given Sandy, and I realized how it gave me some false hope as well.

Resting his hand on my cheek, he pressed his lips to mine. It evoked a sweet sensation in me, and I found myself giving in to his kiss. There were no butterflies in my stomach, dizzyness in my head, weak knees, shortness of breath, or racing heart like there was when I kissed Sodapop- butI was willing to hold on to this false sense of security as long as I could.

I didn't pay any mind to the fact that I was contributing so much to the problem which would have been solved so much easier had I not met Adam, because little to my knowledge, at that very moment, all hell was breaking loose at the Curtis house.

* * *

"You bastard!" 

Soda duckedashoe as it flew by his head, buthe stoodhis ground.

"I mean it, Sandy. I can't take it anymore. You have to leave."

"You're divorcing me!"

"I don't know yet! But all we do is fight, and it's going to hurt Marie!"

"She's a fucking baby! She doesn't know what's going on!"

"Listen to her! She's crying!"

"She's hungry!"

"Give her to me!"

"No! I'm her _mother_, for God's sakes, I know what she needs!"

"Well,I'm her _father_, and it's starting to look like you don't have a notion what what to do with her!"

"Oh, how would you even _know_ if you were her father?"

"I don't anymore! But I'm the only father she _has_!"

"A father that kicked her and her mother out of the house!"

"I didn't kick Marie out! I want Marie to stay!"

"You don't seriously think you'll get that, do you?"

"I don't think you'll leave her, no, but she'd be better off!"

"She's better off with someone who's _definately_ related to her!"

"Sandy, tell me the truth this time. _Am I Marie's real father_?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, that's good to know! Answer this, too- are you even being faithful to me?"

There was a heavy silence. Even though he was trying not to show it, it hurt Sodapop. He was angry at himself for not realizing it before. Sandy _had_ cheated before, what was to stop her from doing it again? He was angry that it still hurt. Her betrayal still hurt him, like it did the first time.

Sandy noticed too. They had no love, but he was bound to her through their marriage. And he had to just sit there while his wife cheated on him. It didn't matter who she was, she was still his wife... and she wasn't being faithful. But she couldn't let him know it.

"How could you accuse me of cheating? And get a goddamn paternity test, why don't you?"

"Maybe I will!"

"Right before you divorce me!"

"Maybe I'll do that too!"

"You wouldn't really."

"What makes you so sure?"

"If you care about your pretty little singer, you won't."

Sodapop felthis face drain of color.

"What are you going to do to her?"

"_I'm_ not doing anything."

"Who is?"

"Just think of this. You've hurt her alot. AndI know the female nature. She'll trust other girls and her friends before she'll trust a man that's hurt her. Too bad she doesn't know who her real friends are."

"I know almost all of her friends?"

"What about the hippies? And that handsome boy she was with? Adam Henderson? Do you trust them?"

"I don't know _them_."

"Well, then. Let's hope Naomi really does. Because if they trick her... she might be in big trouble." Sandy made a sarcasticsorry look and pressed her index finger to her mouth as if to indicate worry. Soda felt his blood boil.

"I'm not divorcing you. But get out right now," he hissed through gritted teeth, "And I will. Mark my word."


	10. Nothing Can Touch You

**For once I have nothing to say in my A/N except that I really enjoyed reading -Alle-Cade-'s review. I should make Sandy start talking like that :-P.**

**God Bless Steve's butter fingers, eh?**

**

* * *

**"Naomi." 

Sherecognized the voice right away, and squeezed hereyes closed. Damn. Sodapop. She felt a mixture of joy, anger, love, hate, happiness, and dread. Wow. This was complexed.

"Naomi, I have to talk to you."

"Yeah?"She tried to sound as nonchalant as she could, but it was hard.

"The people you're hanging out with... the ones in the park..."

"Listen, Soda, we've already had this conversation," she said tiredly, "I don't know why you're so concerned about them."

"Who's the guy with theblack hair? That one you spent all Christmas with?"

"Who's that girl with the blonde hair that you've spent the last year with?"

"My wife who tricked me into marrying her."

"Well. I guess yours is worse than mine."She smiled sweetly.

"Look, about the ones in the park- I know they're probably nice, but you don't know if you can trust them-"

Sheshookher head. "You bloody hyporcrite."

"What?"

"I don't know if _you've_ already forgotten, but I remember your stories about when the Socs would come into the East side to beat you guys up. Do you remember why?"

"Because we were greasers, Naomi, and that's all-"

"Using the word _'were'_ lightly. Did you know that Ponyboy got punched in the stomach at school the other day by some rich kids? Times are changing, true, but they aren't quite done yet. They _stereotyped_ you, and _judged_ you, and now you're doing the same thing to the hippies."

"Naomi, can you seriously tell me that none of them that you know have done drugs?"

"You know what? I can't. I think they've all tried it. So what? Two-Bit's a bloody drunk, but he's one of the greatest guys I know."

"You know what drugs do to their minds, Naomi, they could hurt you, and they wouldn't mean it, but they'd still do it. They might not be in control of their actions."

"Oh, this is rich. _You're_ worried about _me_ getting _hurt_?"

"Listen, just be careful-"

"I'm careful. I'm _damn_ careful. Do you know what I wonder? Why people get into relationships, when they know it's just going to hurt them. Why do people fall in love when it's just going to break them? I'm being careful, Sodapop, I'm careful not to let myself _care_ about anyone anymore."

He looked shocked. "What do you mean?"

Sheshrugged.

"Everyone who loves gets hurt. It doesn't do any good. So... I'm through with it. I'm through with caring. I don't know... I'm just... hardening myself, or something. So nothing can touch me. I'm though with being hurt."

Sodapop felt a sickening lurch of farmilarity.

_"He was talking and talking in the car. I don't remember a whole lot of it,I was real dizzy. But he said he was crazy for trying to keep Johnny out of trouble. He said you should look out for yourself, and nothing can touch you. He said, 'You'd better wise up, Pony... you get tough like me and you don't get hurt.' But it didn't help him, Soda, he still broke like everyone else..."_

"No," he said, "Don't, Naomi, it doesn't work, it won't help-"

"Just... don't worry yourself about me anymore, okay? I can take care of myself."

Sodapop stood there for a little while afterwards, thinking of the last person he knew who tried to harden himself beyond caring. He couldn't let Naomi become like that. Poor, sweet Naomi who was hurting because he'd been stupid. He couldn't blame her, she just wanted the pain to end. He knew how she felt, he was feeling the same pain. He loved her almost beyond comprehension, and he was staying away from her lest Sandy hurt her in whatever way she was planning. If he didn't leave her alone, she'd be hurt in some way he didn't know right now. If he let her go, she'd go down the same path as Dally Winston.

He couldn't let her do that. He remembered Ponyboy on that night more than a year ago.

_"Dallas is gone. He ran out like the devil was after him. He's gonna blow up. He couldn't take it." _

So he had to makehis choice. And he had to make it fast.

* * *

On her way home, Naomi walked by a supermarket. By chance, a bright orange add on the window caught her eye.

_Local Talent Wanted_

_Talent Scouts Jamie Woddrume and Christofe Maeves are judging a talent  
competition. First and second runner up awarded $100 each, winner moves  
on to national competition. _

_Tulsa Auditorium February 12_

Naomi smiled ironically. Funny, this should be on the one year anniversary of the competition that had earnedhera spot in LAPA. Both would be life altering if won, and she was positive she could take this one by storm.

* * *

**I'm sorry that was short, but I'll have another one up as soon as I can. **


	11. Audition

**This chapter contains a little bit from Adam's POV. The songs usedare 'Barque in the Harbour' and 'Widow in the Window' by Great Big Sea, aka The Coolest Band in the World. **

**I just thought I'd say- where I have Adam now, I was originally going to have good ol' Jon, but I decided that since he and Naomi became good friends at LAPA and he matured, (In my mind) I'd just leave him at that. So, now we have Adam. **

**

* * *

**

"And what do you plan to sing in this talent show?"

My mother wasn't completely opposed to the idea, because it seemed to give her a shred of hope that I might give in to her whims and make the sort of music she wanted.

"One of my original compositions."

"On what instrument?"

"The only one I know how to _play_, Mom."

"I'd like to hear this _original_ _composition_."

I sighed and went to get my guitar. The arguments had subsided, and now we mostly just regarded each other very coldly. I knew for sure that she wouldn't approve of my composition... so, setting my electric guitar back down, I picked up my acoustic, and decided to play a song that Grampy had taught me. It was a traditional folk song from Atlantic Canada, one of the many he'd picked up on his trips there. Of course, my Mom wouldn't know the difference.

I sat down in front of her and began tuning - a little slower than I had to- and finally played a longer introduction that I had to.

These days, I was going out of my way to bother her with little things.

I decided that I might as well sing, otherwise she'd be sitting there all day giving me that patronizing look.

_"From a barque in the harbour I went roaming on shore,  
And stepped into a pub where I was oft' times before,  
And as I was sitting and enjoying my glass,  
Who chanced to walk in but a young Spanish lass..." _

"What kind of song is this?" She wrinkled her nose.

"It's generally called 'Celtic' music, Mom, and Grampy used to teach me this stuff all the time."

It caused her to fall silent.

_"She sat down beside me and kept squeezing my hand  
And saying, "Sir, you're a stranger, not long to this land  
Will you roam jolly sailor, would you roam along with me?  
To some lonesome spot where nobody can see." _

"This song is a bit provacative." She sniffed. I shrugged.

"Yeah, but what can you do about it? _Don't you leave me jolly sailor," were the words she did cry.  
Waiting and weeping and wiping her eyes.  
"When you reach home in your own Newfoundland  
Think of the young Spaniard who kept squeezing your hand." _

"I suppose it will do," She said, getting up to leave, oblivious to the fact that it wasn't my song.

I guess I picked up more than I thought I did in those acting workshops at LAPA.

* * *

_**Waiting for the nightingale to sing  
Waiting for the harbour lights to dim**_

Again, I'm thinking about her. I wondered what had made us cross paths. Something in our personalities clicked the second we met, I think, and yet it was almost like trying to fit together two matching puzzle pieces together when one already had another piece in it.

_**I've been on the outside looking in  
While the widow in the window waits for him  
**  
_I wondered about this guy. This Sodapop, that she felt so strongly for. She said that he'd hurt her, but, to be fair, she'd hurt him. She wished she could have cut herself loose, but she couldn't let him go.

_**But he won't be back, won't you realize that? He's laughing at your sorrow...**_

It was the hardest thing in the world, to see a beautiful girl like Naomi, so young, with such a promising future, pining away for some guy that didn't realize how lucky he was to have her.

_**Waiting for a ship that won't come in  
Waiting for a tear to reach her chin  
I'm knocking, but she will not let me in**_

I only hoped that she wouldn't do anything rash... and suddenly I wanted to meet this guy. I mean, I should hate him. I really should. But I don't. I know that at some point, be must have been as crazy about Naomi as I am now... so how different could we be? I bet... I bet that if we ever meet, and there's not a fight in the first couple of minutes, we might get along...

**_And he won't be back, can't you realize that? He's laughing at your sorrow..._**

She'd be so upset if I ever told her how I felt. Like she needed to move on, because this guy wasn't coming around. He'd been making her wait for _months_ now... how could he possibly love her? She was wasting away for him. I needed to help her.

_**How can I explain, your love is all in vain  
While he wastes your precious hours  
I could fill your days with flowers...**_

But then... maybe _I_ just needed _her_. Maybe I was making up excuses for myself. If she needed help, why me? I wasn't anything special. I probably couldn't even measure up to this Sodapop, who seemed to be nearly perfect, the way Naomi talked about him.

_**How can I replace the smile upon the face  
of a lover that I can never be?**_

_No._

I slammed my fist down.

I'm going back there this summer. I'm going to ask Naomi if she's thought about it. I'm going to help her, even if it kills me. I'd heal her wounds... and I'd treat her right. I'd treat her like a queen... like the angel she is, and like the susperstar she's going to be... and maybe I'll meet this Sodapop. I think I might like the guy.

**_How can I begin to make you love again  
I tried to make you see._**

Yes... I'd help her. My poor, precious, broken angel. We needed _each other._

**_How can I explain that your love is all in vain  
While he wastes your precious hours  
I could fill your days with flowers..  
Flowers..._**

**_

* * *

_**

"Alright, Miss Sterling, whenever you're ready."

I smiled, stepping back from the microphone a little bit to begin my song on the guitar. It wasn't extremely hard rock, but it was enough that my mother would be miffed.

_"Maybe I'm getting tired of sitting and waiting,  
My patience to stand here is slowly fading,  
I meant when I said that I would wait for you,  
But not if it's the only thing I'll ever do..."_

For the first time in a while, I actually enjoyed myself onstage. The song flowed freely, andI didn't make a single mistake.

When I finished my audition, the judged stood to clap. I smiled and brushed my hair out of my eyes, slightly flushed. Then, the rest of the audience (It had been open to the public) slowly got to their feet as well. Except for one person.

A woman sitting in the back row, who got up and left, her arms crossed over her chest, her face set in an angry expression. At this, I felt a burning anger inside of me.

_Mom..._

_**  
**_


	12. Close Call

**I will bribe you to review, if need be. :-P **

**Actually, I'm doing pretty okay. I have two other fanfics in the making right now, one Outsiders, one not, and this one as well. So I technically have three going. And this one I'm just writing as I go along... so yeah... updates might get slowed a bit.

* * *

**

**_Naomi _**

Mom wasn't home when I arrived. Maybe it was a good thing... but really, I don't think she would have done anything. She would have looked at me, shook her head, and walked away. Oh well. Such is life.

I was walking along the street- I don't know where, but the sun was coming out and shining on the snow, creating a shimmering spectacle that I loved to see every winter, so I walked for a bit.

"Naomi!"

I spun around at the first sound of my name.

"Hey, Naomi! Over here!"

The voice was coming from an alleyway. I peered around the corner.

"Star?"

"Yeah. Listen, I have a problem." She pulled me in, much to the confusion of anyone who could see me but not her.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"I have to go to this guy. He's a dealer. But he's really... bad. Girls shouldn't approach him alone."

"So... why approach him?"

"He has something I need." She waved some money, "Sometimes he doesn't want your _money_, if you know what I mean."

"So... give him your money or nothing."

"Yeah... he doesn't always take no for an answer."

"So, what do you need me to do?" I was _really_ confused.

"I need you to come with me."

"What? Star, you're willing to risk getting raped just for some grass?"

"It's not grass," she hissed, "It's... it's something else, and I need it! Like, physically. I'm shaking, and sweating, and throwing up! I'm spending nights in the park already, and it's bad enough _without_ being in withdrawl!"

"Star," I said tiredly, shaking my head, "If you keep it up... let it get out of control... you're going to be shaking, and sweating, and throwing up when you _aren't_ in withdrawl."

"Naomi... I appreciate it. But you _can't_ prevent me from getting the stuff. You _can_ prevent this guy from hurting me."

"I... Star..." I sighed. She was my friend. But this was wrong. But she had to learn. But this was harsh. But... I wasn't using it, and I'd be okay, and if I couldn't convince her otherwise...

"Alright. Let's go."

* * *

**_Sandy _**

I silently wondered why I couldn't commit to any relationship I had.

When Marie had been born, I remember looking into my baby's eyes and swearing to start a new life. I wouldn't cheat, andI'd stop drinking and partying and everything else.

But here I was. I failed Marie. I failed Sodapop. I failed myself.

Anything that Soda and I had now was based on what we used to have. I thought I needed him. But I needed help. The hardest thing was that I know he had some hope that we might pull together for Marie. But we haven't. And he knows that I'm not being faithful to him... whether it's because of Marie, of because I'm making things worse, I don't know, but it's hurting him.

So here I go again. Back to where I get my fixes, back to what's ruining the already ruined marriage. I'm failing them again. And I'm hurting them again. And it's only just beginning to hurt me.

So I know I'm going to do it again.

* * *

**_Naomi_**

"There he is. At the end of that..." She stopped short. There was someone already there. She was a tad bit taller than us, with light blonde hair. That was all I could see from the back. And she was alone.

"That girl's alone," I hissed, "We should help her."

"No," She said suddenly, "We... we shouldn't."

"Why not? Hey, I'm going to." I began towards the girl.

"Stop! Wait!" She yelled, probably louder than she had to, "NAOMI! COME BACK!"

"Glory, I'll come back, " I hissed, "Just stop screaming!" I turned around, but the girl was gone.

"Okay. Come on, let's get the stuff."

* * *

**_Ponyboy_**

I contemplated what Soda had said.

Was it true that Naomi was acting like Dally? I couldn't see it, at first, but then it was dawning on me. I remembered when I'd written my theme for Mr. Syme, that revelation I'd had... that it wasn't a personal thing. There were boys going down under street lights everywhere. And I'd never noticed that Naomi could be one of them. She was losing someone she loved, too. She thought she was losing Soda.

It was all hitting me now. The way she spoke was even getting more sarcastic, cynical, and bitter, just like Dally. She seemed world weary, and held back. And I thought about that farmiliar look in her eyes she'd get sometimes. I brushed it off, but Ihad to eventually admit that it made me think of Dally. Now I knew. Like I described him to Mr. Syme - his eyes were blazing with hatred of the world.

I was scared out of my thoughts when the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Pony, how's things been?"

I felt at home suddenly. It was Darry. It was almost like being saved from drowning.

"Things've been... hard. With Sandy and all. "

"I know things must be weird with the baby, but it's alright."

"Yeah..."

"Pony, what's wrong?"

I couldn't remember ever wanting myoldest brother home as much as I did right now. I bit my lip.

"Darry... Sandy and Soda fight all the time... Sandy punched me before... sometimes Naomi comes and gets me so I can get away from all this... but then I have to come home! It's not like it used to be here!"

"Calm down, little guy. It's different, I know, but-"

"It's not just different! It's horrible! No one's happy! Soda's trying to hard to be positive for me and Marie, but everything that Sandy does is eating him from the inside out! I can't stand having her here!"

"Alright, alright. I called to tell you that I'm coming home on February 20th, okay? Things might get better then."

"Okay... I'll see you..."

"Bye."

I sighed. He didn't get it. But it was a relief. It was such a relief.

Darry's coming home... Sandy can't do anything when he's here... it's going to be fine...

I kept repeating the words over and over, hoping that eventually, I might believe them.

* * *

**_Naomi_**

"Alright. We just have to go down this alley-" I stopped short. Standing there was Sandy, plain as day.

Her chine blue eyes widened in shock, and she turned quickly to run away. But I knew it was her. My mind was reeling.

_She has a blue coat on, same as that girl. She _is_ that girl. She was talking to the dealer, and they were okay._

Then it hit me. Sandy must be cheating on Sodaas well as doing whatever she was getting from that guy.

"That was Sandy!" I yelled, making to go after her, "Come on!"

"No," Star grabbed my arm, "It wasn't. I know that girl. Come on-"

"Star, what are you doing? Let go!"

"No, we're going this way!"

She dragged me away to another alley that connected to the one that we were in.

"Star, I know it was her!"

"No, you were wrong, it-"

Her jaw dropped. Standing at the end of the alleyway was a man who'd been watching us the whole time we were talking to the dealer- well, Star was, I'd been too scared- and he was facing us full on now, allowing us to see his blue uniform and gold badge.

It was the fuzz.

"Run!" Star pushed me in the other direction. I didn't need telling twice. I noticed Star falling behind me, but I didn't stop. I ran and ran and ran all the way home, and locked the door.

Oh my gosh. I almost got arrested. The police saw me with a drug dealer. I wasn't doing anything, but as far as guilty by association goes... they might not charge me, but... they could still arrest me! Oh God, what happened to Star? She actually had done something wrong, and she might have her drugs on her... if she got caught...

I pushed the thoughts from my mind, and concentrated on something else...

That _had_ been Sandy I'd seen. And I wanted to know _what_ she was doing, with _who_, _why_, and the reason that Star wouldn't believe me.


	13. Don't Bother

**This is the last update I'm having for a week, since we're going camping... :-( Family camping trips are normally a living hell on a good day. Anyhoo... leave nice reviews so that I might be sane upon returning... (cue _nervous laughter_)**

* * *

"Soda?" 

"Naomi... uh... hi..."

"Okay, I know you're probably mad at me, and with every right, too, but I need to tell you something."

"Uh... okay... do you want to come in?"

"I... no, Sandy's probably there, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is."

"Great. She'll call me a liar, or she'll turn it around so that-"

"What? Naomi, hold on... does this have to do with Sandy?"

"...Yeah. It does."

"Well, let's go outside."

Once we were out, he turned around calmly to look at me.

"Alright. Now, what is it that you have to tell me about Sandy?"

"You know Star? Well, it's like you said... she's on drugs. She's a good person, Soda," I said, giving him a warning glare, "But she's made some bad choices and now she's in a problem area. But still, she knows this dealer... this guy who sometimes will demand a payment other than money from girls who approach him alone. So I went with her- Oh, for God's sakes, Soda, don't give me that patronizing look! It was to keep her from getting raped! - But we saw Sandy there... alone... and talking to him. I don't know if you've knowthis, but not only is she most likely ondrugs... she's most likely _cheating_ on you, too..." I trailed off.

His eyes were closed, and he was starting to shake his head ever so slightly.

"I knew..." he managed finally, and his voice tugged at my heart, and also at my memory asI was reminded of that Christmas Day when I'd been forced to lie and tell him that I didn't have feelings for him...

_"I was going to say..." I really had no idea what I was going to say, "Last night was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened," I was staring at my shoes, noticing how they weren't very white anymore, "I mean..."_

_"Yeah?" I noticed Sodapop sounded like he might start crying. That made two of us._

_"I guess...there's..." I trailed off again, not sure what to say._

_"There's someone else?"_

_"Yeah."I bit my bottom lip._

_"Okay." I had expected him to get upset or yell or something, but he just sounded defeated._

_"I'm sorry-"_

_"It's not your fault."His tone of voice really made me want to cry. It was so sad and defeated._

"I knew... she might... I thought she might be... I didn't know... I couldn't really say for sure."

He wasn't crying, but he was pretty close to it. I wanted to hug him, right then and there, but of course, I didn't.

"This probably looks stupid," he continued, "Me getting all upset over her... but I told you, Naomi, somehow I still love her. I might not like her... I might hate her, even... but I still love her. She's not how she used to be. She used to be real sweet... so it does hurt. It still hurts to know that she's not being true, becauseI always think about how she used to be... and I still love the person that she used to be... "

"I'm sorry..." I stammered, "It wasn't my place to come and tell you-"

"No, I'm glad you told me. Listen, I'll-" he trailed off as Sandy poked her head out the door, and raised an eyebrow.

"Soda? What's wrong?"

He just looked at her - his eyes full of hurt - and turned away, shaking his head. Once he was gone, she glared at me.

"What did you say to him?" She asked, her voice low and dangerous.

"Nothing he didn't deserve to know." I whispered, shrugging my shoulders and sauntering away.

* * *

"Where were you? You were gone all day!" 

I knew I sounded worried, but I wasn't really. Marie and Soda had been gone all day, and she was safer with him than with me.I had been waiting, though. I knew that Naomi had told Sodapop that I was being unfaithful to him, and I knew that it was still hurting him... why, I have no idea, I was sure he hated me by now... but it was really eating at him inside. I wanted to ask him to see if he knew for sure, but the look in his eyes right now told me not to.

"Where were you?" I asked again.

"At the hospital."

"Why?"

"I took Marie..." He breathed out, and looked me in the eyes. "I got a paternity test."

I was sure that the world stopped spinning. I'd always made excuses as to why he couldn't. Marie was the only thing keeping us together. If he thought she wasn't his daughter... he'd leave us for Naomi. I know he would. And now he knew...

"She's not mine." He was glaring daggers at me, and I felt myself shrinking in his gaze.

"Soda-"

"Don't bother... just don't try and talk to me." He turned and left the house.

It was a while before I noticed that he took Marie with him.

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**I normally hate it when authors do this, but... **

**Please review!**


	14. I'd Kill For Her

**I'm baaaaaack! **

**And I have a short yet semi- eventful chapter. Great, isn't it?**

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I finally found out where Star was. Her grandparents had taken her in, ignorant of her drug use. It was all for the better, because she wouldn't have surivived on the streets. She wouldn't talk about why she tried to pull me away from Sandy, but I guess I can't expect someone under the influence of God-Knows-What to be completely cooperative. In any case, she was getting along great with her grandparents, and seemed really happy. 

I wish I could say the same about my home, but I can't.March 11 is a day that will stand out in my memory forever. I'd been arguing with Mom, again, but this time it got out of hand. If Dad had been home, he would have stopped us, but he wasn't, so it escalated quickly. We covered almost every subject, and I knew which ones were coming next.

"And that God Forsaken music you listen to!"

"What's wrong with it?"

"How can you be so impertinent as to ask me that?"

"Well, what's so great about yours?"

"Mine is acceptable, and respectable!"

"So is mine, Mom, and have of the things you've heard me play have been my own compositions!"

There was a silence, where Mom's face was flushed and she was angrier than I'd ever seen her before.

"Those compositions," She said slowly and dangerously, "Are an utter _mockery_ of music."

"You..." I clenched my jaw so hard that my head hurt, "You horrible... _horrible_ bitch..."

She didn't flinch. That made me even angrier.

"You're a terrible mother."

"And you're just the _perfect_ daughter."

"Tell me, then! What is a daughter required to do?"

"Respect her parents, and do as she's told."

"Alright. Let's dissect that, shall we? I _can't_ respect you anymore. You sunk so low that it ashames me. And you don't respect me. Do as I'm told? You've never actually _told_ me what to do, you just always assumed I knew, and then mentioned it afterwards."

"_I_ sunk so low?Everyday, you're in the park with those dirty flower children!"

"They're decent people, Mom, and you've always forced me-"

"What we did were two different things!"

"You're right. Your's was _much_ worse. You _lied_ to me."

"_When_? I've commited no wrong as far as the gospel says, and that's where my loyalties lie."

"Lying isn't always talking, Mom. So tell me." I turned on her, glaring, "Where, in the Bible, does it say, 'Thou Shalt not hang around with hippies?"

"That's not-"

"But it certainly condemns lying. Mom, you have no loyalties."

"What have your loyalties ever done for you? Gotten you home from LAPA, where you could have had a future! You threw away your dream for some silly boy!"

"No, Mom, I threw away _your_ dream for the guy I _love_. I don't care how cheesey that sounds, it's true. I made my own choice."

"_Your_ choices will get you nowhere. The boy has a child! He's married! Do you think I want the town knowing that my daughter is some kind of... some kind of little harlot?"

"Mom," I saidthrough clenched teeth, my voice burning with rage, "What are you saying?"

"By God, are blind? Anyone who knows about you and that greaser thinks you're some sort of... _whore_!"

The front door had slammed shut before my mother realized the blatant comment she'd made. But it didn't matter. I wasn't coming back.

* * *

They came home.

I knew they would, Soda wouldn't leave me that quickly. He'd make me suffer, like he did. I know he suffers everytime that he thinks about me cheating on him. I know he wasting away his life on me and Marie... but I can't help it.

I looked at my baby. She's going to be one yearold in a few months. I might not even be here then... either Sodapop will make me leave, or my own guilt for ruining everyone's lives will run me out... either way, I know one thing for sure.

No one can take my baby.  
No one is taking my baby from me.  
We'll stay together.

I remembered the conversation I'd had with Naomi, when we were arguing about Marie, and my statement came back to me, and I accepted it. It was true.

**"I need the security for Marie! You don't understand! I'd _kill_ for her!"**


	15. Grave Mistakes

**So... thank you Kaligirl05 for reviewing. My account shows me that I had more hits than that... I know you're out there :-D **

**Also, the longest chapter so far was chapter four, and the shortest was chapter eight... interesting, huh? **

**I got laughed at for using a Rihanna song in this chapter (Nice to have friendswho support you, huh?) But I wanted to use a song and was too lazy to use one other than the obvious. **

**Big stuff happens over the next few chapters. Sandy-haters... get your nunchucks ready... **

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Today was the final straw.I was going to see Marie - check up on her, see if her diaper needed changing, the usual - when I walked by the living room, and saw Sodapop sitting there... still as a statue... his hands pressed together by his face, as though he was praying. But I knew he wasn't... he wasn't doing anything. Just... zero. 

My hand moved to my mouth. _My God, I've ruined him. _I knew it was my fault. I bound him to me, refusing to let him go because of some twisted emotion I _thought_ might be lingering love... and I had the nerve to cheat on him. No wonder he was so undone. I knew what he was thinking, somehow. He was doubting himself something awful.

**Story of my life, searching for the right, but it keeps avoiding me... sorrow in my soul... cause it seems that wrong really loves my company...**

God knows what his mind could be like. How could I degrade someone like this? I never thought about Ponyboy, or Naomi, or anyone else I was hurting... because I blamed Naomi for this, too. If he didn't love her so much, he would have been happy with me...

**'Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful, and it kills him inside, to know that I am happy with some other guy... I can see him dying.**

I put my belongings back into the two suitcases I'd brought with me. Funny, after the huge struggle I'd put up, I was leaving because of my own guilt... but it was worse than being thrown out. The more I thought about the pain I was causing Soda, and the pain that I would cause Marie if I didn't do something, the more pain I was in myself. And I kept thinking that it was Naomi's fault almost as much as it was mine.

**I don't wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be the reason why, every time I walk out the door...I see him die a little more inside.**

I had to leave... find a place... I'd leave Marie for now, but I'd be back for her. I was going to disappear from his life... he could have Naomi, God damn her, and he'd have his own family... never having to think about Sandy or Marie again...

**I don't wanna hurt him anymore... I don't wanna take away his life - I don't wanna bea murderer. **

I'd caused him enough suffering. I'd caused myself enough suffering.I don't think he even heard the door close as I left, in the state he was in. But had Naomi suffered? I didn't know. At all. Sometimes, though, when we're not in our right minds, we do things just to make sure...

* * *

For the first time in a long time, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Sandy's betrayal was so hurtful that, in time, I realized that I couldn't stay with her anymore. It just... wasn't possible. I didn't love her. I loved Naomi. I was staying with Sandy for Marie... but Sandy wasn't a suitable mother. Sure, she loved her child. She'd die for Marie. But she wasn't suitable in other feilds. Naomi would be a good mother to Marie, I bet... but I didn't want to get ahead of myself.

I had to go to Naomi as soon as I could and tell her I'd chosen... that I'd chosen _her_. I was getting really anxious now. I had that farmiliar feeling that I'd missed so much... I wanted to bounce off the walls, and run around... what did Pony call it? He said I got high off of living... the best high there is.

Before I saw Naomi, though, I'd have to get clear of Sandy, and try to make her leave Marie. It didn't matter that she was some other guy's kid... blood ties were trivial to me now. She was more my daughter than she was anyone else's.

But Sandy wasn't home.

_Huh, _I thought_, that's weird. Oh well... I'll just wait. As long as I don't go crazy from wanting to be able to be with Naomi without thinking about the wife that's cheating on me..

* * *

"Star?" _

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"It's Sandy. Listen, hun... remember what I said about Naomi?"

"Uh... what?"

"That she'd take Sodapop's rejection hard. She'll likely come to you. You'll need to numb her or something, okay?"

"Oh, I get it. You're a good friend to her, Sandy."

I smiled at the irony.

"Okay. But she's a really good girl, you know?"

"Yeah."

"She's real straight. She won't do anything... _willingly_."

Star gasped.

"I can't force her... that's illegal... I'd _never_..."

"She'll thank you later. I promise. Just do it, okay?"

"Fine. Are you sure?"

"Yes. You and I both know it's the best help she can get."

Star sighed. "That's true. Alright. Bye."

"Take care."

I hung up, smiling. Poor, trusting Star. Drugs must have affected her mind. She hardly thought straight. Popping another quarter into the machine, I dialed what the phonebook depicted to be Naomi's phone number. As I hoped, I got the answering machine.

"Hey, excuse me!" I yelled at a passing guy, "Could you help me?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you leave a message pretending to be a guy named Sodapop, telling a girl named Naomi that you had to choose Sandy over her, okay? Can you do that?"

"You're lucky I'm an actor." He smirked, and Iwas pretty surehe wouldn't have done it had I dressed a little more decently for the weather.

"Hey, Naomi," he said with an air that almost seemed like Sodapop, "It's me... Sodapop... I wanted to tell you this in person, but I guess... I can't. It's just that... I had to choose Sandy. We've had some good times, and I'll always remember you, but it wouldn't work between us, okay? Bye."

He placed the phone back on the hook. "Easy as pie."

"Thank you," I purred, walking away.

_Perfect._

_

* * *

_

**10:30 PM**

"Naomi," Ashley said, "The phones for you. It's your mom, she says that someone left a message for you."

I rolled my eyes. Ever since I left home, (Ashley had insisted I stay with her,) Mom had been calling to give me messages from people who didn't know I lived with Ashley now.

"Yeah?"

"Naomi? Your father and I just got home, and there was a message for you from that boy. He said that you've had good times and all that sentimental business, but he's chosen Sandy. Exactly what _kind_ of good times have you had?"

I wasn't paying attention. My bloodstream had stopped moving.

"What? Was it actually him?"

"Yes, it was. He said his name was _Sodapop_." She spat it out like it was poison.

I dropped the phone, and scrunched my eyes closed. There was a wave of nausea and pain and anger and hurt and everything else... and I had to get away.

I ran from the room and out onto the streets, completely ignoring Ashley's confused shouts.

I wandered the streets, remembering what I told Soda.

_Harden yourself, and you don't feel anything..._

I remembered, with a jolt, what Ponyboy had relayed to me - telling me of his friend's self-planned police gun down... an elaborate suicide, if you will...

_Get tough like me, and nothing can touch you..._

But he was wrong. That tough hood that Ashley and I had met two autumns ago by the record store had been wrong. Everyone had a breaking point. I knew his story, and yet I followed the same road... I hadn't hardened myself as much as him, so I wasn't about to kill myself, thank God, but I was in unbearable pain...

"Naomi!"

I was startled out of my misery.

"Star?" I asked, dazed.

"Yes, it's me. Come with me, you're a mess!"

_Star... _I thought stupidly, _she's so nice. She cares about me. I can trust her. Hell, if everyone left me, I'd still have Star. Good old Star... she'll help me. Nothing bad will happen to me with Star._

I was so wrong. Following Star was one of the worst mistakes of my life.


	16. Gone For Good

**I decided to update a little sooner than I planned. I realize I left the slightest of cliffhangers... what with Naomi having made a stupid decision and we don't know why... so... you'll find out next chapter. **

**Sandy Haters... this one's for you. :-)

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Sandy was all set up in the room that Evie had offered her. Not unlike Naomi, she hadn't had a specific plan as to where she would live when she left, and so a friend took her in most graciously. She had considered going back to her parents... they'd take her in... but they'd insist on always helping with Marie, and Sandy wanted to be the mother of her baby without someone else always prodding. **

"Where you going, Sandy?" Evie called from the kitchen, where her little brother had broken a marker and splatted the ink on the floor.

"I'm getting Marie!"

A fewseconds later, Evie was at her side.

"What? You're just gonna show and up take her?" She asked in disbelief.

"I want my baby, and I'm gonna get my baby."

"If you want her so bad, you should have brought her with you!"

"I couldn't take her _and _all my stuff! She's safe there for now-"

"Sandy, listen to me. If you wanted to get her out of there, this afternoon would have been perfect. You could have left your stuff there, taken Marie, and gone back to get everything else. Now, they're gonna fight for her."

"Not likely. She's not Soda's baby, he probably doesn't want anything to do with her. Besides, if I had taken her first, and I had to go back for my stuff... what if I was spending tonight on the streets? I can't just leave Marie on the sidewalk!"

"Fine... whatever. Just... come back soon, okay?" Evie waved her off.

"Why are you so worried?"

"I know about your habits, Sandy. Be careful."

Sandy pulled her coat tighter around her to block out the dry winter wind, and set off to get back her baby.

* * *

Amidst the excitement that Sodapop had over finally choosing Naomi, and just the excitment over being excited again, Soda had forgotten that Darry was due home that night. Needless to say, he was pleasantly shocked to see his big brother walking through the front foor, weighed down with his luggage. It's also needless to say that Ponyboy and Darry were happy to hear of Soda's choice... and shocked that Sandy hadn't been around for a while. 

"She's been gone all afternoon?"

"Yeah. I'm not too worried, though," Soda replied, "She does this. Probably out with some guy... at some club. I could care less, though, I really could."

"Calm down, buddy," Darry said, raising an eyebrow at Sodapop's behavior, "You sound like you've had a whole pot of coffee to yourself."

"Feels like it, too," Soda agreed, bouncing slightly, "And Marie's here, too, you'll have to meet her when she's up from her nap, Darry, she's not mine but she's a real sweet baby. I'm almost considering-"

"Alright, buddy, let Pony talk now. How's school?"

"Pretty good. We have a book to study, I thought you might like it. Actually, you might have already read it. I'll show you in a bit."

"I'd like that. Well, I should put my stuff away. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Sodapop was just about to get up to check on Marie when the door opened, and Sandy walked in, her perfect blonde hair covered in a shimmering coat of light snow. Soda and Pony both actually _felt_ their good moods vanishing.

"I'm leaving," Soda said, goinginto the other room, with no further words.

Sandy didn't say anything, either, just went up the hall, returning a minute later with Marie. Silently, she moved around the living room, picking up Marie's toys and putting them ina bag. Pony got the strangest notion... and ran into Sandy's room to check.

All her drawers were empty. The closet was bare, and her suitcase was gone.

She was leaving, and taking Marie.

Flying back into the other room, Pony blocked her exit.

"No," he said in a dangerous voice, "You're not leaving."

"Why not? You don't want me here."

"You're damn right I don't. But we want Marie."

"What? She's not even related to you!"

"So what? Blood ties don't matter. She's more my niece than she'll ever be anyone else's!"

"You can't stop me!"

"I can," He said, smirking slightly, "And I will."

She set Marie down on the couch, and approached him.

"What are you going to do? You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?"

"No."

"So, what?"

"I just won't let you by."

The next action can probably be described as a lack of judgement on Sandy's side. She ran directly at him, and pushed him back by his shoulders. He responded by pushing back on her shoulders, a position they'd been in before in a previous arguement. Neither one said a word, both pushing with all their strength against the other, Sandy trying to get out, Ponyboy trying to get her out without Marie. Unfortunately, Sandy was farthest from the door - so she swung herself to the side, Pony's head coming dangerously close to the hard stone mantle.

She realized what she'd done, that now Pony was between Marie and her, and she was near the door. She let go and ran towards Marie, but Pony grabbed her by her upper arms and pushed her back against the fireplace mantle.

Sodapop and Darry ran into the room just in time to see this. Darry raised an eyebrow.

"Well, this isn't going well. What's going on?"

"She's trying to take Marie!" Pony gasped, as Sandy pushed him back - and they were back in their previous postition, both shoving each other backwards by the shoulders. Sodapop ran and grabbed Marie up in his arms to calm her, as she was becoming quite distraught.

"Sandy, please," Darry reasoned, "Let _go_ of him."

After a quick glance at the stone fireplace behind her, she smirked.

"Alright."

She jumped swiftly back, letting Ponyboy, who was putting all his weight into pushing her, fall forwards, directly into the stone fireplace.

It seemed to happen in slow motion. Pony's head only grazed the corner, fortunately, or he could have been knocked unconcious. He pushed himself off the floor, turning to look at Sandy. Darry was taken aback by the look of hatred in both of his little's brother's eyes. What had this woman done to them to make them hate her this much? Soda and Pony didn't hate easily.

"Get out," Soda said quietly and dangerously, in a voice that none of the three had heard him use before, "Get out, andnever come back."

"Marie-"

"Is better off without you. Get out of here," his eyes were blazing dangerously, "I should have gotten rid of you the first time you hit Pony. Any time since then. Marie doesn't need _you_."

No one in the room saw fit to move, save for Sandy, who moved towards the door. Darry had only seen him like this once - that night of the rumble, last year, when he'dseen that Soc kicking Pony...

"Soda..."

"Yeah, Pony?" He turned, his gaze softening.

"I don't know if it's the right time to say this, but you remember how Naomi was reminding you of Dally?"

"Yeah?"

"Just there, you reminded me of him. The way you were talking, and the look in your eyes. Maybe it's not so bad that Naomi's like that, after all."

"Yeah... but she's more... the bad side. She's on about the hardening herself beyond caring, and everything..."

"Soda," Darry said suddenly, "None of us completely knew Dally. I mean, really _knew_ him. Butme and Two-Bit came the closest, and I'll tell you this. You need to go see Naomi as soon as you can. You can't let that hardening herself thing go on a second longer than you can help."

"Yeah, it's best I -"

He stopped, his blood freezing cold. That conversation he'd had with Sandy was coming back...

_"How could you accuse me of cheating? And get a goddamn paternity test, why don't you?"_

_"Maybe I will!"_

_"Right before you divorce me!"_

_"Maybe I'll do that too!"_

_"You wouldn't really."_

_"What makes you so sure?"_

_"If you care about your pretty little singer, you won't."_

"I have to get Naomi before Sandy does."

"Buddy, the truck doesn't work!" Darry yelled at him as he ran out the door.

* * *

"She doesn't live here anymore. She lives at Ashley's house." Mrs. Sterling told the flush faced teenagers before her, one apretty blonde girl, and the otherthe boy that Naomimade such a fuss over. It was obvious that neither one was evenacknowledging the other's presence."Look there." Little did she know, they had been racing against each other the entire way there. And she was furthermore confused when they both took off running towards Ashley's house. 

Some people...

* * *

"No, she's not here," Ashley said, after having pulled Sodapop inside and leaving Sandy out, "She got a phone call about ten minutes ago, and just ran off. Please find her, okay? Don't let the blonde bitch get her." 

"I won't," Soda promised, "Nice talking to you again, Ashley."

"Yeah, we'll have to hang out more...Maybe you should find our friend, okay? On second thought... I'll come."

"Great."

They both stepped outside, took one look at Sandy, then looked at each other.

"Run!" they chorused, and took off, Sandy trailing behind them. They all knew where they were going...

Star's house.

* * *

**A/N: Just incase there was some confusion, when Sandy and Soda are racing to find Naomi, she's still wandering the streets, they just didn't bump into her, and Star finds her about ten minutes or so after Soda and Ashley have their conversation.**

**And yes, Sodapop has left Sandy for good. **


	17. Poor Angel

**Okay... this chapter is number 3 in the 4 big ones. So... read, review,and be merry, all that fun stuff... **

**I think I'll be updating this every second day until it's done, and on the days in between I'll be updating my re-write of The Story of Riley Cade (I don't know _why_ I could't just leave it...) So that's a lot of updating for me. Thank God I don't have anything else to do.**

**Also, I apologize for when mywordsallruntogether. I just type too fast sometimes. **

**This chapter was an experience to write, but I feel bad for what I put Naomi through. Maybe become graphic. I don't know yet...**

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"Naomi, I'm really sorry," Star was saying, and I wasn't sure why it was hard to understand her. I thought, at the time, maybe I was in shock or something, but now I think I was just worn out, and cold from wandering the streets, "How long were you out there?" 

"I dunno," I murmured, leaning my head back against the soft couch. I felt warm and sleepy... and pleasantly numb...

"Okay... do you want something to drink? Or eat? Anything?"

"A drink'd be nice." I closed my eyes, sighing contentedly. Star was so nice...

"Alright." She sounded worried.

"Star?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong? You sounded scared."

"Nothing, I'm just... you might be sick or something, and I don't really know what to do for a sick person... does hot chocolate sound good?"

"It sounds great."

A few minutes later, she returned and handed me a mug, and took a seat, watching me anxiously.

"I'm alright, you know," I said, smiling as I took the mug, "I'm not gonna pass out..." Drinking eagerly, I stopped suddenly, setting the cup down.

"What is it?" She asked, jumping forwards, "Are you alright? Can you see me? Naomi, answer me!"

"I'm fine, Star, I'm just frozen to the bone, and this is really hot. I shouldn't have taken that much."

"Oh," She said, sighing with relief, "That's okay, then."

I finished off the cup, and leaned back. I felt warm and sleepy... the room was getting darker...

_I'm falling asleep, _I thought, amused, _right on Star's couch._

I laughed aloud. Hey, that was pretty funny.

"Naomi, I'm sorry," She burst out, her face now a picture of worry.

"Nothing's wrong," I muttered, "The room's just getting dark. Dark... red... and... blue... and... Oh God, Star, something's wrong!"

"I'm sorry, Sandy told me that you'd need it!"

"Need what?" I was having difficulty talking. Star jumped up and left the room, looking ready to cry. I didn't bother to follow...

I sat on the floor in her living room fora long time. At least, it seemed like it. I was brought back to whatever conciousness I had by a strange feeling in my chest... my throat was constricting tightly, and I remembered the day that the hospital called to say that Grampy had died. That horrible anxiety waiting for Mom to get off the phone and tell me why she was crying.

Only worse. Something was going on... I was so nervous, and scared, and I tried to get up and get Star, but I only gota few feet before I fell hard on the ground.

"Star!" I screamed, but sound wasn't coming out...

_Glory, _I thought, _my mouth's gone! _I began to panic, beating on the floor with my fists, and I probably would have kicked, too, if I had been able to find my feet... wait... _Are my feet gone? With my mouth? _

I tried to push myself away from the floor, I didn't want to touch it. I didn't want to lie down, or sit up, or see the room, but when I closed my eyes, I saw all sorts of weird things. I didn't want to see, hear, feel, or listen. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to... _anything. _

_"I don't want to..." _I muttered, and then, realizing my mouth had come back from wherever it went... probably with my feet, and they were getting high with Star, because I couldn't find any of them either, I began to scream.

**"I DON'T WANT TO! I DON'T WANT TO!"** Over and over and over, flailing my arms, and trying desperately _not to_.

I got up, and tried to get away, but I couldn't see anything. I was crying something awful, and my face was drenched in tears...There were things in front of me, and they were chasing me. Monsters, I realized, the extreme anxiety exploding in my head again, and turned away to run. I didn't get very far, though, before I hit my head on something, I think it was one of the moons, and fell down.

_My feet probably had to go again, _I thought, feeling my head. Maybe there was a moon there. Maybe my feet were in there. Yeah, my feet were in there, getting stoned with Star. That's why I felt so funny. I felt something warm and wet on my hand... blood?

"Naomi!" A voice yelled, but I didn't know where from. I tried to see it, but nothing happened.

Then, everything went away... the moons, the monsters, and all the screaming faces. The lights and colors were still spinning.I lost any happiness I just had... and felt scared, andnervous. I started to cry again, curling up in a ball.

_"Make it stop..." _I cried into my knees, "_Grampy, please, make it go away..." _I had to get out of my body. It was the only way. I began to claw at my arms, but it wasn't helping. I kept scratching myself, pushing away the insistant hands that were trying to stop me.

_It's one of the monsters, _I thought in anger, _trying to keep me in pain... _

I only scratched harder, until I felt blood on my fingers. I couldn't feel the scratches, though.

_"Help me!" _I screamed, "_Star, where the fuck did you go? I need out!" _I threw myself around, in a tantrum like way, until I hit extremely hard into something. I felt something strange going on in my arm, and stopped.

I lay there on the floor for a few years. It wasn't hard to lay there, but I was so scared, and every time I tried to escape, I ended up bleeding again. There must have been another way, but the faces thought it was funny when I was in pain, and they didn't help me.

Then, two hands grabbed me.

_"No, not anymore," _I pleaded, because I knew that it was another monster. It felt like girl hands, so it was a girl monster. I knew it was going to make my brain cells pop again. I hadn't liked that... it had hurt when they were making my brain cells pop...

_"Please, Grampy..." _I cried, "_Mama... Hannah..." _

"Holy shit," a voice said, and I knew it... but I couldn't remember who's it was.

"What did you give her?" I knew _that_ voice.

"Ash?"I asked, her face almost coming into view. She was starting to cry. Someone was holding onto me.

"It's okay, Mimi," she said, using Grampy's pet name for me, "You'll be alright."

"_No, I won't," _I insisted, "I need to get out of my body..."

"Star, what the _hell_ did you give her?" the voice that was lifting me off the ground asked her.

"Soda?" I asked, uncertainly.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Let go." I pushed weakly against him, but my arms weren't answering.

"No. You need help."

"I need Grampy."

"Star, we need you to tell us."

I couldn't see Star, but I could hear her crying. I was crying, too. Or was that just blood?

"Sandy told me... told me that after you decided you couldn't be with Naomi, she'd come to me. I should give her something to take that would make it feel better. She said that Naomi couldn't know, or she wouldn't take it."

"What was it?"

Star shook her head.

"She'll get in trouble," snarled Ashley, "Fine. The hospital will tell us, and then you'll be in trouble anyway."

I might have said something, but the faces came back. They were rotting, and laughing. They poked my lungs, and I couldn't breathe. I started to scream again, and kick my feet.

"Look!" Ashley yelled, pushing Star towards where I was screaming and convulsing as Sodapop tried deperately not to drop me, "Look what you've done to her! Come on, Soda, we have to get her to the hospital.

The car ride was horrible. Ashley drove, andI later learned that, while they had been running against Sandy, they'd decided to take her mom's car.

"It's alright, Naomi..." Ashley would say over her shoulder, but I knew it wasn't. My head was going to explode, there was too much light and color and sound...

* * *

**_Sodapop's POV_**

The second I'd gotten in that room with Ashley, I know that we were both expecting the worse, whatever that might be. But neither of us were prepared to see what we saw.

I always thought Naomi was like an angel... she had a beautiful singing voice, and her blonde curls and fair skin only added to that. So to walk into that room and see that sight... I thought I was going to be sick.

My first thought was, someone's hurt her. Someone's hurt this... this perfect _angel_. But looking around, something even worse became obvious.

_She's done this to herself._

There was a picture thrown off the wall, anda mirror that looked like someone had punched it. And there was blood spots at various places on the carpet.

Ashley sounded like she was going to throw up, and I told her to go find Star. They came back a few minutes later.

I'd gone over to Naomi, and rolled her over. She was twitching, a bit, but seemed unconcious, except for the occasional muttering.

Her appearance was heartbreaking. The worst look of pain and fear on her face, and her eyes were wide open, a brilliant yellow ring around her pupils that were dilated as much as they could go. Her

She was covered in streaks of blood. It looked like she'd scratched her face, and arms... Oh God, her arm. She must have dislocated it, or sprained it, or broken it, or... _something... _

"Ashley," I yelled, realizing how paniced I sounded, "Get me a cloth! Or something wet!"

A minute later, I had a wet cloth in my hand. Star and Ashley were both crying, so I told them to leave the room for now.

_Poor Angel... _I found myself thinking subconciously, _And if she's okay after this... she really is an angel... _

After I cleaned off a bit of her face - she was still mumbling about colors and lights - I could see there was a gash on her forehead, and several scratches down her cheeks. Her arms were similar, but worse. Her knuckles... she had obviously smashed that mirror with her bare hands.

"We need to try and get her concious," Ashley said, panicing, "Naomi!" She grasped the scratched arms carefully, and gasped slightly when she saw that the newly cleaned cuts were starting to bleed again.

"No, not any more..." She whispered, "Please, Grampy... Mama... Hannah.."

"Holy shit," I muttered. Something was wrong. Something was really, really messed up here. Brushing a bloody blonde curl away from her face, I picked Naomi up off the ground. She was crying, now, and the gash on her head was bleeding again. I didn't care that I got her blood and tears on my shirt. It was the blood and tears of an angel, after all...

* * *

**_Naomi's POV_**

I'd kicked and screamed and done everything in my power against the doctors. They were only going to hurt me again...

But as soon as I'd gotten in, felt like someone was pouring ice water over my brain. I felt calm, and relaxed. My arm was really hurting where I'd hit it, and the scratches and cuts where stinging, but right then, the relief was the best feeling in the world.

"What is it?" One whispered to the other.

"We need to look at these cuts. Write this down... she's responsive... _hell_, yes..." He rubbed his side where I'd kneed him as he tried to hold me down (They'd been giving me needles for something, but I hadn't wanted them.) "Broken elbow, severel scratches, one large gash, and her knuckles need to be cleaned out. A decent amount of Lysergic Acid Diathylamide in her system, we'll question her about it later."

My blood ran cold. _Lysergic Acid Diathylamide._ LSD... Acid... Is that what Star put in my drink? I was too scared to try and remember what had gone on that evening, but I didn't find it too difficult to believe that Star may have slipped something. It explained how she was acting before the whole thing.

I wanted to stay awake, because I was afraid of what I might dream after that trip, but I fell asleep before I could try to stay awake. Blame it on the medication, I guess.

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**This is an edit, on... August 2. Just saying that there will be approximately ten chapters left... and my Stats tell me that I've gotten hits, but no one's reviewed... funny, that.**

**Even just put 'meh' in your review, just so I know someone _read_ it. **


	18. Playing the Game

**Thank you, Kaligirl05, for the review. **

**That last chapter was hard to write, actually, I've become rather fond of Naomi. I felt like I was sending my child on a bad acid trip... okay, not that much. **

**Please review. It's all that keeps the story going, because I'm not very good at things without encouragement. Blame it on my self-esteem...

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When I first saw myself in the hospital, I wasn't scared. I wasn't sick, or shocked, or anything... I really just groaned inwardly. **

My arms were really scratched. I remembered doing _that_. It had seemed like a good idea at the time... I still didn't want to think very much about what happened... but I remembered hurting my elbow. I was throwing myself around, and I hit it. Then I lay on the ground until Soda and Ashley found me...

I knew I wasn't going to be able to be friends with Star. I just... I couldn't possibly see her without remembering the worst night of my life. I wondered where Ashley was... she'd been my real friend all along, even when I'd chosen to spend time at the park... where I wouldn't be going any more.

I looked at my head in the mirror. The blood was washed from my hair, I'd been concious for that. There was a small square of gauze covering nearly half of my forehead. I prayed there wouldn't be a scar there. My knuckles were wrapped in gauze... what had I done? Must have been from that mirror... why the hell did I _ever_ accept that drink?

* * *

"Naomi." 

I looked up to see my parents. I didn't do anything, really. I justlooked at them.

"May we sit?"

"Not my hospital." I shrugged, "I'm just the lucky bummer victim who takes up a room."

"Naomi... we'd like you to come home."

"Will it be like before?" I cut in suddenly, "Because the doctors have told me what things are going to be like. I'll have nightmares, and flashbacks..."

"But once the drugs are out of your system-"

"Which might not be for a year or more. I'm serious, if you're just going to insult my music, and fight with me, I'll stay with Ashley."

"Honey-"

"No. I wish things were like they used to be. Before I left. I want to be able to make my music without feeling hated."

"_Hated_?"

"Mom, just because certain music isn't what _you_ listen to, doesn't degrade it. At _all_."

"Listen, Naomi-"

"Starling," My dad cut in, "Listen. The hospital has brought it up with us... you need to come home. You're a minor, and you've come across harm... you need to come home. I'm afraid we've gone beyond the matter of choice."

"Alright, dad."

"What? You're just giving in?"

"Dad never chased me out of the house. I'll see you later." I rolled over on my side, away from them. They took their cue to leave.

* * *

"Naomi." 

I turned around to see Sodapop coming into the quiet room. I cursed silently. _Damn, damn, damn... _I was reminded all too vividly of the time I'd turned him down... two Christmases ago...

"How are you?"

"Alright."

"I'm glad we found you. It was scary..."

"I'm really glad you guys found me, too. It got worse, once the doctors were here... I don't know how bad I might have hurt myself. It was LSD."

"I figured. It was hard to tell, but it _did_ look like a bad acid trip, eventually."

"Yeah. The doctors are surprised that I'm not having flashbacks yet. It's delayed, or something."

"Your arms are all scratched." he commented quietly.

"Yeah, it stings a bit."

"Naomi... I wanted to tell you... Sandy left..."

"Of her own free will?" I asked, maybe a little harsher than I meant to.

"Yes, and no. I decided... I wanted her to leave... but she was already gone, I just didn't know..."

"But... Marie..."

"Is safe at home. I don't care that she's not my daughter by blood. That doesn't matter anymore."

"But... why? Why make Sandy leave?"

"Naomi... you gave me the choice. Choose Sandy or you. So..." he shrugged, "I chose you. I need you. I _love_ you."

I turned my head away and squeezed my eyes shut, willing the tears not to come.

"Soda... look at me. I'm a mess. I'm scarred, I'm bleeding, and I'm all bandaged up. I'm going to have flashbacks and nightmares and everything bad. I'm a wreck, and I've suffered through something that I wouldn't even wish on Sandy. And you... you're tired, and you look like you've been through hell. We both have. And do you know why?"

"Why..."

"Because we've both been stupid enough to wait on each other."

"No, Naomi, it's not-"

"I mean it. We're only hurting each other."

"But there's nothing left to hurt!"

"That's what I thought yesterday." I replied sourly, "Listen, Soda. I love you, I really do, but it took you so long, and I suffered so much. We're still young, we'll find the right people."

"Naomi, I'm sorry it took so long-"

"Me too." I said, shaking my head, "But that doesn't make it alright. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to hurt _you_ anymore."

"Naomi, _please_." He looked so sad right then. I sighed deeply.

"Look. We're even hurting each other now... I just wish things could be like they were last winter."

"They will be." He said, and I raised aneyebrow skeptically.

"What?"

"It is going to be like last winter." He cracked a grin. I thought for a second, and shook my head.

"No, Soda, it's different. There's not a chance anymore..."

"That's what you said last year." He was grinning manically now.

"Oh, come on, you know what I mean. It can't work anymore. It just... _can't_."

"_Sure_," he said, getting up to leave, "_Sure_ it can't."

What the _hell_ is with him, I thought as he left, I flat out denied him, _while_ lying in a hospital bed recovering froman acid trip that was the fault of his wife - ex wife, soon - and he got all excited and started to think that he could win me over just like he did last time... I guess getting clear of Sandy gave him back that old ability to be optimistic in the worst situations...

_That's why I love him, _I thought with a smirk.

_Wait. _My head was suddenly clear... Why the _hell _did I send him away? I could deal with being hurt again, as long as he didn't leave me!

I was about to call for a nurse to stop him leaving, when I thought better of it.

_Alright, _I thought, _I'll play the game. Let's see where he decides to go with it. _


	19. Playing Nurse

**Hopefully, the story will be taking a turn for the happier... it's been a tad dark for the better part, and I'm starting to tire of it... I'm quite fickle. I have no idea how much longer this story will be. Several chapters, but it should bemore than half way done, at least. **

**Here's a quick little update ... :-) Sorry about the shortness...**

**

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The flashbacks started on my first night. It was scary... it almost felt like I was tripping all over again, and I thought for a crazy second that someone had laced my food. My dreams were almost as bad, but they weren't quite as real. I had a bit of comfort upon waking up to find that my face _wasn't _being eaten by a giant grasshopper, or something of the likes, only to fall back into flashbacks in a few minutes.

But when I finally was released from the hospital, to return home with my parents, I wasn't sure whether or not to be surprised that Sodapop was waiting with them. He was chatting quite animatedly with my father, about something or other. I think it had to do with cars... I knew that Soda had a good knowledge about cars, working with them all the time, and my father secretly loved any model from the fourties, when he was young...er. I was glad to see them getting along.

Soda jumped up, and ran over to me.

"Here," he said, in that eager, breathless voice, "I brought you some flowers!"

_Why am I putting this guy off, again?_

I accepted them with a smile that I couldn't hide... his happiness was coming back full swing with Sandy gone. I wanted to ask about Marie, but I didn't want to put a damper on his mood incase there was bad news.

"Here, I'll help you!" He insisted, as soon as we came to a step down.

"I'm fine," I said, laughing, "It's not my legs that are hurting."

But he still insisted on helping me into the car, and Dad actually insisted that he come along with us, after he said he'd be okay walking home. That surprised me, seeing as his house is a decent distance from the hospital. Probably, he didn't want to come on too strong... shame he didn't know that he didn't actually have to 'Win me over.'

* * *

**Adam's POV (Oh yeah, you all thought he was done, didn't you:-P)**

"What?" I stared in disbelief at my professor.

"I'm sorry, Adam, and believe me, this has never happened before. But it's exactly as it stands... Tabitha MacHallet was our only teacher for that course, and no one else has the time-"

"This college is going to close soon if this keeps up..."

"And if it does, we'll be in a horrible position. Right now, though, we only have one choice."

"What?"

"You'll have to switch to another university. I believe that you're from the Tulsa area?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you're in luck. There's a local college that offers the course, and they contacted us as soon as they heard of Tabitha's passing. They're willing to take on up to twenty new students. If you sign up, you'll be number seven."

"When would I leave?"

"You'll be back in Tulsa in a week."

"I'll do it."

* * *

**Naomi's POV**

"So, she's really happy. I think you should meet her, she'd like you. I think it'd be a good idea for her to meet as many good people as she can, because I don't know what kind of influence Sandy had on her..."

Soda was chattering happily about Marie, who was still living with him, and I was listening contentedly with a half smile on my face.

"Hey, Naomi..."

"Yeah?"

"Remember how you said you wanted it to be like last winter?"

"I couldn't very well forget."

"Well... is it?"

"Yeah, actually. If the flashbacks would stop, I think it would be really similar."

"So... you know how last year, I kept asking you if you changed your mind?"

I grinned. "If you were close to me, I'd hit you." As it was, I was sitting down and wasn't feeling up to moving.

"I'll move." He walked over and sat beside me so that I could punch his arm.

"I'm tired." I announced, yawning.

"Do you want to move? Or can you sleep there? Or-"

"You know, Soda, you'd make a good nurse. No, I'm fine. You should go home now, Marie hasn't seen you all day."

"Well... okay... take care..."

"I'm fine, don't worry!"

As he walked out the door, I sighed contentedly. Things were going so nice.

I probably should have taken this as a sign that problems would surface very soon...


	20. More Adam and More Chaos

**... I'm back! With an update that should have been up a while ago. But hey, better late than never. **

**Uh... I'm having computer problems at the moment and can't come up with a divider. Dammit.**

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I thought that I was starting to get a view of how far Soda would go trying to win me over. Really, it was endearing. He was treating me better then anyone I ever remembered. However, there was one thing that I hadn't anticipated, and it happened on March 4th, 1969.

A knock at the door roused me from my sleep.

"Mom, you get it." I called, placing my pillow over my head. I heard Sodapop's eager voice.

"No, Mrs. Sterling, it's alright, I'll answer it."

Did I mention he was even starting to grow on my mother? Now _that_ was talent.

"Hi," he said, "Come... in..." I noticed his voice trailing away. I silently wondered who could possibly be at the door that would make him take on that tone of voice.

"Hi, I'm looking for Naomi," I sat bolt upright as I recognized Adam's voice, "Are you her...cousin?"

"No, I'm her _friend_."

"Oh... well, I'm Adam."

"I _know_ who you are."

There was a silence, which was, for me, filled with my own thoughts... _Go away, Adam, go away, go away, go away..._

"Well... what's your name?"

"Sodapop."

"Oh... Naomi told me about you."

"Did she?"

"Yep."

"Alright then."

"Okay."

"Nay," My mom poked her head in my door, "there's a boy here to see you."

I resigned myself to walking downstairs to see Adam. His eyes lit up when he saw me.

"Hey, Naomi!" He rushed forwards to hug me, and over his shoulder I could see Sodapop raising an eyebrow. I responded by shrugging.

"Hi, Adam." He stepped back for a minute, and furrowed his brow, "Are you sick?"

"Yeah, I'm getting better, though." Not as though he needed to know about everything.

"Okay, and - hey! I almost forgot, why didn't you tell me you went to LAPA?"

"Didn't I?"

"You mentioned a British performing school, but not which one."

"Oh, sorry... hang on, how did you find out?"

He laughed, "My cousin goes there!"

"And... you were talking to your cousin about me?"

"No, no, I saw the program from one of the productions, and you were in it!"

"_Oklahoma_?"

"Yeah, that!"

"Cool. So... who's your cousin?"

"Jon Harris."

Now Sodapop laughed freely, and just as it seemed he was done... he started up. I don't think I've ever heard him laugh like that.

"You know him, Naomi?" Adam asked, ignoring Soda's hysterical laughter.

"You could say that," Soda quipped, leaning against my shoulder.

"Hey, is he home?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Why don't you invite him over? I'd love to talk with him again."

Here Soda stopped laughing.

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"Hey, Jon!" I was genuinely excited to see him. I had thought alot of things about him over the past few years, but now I considered him an old friend, the same way I looked at Hannah and Ashley.

"Hey, Naomi!" He semi imitated my greeting, but I didn't mind. "Hi, Sodapop," They shook hands, and the maturity of their greeting really got to me. It was funny. He nodded briefly at Adam, and sat down on the couch.

"So, how were things at LAPA since I left?"

"Pretty good, we put on_ Orpheus Descending, Annie Get Your Gun,_ and _Kiss Me Kate_. You remember Charlotte and Joanne?"

"Uh, _yeah_, they were my roommates, not to mention Pony and Soda incarnate. What about them?"

"Well, Charlotte was _Lady_ in _Orpheus Descending,_ and Joanne lead in _Annie Get Your Gun_."

"Uh... okay, here comes my Opera knowledge, and if I'm mistaken there, then it could be my bookwormish ways from my early teens... is _Orpheus Descending_, like, _the_ Orpheus story?"

"Uh... I guess so..."

"Well, then, couldn't they have just used _Eurydice_ instead of _Lady_?"

"Uh..."

"I mean, _Orpheus _and _Eurydice _sounds so much better than _Orpheus _and _Lady -" _

"Actually, it's Val and Lady-"

I groaned. "What are they trying to do, make us Opera buffs kill ourselves?"

"More than likely."

"I mean, they even made the cute little 'Dicey and Orpus' legend!" I covered my face with my hands, and then looked up, "So, Jon... any girlfriends?" I grinned wickedly.

"Uh... well... me and... Joanne..."

"Are going out? Jon, that's great! Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! Oh, I'm so happy for you-"

"It was two dates, don't get crazy-"

"OH my GOSH! Jon and Joanne! That's AWESOME!"

"Whoa, girl." Sodapop commented, "Calm down."

"So, Naomi, any plans for the future?"

"A few," I admitted, "I've recorded an album, which should be out soon, but after LAPA, I'd kill to perform on Broadway, but part of me still wants to be an Opera star... and if none of that works, I'll teach music in school."

"It'll work," Soda said confidently.

"_Thank you_, Soda." I said appreciatively. He grinned proudly, and Adam glared at him. Jon took in the exchange, and looked at me, then looked at Adam, then, Soda, and at me. I looked at Soda, and back at him, and he looked at Adam, and at me, and I scrunched up my nose. He nodded.

"I see." He said wisely.

"See what?" Adam and Soda chorused.

"Nothing." Jon and I lied.

"You want help?" Jon asked.

"For what?"

"Getting rid of bugs that you don't need."

"Could you?"

"Yep."

"Please tell me what's going on!" Soda sounded desperate. I smiled.

"Nothing you need to worry about."

"Great."

"I'm serious, don't worry. _Trust_ me."

"Alright... you're an angel, Naomi."

I smirked. "So they tell me."

"Well, I mean it."

One look at Adam told me that if looks could kill, Soda would be dead on the spot.

"Well, I'm a little tired. I need some rest. See you guys later."

I was at the bottom of the stairs when a sudden flashback overcame me.

_Brilliant, _I thought, _Just perfect..._

It wasn't long before I began to scream. My mother was at my side in an instant... I think that the acid trip convinced her to be a better mother, althought most parents don't need drug complications to realize they love their kid.

"Naomi," She called, "Honey, no!" She held my hands away from my face, and I tried desperately to pull them back. It seemed that every time I had a flashback, I tried to scratch my face again. No one had let me so far.

Soda came flying into the room, where my mother was getting hysterical.

"She won't snap out of it! Oh God, she's sick! I'm a horrible mother!"

"Calm down, you're a great Mom, she just needs time!" He took me from my mother's arms, and spoke quietly into my ear.

"_Calm down, Naomi... it's alright..."_

I slowly began to calm. I was still nervous, but my common sense overcame it. Hellish though the flashback was, my mind was clear.

"What the hell?" Adam and Jon were at the doorway.

"Nothing," I said, my voice shaky, holding on to Soda for dear life.

"Naomi-"

"Listen, man," Jon said, tapping Adam's shoulder, "She said nothing. If she wanted to tell you, she'd tell you. Otherwise, it's none of your business. She has people to take care of it."

Adam looked desperately at his cousin, and shook his head.

"Alright. I have to go. Jon, you need a lift?"

"Do I ever," Jon grinned, "See y'all around."

"See you guys." Adam said, heading out the door.

"Bye, Jon!" Soda and I said in unison, waving.


	21. The Jewel Song

**Hello all. I'm back with another chapter... and I officially know how this story will end... well, roughly. I know _for_ _sure_ what Naomi's career will be, at least. **

**I asked this on my other story update, but I'll ask it again... out of pure curiosity, how old are you all?**

**And these xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx are my page dividers, should I need them.**

"Naomi, why don't you sing for us?" My uncle Timmy called, taking another hearty drink of his beer. It was our winter family gathering, and I was targetted for singing, as usual.

"Oh, yes, Starling," Aunt Pauline agreed, using my Dad's nickname which was created with the use of my last name (Sterling) and the fact that I used to get up and sing and dance as a little kid, hence I was a little Star... A Starling, or it could also be contrived by 'The Star Sterling' or 'The Sterling Star'. My Dad had a few explanations."Why don't you?"

"Alright." I smoothed out my dress as I stood, noticing that my uncle's dog Finnigan had covered the red material in black hairs. I strode confidently to the front of the room, not nervous at all of the people in front of me. Normally I would be, but by now... I was immune to these people. They were so easily amused... they liked anything I sang. Maybe I got a bit headstrong around them, but hey, that was _their_ fault.

"What should I sing?"

"How about one of your Grampy's songs?" Timmy called, raising an eyebrow. I wondered how drunk he was.

"Alright. I'll sing... _The Mermaid." _I remembered how I'd struggled with it when I was young, trying to sing at the exact range as Grampy... I wasn't very apt at telling the difference between soprano and tenor.

"So... I'll start..." I trailed off absently as my mother walked out of the room. God damn, she was never happy with me...

At that moment, I realized that I was never happy with her. I was going to be eighteen next October... and I would have to start making sacrifices for others, even the ones that seemed unfair. I might as well start now.

"Actually, I'm going to sing _The Jewel Song_ from _Faust. _I don't know if you know it... but I like it."

I cleared my throat and began to sing the english translations of the originally french lyrics. I didn't think they sounded as nice, for some reason, but otherwise no one would understand a word I was saying.

"_Ah, I laugh to see myself so beautiful in this mirror!  
Ah, I laugh to see myself so beautiful in this mirror!  
Is it you, Marguerite, is it you?  
Answer me, answer me,  
Respond, respond, respond quickly!  
No, No! It's no longer you!  
No, no, it's not longer your face!  
It's the daughter of a king!"_

I paused to breathe, and I heard my mother's voice in the doorway, using a tone that I'd long forgotten she had.

"Naomi," she said, with a hint of teasing to her voice, "What are you doing, singing in English? You have such a well developed French accent from Shirley's lessons, don't let it go to waste."

I just smiled and nodded, not sure what to say...

I had my Mom back.

So I just replied in the easiest (And nicest sounding way possible).

_"Ah! je ris de me voir si belle en ce miroir,  
Ah! je ris de me voir si belle en ce miroir,  
Est-ce toi, Marguerite, est-ce toi?  
Réponds-moi, réponds-moi,  
Réponds, réponds, réponds vite!  
Non! Non! ce n'est plus toi!  
Non, non, ce n'est plus ton visage!  
C'est la fille d'un roi!"_

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I was sleeping soundly on the couch - I was recovered enough to not have to sleep all day, but during my time down I found that I rather liked the occasional nap - when suddenly a wet hand against my cheek awoke me. I opened my eyes quickly to see two large blue eyes peering into mine, followed by a peal of high pitched laughter.

"Not now, Marie, Naomi's sleepy..." I murmured, yawning. Her response was to lick her palm, and press it against my cheek again.

"Kisses!" She informed me. I wondered how long she'd been giving me kisses - or rather, wiping her spit on my cheek - while I was sleeping.

"That's nice." I closed my eyes again.

"_Seep_?" She asked innocently.

"Yes, Marie, I'm going to sleep."

"Huh." She climbed up on the couch beside me and squished herself into my arms, and I couldn't help but notice how much her hair looked like mine... large blonde curls... she'd have a hell of a time with her hair when she was older...

"Night," She slurred, her face pressed against my neck.

"Goodnight, Marie." I was almost asleep, when I heard her tiny little voice mutter...

"G'night, Mama."

I could've cursed like a sailor right then... but all that adult discretion allowed me to do was to squeeze my eyes closed and mouth unsavory words.

"No, honey, I'm not your Mama..."

"Yeh."

"No, I'm not. I'm _Naomi_."

She was silent, and a wise look of comprehension came over her face.

"_Mama_ Nomi."

I covered my face with my hand for a second, and looked up to see Marie doing the same thing. I laughed, ableit uncomfortably, and she did the same.

_Well, _I thought, _It's a good thing I _didn't_ curse... _

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Soon, though, we had to look at some serious things. Sandy wanted full custody of Marie, because Soda wasn't her real father. The police had taken Star in, and she was in a fair bit of trouble for drugging me.

We came up with the idea to get Star to tell the court about Sandy's drug habits, and how she'd put Star up to giving me the LSD... but so far, it seemed, Star's need to protect everyone and everything, using whatever strange means she could, was putting a damper on our ability to talk with her.

I was going to see her the next week, and bringing Marie with me. I could only hope that this would go over well, otherwise Marie would be in a pretty bad situation...

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**Hi again all. I'm just here to tell you that I don't know much about court systems (and rightfully so) and therefore the proceedings for Sandy and Sodapop's divorce, as well as Star's drugging Naomi might be a little inaccurate.**

**And now... let's see if we can hit 80 reviews. (Hint, Hint :-P ) **


	22. Difficult

**I haven't planned this chapter _at all_, so I'm just gonna start typing and see where it goes. I apologize in advance if it totally bombs. **

_"_Hi, Naomi." Star looked happy to see me... well, as happy as one can look when one is being held in custody for possession of illegal drugs and for drugging somebody else. She was lucky we didn't send her my hospital bills.

"Hi, Star." I remained as impersonal as I could while talking to somone who used to be my friend.

"Marie's with you?"

"Yeah. She's really happy. Actually, she's starting to think I'm her mother."

"What will Sandy think about that?"

I cleared my throat. I wasn't altogether comfortable with the new position that Marie had given me as her 'Mama', but I really needed to have Star think I was.

"That's the thing. Sandy was on drugs, you know that. She wasn't the most suitable mother-"

"She was a _good_ mother."

"Star, there's more to being a good mother than just loving your child."

"Really? Well, _please_, elaborate for me, since you're obviously an expert."

For once, I thought I might have just had a glimpse of the real Star - what she was like before drugs messed her up.

"Sandy loves Marie, and I'm sure that she'll accept her, but she can't provide for her, she doesn't know how to raise her, and she'll be a bad influence on her. What if Sandy was all alone with Marie, and she took a bad trip? Or if she OD's and no one finds her?"

"That's not enough evidence to say she's a bad mother."

"Star, she's not a _bad_ mother. She's just not a _suitable_ mother. She can't raise Marie, plain and simple. Now," I cut Star off as she tried to interrupt, "Take _my_ mother. She knows how to discipline, she can provide for me. She knows what she wants me to achieve, and she knows how to help me achieve it. She loves her daughter, and would do anything to make her daughters future bright and promising. But, she can't accept somethings. She couldn't accept that my future could be bright and promising without doing exactly what she wanted me to do. So, I realized that as long as we were both stubborn and refusing to compromise, we'd never get anywhere."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm getting along better with my Mom now, because I was the bigger person. I'm going to audition for a role in an opera in Texas-"

"Where?"

"The Grand Opera House. It's in Galveston."

Star blinked. I sighed.

"It's close to Santa Fe."

"Okay... when?"

"In May, but that's not-"

"What opera?"

"_Carmen_, but would you _listen_! I'm giving it a chance, and if it doesn't work, then I get to do what I want. We have a compromise, and I initiated it. Now tell me... what would Sandy have done?"

Star sighed.

"She wouldn't have cooperated."

"Exactly. This little girl," I indicated to the baby on my lap, "Will be going to Sandy, away from the two people who could actually care for her, if you don't testify."

Star shook her head. "I'll think about it."

"Good." I got up to leave, then turned back.

"Oh, Star?"

"Yeah?"

"Actually _think_ about it."

She looked insulted, but once her eyes locked with mine, she realized how serious I was.

"You've never been through withdrawl." The ghost of a smirk passed her lips.

"Not of the drug kind, at least." I held Marie close as I left that horrible building.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

As I sat in my room, I realized how badly my upper register had suffered the past year. I'd rarely used it... I realized while singing for my family, but now that I was actually practicing for a real role in a real opera house, it was painfully obvious.

History was repeating itself to some extreme. Everything had come full circle, after I was sure I'd given up opera for good, here I was rehearsing for an audition... at the Grand Opera, no less! And I was thoroughly enjoying it. Maybe I'd just gone through a phase, or something...

I cleared my throat, and began to sing, trying not to notice how my soprano wasn't as clear as it once was. I was singing the part of Micaëla, which was a soprano's part, and trying not to imagine the horiffied patrons as they listened to me...

_"Je dis que rien ne m'épouvante,   
Je dis, hélas! que je réponds de moi;  
Mais j'ai beau faire la vaillante..."_

"Naomi," my mother's voice was in my doorway. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not trying to sound critical... but, your voice needs to be trained up a bit more. You haven't used your upper register for a long time, I assume."

"No, I haven't..."

"Maybe you should try audtioning for a mezzo-soprano?"

"What?"

"It's just barely lower than a soprano-"

"Mom, I _know_ what it is, but _why_?"

"Your voice might not be up to par by the audition."

"You're right," I murmured, "But what part should I try?"

"How about the part of Carmen herself?"

I swallowed nervously. Lovely... another load on my shoulders. On top of all the court procedings for Star, Sandy and Marie, and getting caught up in school and graduating, I was now going out for the title role in an opera in one of the most prestigous opera houses in the South...

Well, _this_ would be interesting.

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"Hey, Curtis."

Sodapop turned around from where he had been sitting with Marie. Naomi had dropped her off from seeing Star about an hour earlier, and she was full of energy, so he decided to sit outside with her.

"Adam," he acknowledged, "What do you want?"

"I want to know what's going on with you and Naomi."

"And I want to know why it matters to you."

"Man," Adam raised an eyebrow, "You really want to make things difficult, don't you? Well, then, we'll see just how _difficult_ we can make things."


	23. One Problem Solved

**My story planning just doesn't go where I want it to... it seems I'll have a rough five chapters left... now I'll have to knock on wood... anyhoo, pointless chapter ahoy!**

"Hey, Naomi," Jon smiled cheerfully, leaning against the fence, "How's it going?"

"Great," I brushed my hair out of my eyes, "Look, it's nice to see you and all, Jon, but -"

"Oh, you're busy. That's fine, I just -"

"No, I'm not busy at all, I'm just wondering what you're doing in my neighbour's yard."

"Oh... that... well, I could've walked through _your_ house, but I doubt your Mum would've been pleased, so I just trespassed on your neighbour's lawn."

"Couldn't just knock?"

"Nah. Listen, I just came by to tell you... in case you wanted to know... that as I passed by the Curtis residence today, just by chance, I happened to see my cousin and your lover going at each other's throats."

A year ago, I would've panicked and run straight home to break up the fight. However, today I raised an eyebrow.

"_What_ did you just call Soda?"

"Don't remember."

"My _lover_?"

Jon looked offended.

"I did nothing of the sort! Why don't you come help me break it up before one of them gets charged for first degree homicide?"

I stretched and walked towards the front yard, Jon following on the far side of the fence. "Second, you mean."

"Nope. I mean first. Killing has been on both of their minds for a while now."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, let's not let them kill each other yet."

**xXxXxXxXxXx**

Breaking up the fight hadn't been hard. All it took was a few words of unimpression at their lack of maturity on my part, and some laughing on Jon's, for them to feel completely ridiculous.

As much as I don't want to blame anyone, I can see it was obviously Adam's fault. Marie had been outside with Soda, and Adam must have approached him. It looked like Soda was just pushing him away, rather than coming on offensively, which I could only expect when his daughter was watching.

"Man," Jon said, sitting beside me and rubbing Marie's head, to which she responded with a giggle, "Someday, I _swear_ I'm gonna get a bunch of girls to fight over me."

"Gonna pay them?"

"If I have to."

"I can't believe Adam would actually approach Soda and pick a fight with him," I said slowly, "I mean, Marie was right here!"

"Adam's not a rational guy. Listen, he's my cousin. We're close, we're friends and all... but he can be a real ass. You're better off without him... but don't tell him I said that, or he'll pick a fight with me too, and I'm no fighter. I'm the stage actor pansey man. So... save my ass and keep quiet, alright?"

"Alright. Hey, Marie, no, that's not food," I pulled a flower out of her tiny hand before it made it's way into her stomach, "Do you think-"

My question was cut off halfway by the sound of a crash coming from the kitchen.

"Son of a _bitch_," Jon cursed, rolling his eyes, "Adam musta took another swing at Sodapop..."

"We can only hope it was in that order," I muttered, "Marie, lets take you upstairs."

"Sonna bish." She replied, grinning. My mouth dropped open in horror, and, turning to face Jon, saw he had a similar expression on his face.

"Oh no.. ooooh no..."

"Maybe she won't repeat it again," I squeaked, and said in a calmer voice, "Marie, listen to me. _Never_ say that again, alright?"

"Sonna bish?" she asked

"_No_, Marie, I _don't_ want to hear that-"

"What's your problem?" I heard Soda yell in the kitchen, and Jon and I rushed in.

"Oh my gosh, Soda, your _eye_!" I gasped, turning Marie away, lest she be frightened by the black eye Adam had inflicted on Sodapop's person.

"Nice bruise," Jon commented calmly, "And Adam, that's a pretty groovy swollen nose. Kudos to you both."

"Jon, not _now_," I scolded, trying not to laugh at his analysis of the situation, "Take Marie upstairs, she probably needs a nap. Adam..." I shook my head and sighed, "Get the _hell_ out of here. _Now_."

He didn't hesitate to follow my command. I turned to Sodapop, who was holding his hand to his eye.

"I... I'm really..." I sighed, flinging my hands up in resignation, "I can't even apologize properly. Glory, I never thought that Adam would do something so stupid, and with Marie right there, too! He was so nice when I first met him, but like Jon said, he can be an asshole-"

"Listen, it's not your fault-"

"Yes, it is! I shouldn't have even let Adam get close to me at Christmas. I should've been doing other things, like rehersing for the opera that I'm not going to have the proper range for!"

"Naomi, it's fine. It's just as much my fault as it is yours, and the opera thing... your range isn't completely gone."

"Not completely, but my upper register is out of practice, and that's one stroke against me. Everyone else there will have a great, seasoned, perfect voice, but mine hasn't been properly used for a _really long time_!"

"Naomi, calm down!" Soda looked slightly perplexed at my growing anxiety.

"I'd calm down if I could, but it's all just hitting me now! What if I have a flashback onstage! That'd ruin the whole opera for everyone! And... seriously, I doubt that too many seventeen year olds are there!"

"You're probably a bit young, but-"

"A bit? My vocal chords aren't even completely developed yet! Maybe I should just audition for a musical, the range could be slightly lower..."

"You're going in circles... opera, musicals, modern, opera again, now you're on musicals again..."

"Well, I can't help it! I have _no_ idea what I want to do!"

His response to that was just to hug me. Damn myself for enjoying it...


	24. Explanations

_"None of us can choose where we will love."  
- _From _Phantom _by Susan Kay

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I picked up the letter to read it in it's entirety. I had written it for Adam, because I felt that I owed him at least an explanation. I'd lured him into this whole thing, and he'd actually responded in the only way I could expect... which was defensively. Through the whole thing, I'd been less than forthcoming with information about how I got into the situation, so I decided to write him a letter, and give it to Jon. I didn't want any run-ins with him, if I could help it.

_Dear Adam_, it read,

_Well, by now I'm sure that you've realized how deep a situation you got into... or rather, that_ I _got you into. If you don't want to read this, okay. You have every right to hate me for involving you in this little drama. But I'll tell you my story in it's entirety, and you can judge me all you want... but not 'til you've read it. _

My parents are opera buffs. They love it all, and if I might put in some personal information, my Mom's favorite is Faust_, while my Dad's favorite is _Carmen_. It seems that a child is influenced by whatever they grow up with, so I wanted to be an opera star. I wanted to travel the world, and sing all through America and Canada, and if I could get to Europe, I'd go to Paris, Italy, Spain... anywhere. But my main focus was London. _

Up until I was fifteen, things were great. Through a series of teachers, and some lessons from my parents, my voice was developing rapidly, and impressively, I might add. But as my second best teacher Shirley taught me, the feeling makes the music. I say that she was my second best, because my best teacher was the first person ever to make me feel it. His name was Harvey Sterling Sr, and he was my Grampy. I know I mentioned to you that we shared a love of music... but I never told you how deep. He was he only person who ever taught me music that was out of what my parents wanted. He focused on Atlantic Canada traditional music. He made me love it.

_When he died, the music died. Call me corny, call me dramatic, but it's true. He died January 1966, and music started to lose the fun. I was still getting better, and my hopes were getting higher, but it wasn't the same. Not long after his death, my cousin Travis came to live with Grammy, and keep her company. He was taking some home cooking over to Grammy's friends on the east side of town, and on the way back, he was beaten up by a gang of greasers. That's where I started to hate them... no, actually, I didn't hate them, I feared them. But I was such a headstrong, preppy kid, that I told myself I hated them, rather than admit they scared me._

_Mom was trying to bring back the enthusiasm that I was losing, and got me a chance to sing in a nice church... what we didn't realize was that it was in hoodlum territory, for lack of a better word. That was when I realized that I didn't hate them... I was scared. And I didn't want to go. But I knew it might be good for me, so I went. I had no idea what I was doing then. I still wonder, sometimes, what life would be like if I hadn't gone to that church. It would be completely different, that's for sure._

_Ponyboy, Sodapop, Steve and Two-Bit were there, I'm sure you've heard me talk about them. Their friend Johnny, who died, was with them as well. In the middle of my performance, they were goofing around, and Steve dropped a hymn book... It shouldn't have hacked me off as much as it did, but I was mad. Afterwards, Ponyboy came to apologize. It was then that I realized they might be human after all._

_I didn't hear anything of them for a while, and I doubt I would have... but my friend Ashley dared me to go to a record store in their part of town, and buy a record, to prove I wasn't afraid. I was in there for a few minutes when Ponyboy came up to say Hi to me. I confessed what I was doing, and he told me that not everyone on the east side was bad. I believed him. He recommended Neil Diamond... one of my favorite artists today. I'd never listened to this music before, so I took his word for it. _

_When we heard two of his friends died, I convinced Ashley to come with me to give our condolonces. I'd just lost Grampy, and I knew how he felt. Around this time, things between Mom and me were falling apart... slowly, but surely. I was still a little kid, in some ways. I'd just take her condenscending attitude, and whine about it. _

_My Mom signed me up for voice lessons with her friend Shirley, to prepare me for a concert I was going to be in the following February. It was September... my sixteenth birthday was that October. October 11th, actually. That's something else I never told you. _

_We couldn't find Ponyboy... we had no idea where. We stopped at a gas station... only to run into Steve, who I recognized as 'They Guy Who Dropped the Book'. I confronted him about it, and made myself look stupid, only to have to return, and ask him where to find Pony. He wouldn't tell me, rather told us to wait for Sodapop to show us. It made me angry at the time, but I guess I really owe him now. I won't elaborate on how things were between me and Soda, I know you don't want details. But we got on good. I really liked him, you know that. _

_On Christmas Eve, Ashley confessed to me that she had feelings for Soda... I hadn't told her yet how I felt. We were going to their house for a bit, and I was bringing my guitar. I was pretty cold towards her that night, and she ended up leaving in a huff. Soda came out on the front porch and talked to me for a bit... he ended up kissing me right as Ashley came back. She got mad, and threw my guitar. _

_When I got home, I called her and apologized... I didn't think it was worth losing a good friend over a guy. My guitar wasn't damaged that bad, and we made up on two conditions - I had to end everything with Soda, and help Ashley get back in his good books. That was one of the hardest things I'd ever done in my life, to look him in the eye and tell him I didn't have feelings for him. I had to come up with an excuse... I had to say there was someone else. The very first person who came to mind was Jon, by some strange fluke. _

_The next little while was interesting, to say the least. I had meant to keep it quiet, since it wasn't true, but Sodapop told Jon... and it turns out he had wanted to date me for a while, but I didn't return his feelings. Unfortunately, I had to pretend to. It was mean of me, to lead him on, but in the long run, I gained a good friend._

_I found out that, through my concert in February, I could get a scholarship to a musical school in London. I'd have to leave everything behind... including Sodapop. Jon was in the same running as I was. Sometime in there, the music came back. I got my motivation back... and I have Sodapop, Shirley and Jon to thank for it, and also, someone who anonymously gave me an electric guitar. The concert came and went... before I knew it, I was at the train station, ready to leave for London. I figured I had nothing to lose, so I told Sodapop how I felt. I thought, at the time, that I wouldn't see him again until I was nineteen. And then he kissed me, right infront of my parents, and my friends, and told me to go chase my dream. _

_I think I changed alot in London. I matured. My mother requested that all contact be cut off from my friends, including Sodapop... which led us both to think the other stopped caring. Mom wanted me to concentrate on my music... she thought that my friends in Tulsa were influencing me to take up other music, other than opera and classical, but it was a personal choice. In that time, Sodapop's old girlfriend Sandy got in contact with him. She had left him not long before I met him, telling him she was pregnant with the baby of another man. He wanted to marry her anyway, but she refused, and went to live with her Grandmother. When her Grandmother got sick, though, she wrote Soda, telling him that she lied, and she baby was his. Marie wasn't born yet, at that point. Soda accepted her, because he thought that any chance of a life with me was hopeless._

_I left London a few months later, only to find that Sodapop and Sandy had already gotten married. It all came out, with the letters, and my mother, and we both knew now that the other still cared, but Soda had a responsibility. He needed to look after his daughter... assuming she was his. _

_After a lot of going back and forth, I finally told Soda he needed to choose. And he didn't really tell me... I assumed he'd choose Sandy. It was only rational. I started hanging out in the park with the hippies... that's where I met Star. She was really nice, but always high. I decided that I didn't need anyone... that I could harden myself, and not care, so therefore, I couldn't hurt..._

_Sandy was still cheating on Soda, though, and Soda got a paternity test... Marie wasn't his, but he wanted to raise her anyway. I told him that she was cheating on him, and she was on drugs... and I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, he'd choose me now. I really loved him, Adam. I still do. And he did choose me... but Sandy got some guy to call me at home (I'd moved in with Ashley when things got really bad with Mom) and tell me that he was Soda, choosing Sandy over me. My facade cracked, and I knew that no one could harden themselves against caring... the same thing happened with one of Soda's friends, but I never thought... anyway, Star found me, and took me to her house. We were alone, and she put acid in my drink. I've never done drugs in my life, and this one time, the first and only time, I had a bad trip._

_It was the scariest experience of my life. You'll never understand it until it's happened. I'd explain it, but please understand that I'm just not able to. Not so soon afterwards. Sodapop and Ashley came for me, and took me to the hospital. Star and Sandy are currently in custody. That's what the scars are from, the bummer. And when I started to freak out by the staircase... I had just had a flashback. _

_It's currently in the air, whether Sandy will get Marie, or Sodapop and I get to keep her. If Star will testify against Sandy, we've gotten the thing in the bag._

_I haven't told Soda yet that I want to have a relationship with him, or how much I love him. I'm just really... hesitant. So, now that I've gotten this all out to you, I feel a little more free._

_I'm telling him as soon as I get your reply. _

_Please understand that I can't choose who I love. I'm sorry I couldn't return your feelings. I tried, I really did. I tried so hard to hate Soda and to love you, but it didn't work at all. At seventeen, I'm pretty sure I've found the love of my life. A greaser, a hoodlum... someone I once feared. "Fear can turn to love," they say. Well, I guess it did. I can only hope you find a girl who will love you the way I love Soda._

_Only now, that I've given my side, can you judge me. If you've read it, I can only hope you understand._

_Love,_

_Naomi Sterling_

It had been exerting to write... but it was done. I'd mail it right away.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

I hadn't expected to get a call from the authorities, but they said that Star had requested to see me. She'd been in custody for a while now... I wondered what could have brought this about.

"Naomi," she said, as I sat down, and the way she said my name wa different, somehow. She sounded... older.

"Star."

"How are you?" I realized her voice had lost the dream-like quality it always had. She sounded business-like.

"I'm pretty good. Flashbacks are going down, and all." I said it as harshly as I could. She only nodded.

"Mine took a year. Maybe you're lucky."

"_What_?"

"I've been in here a while, Naomi, without my smack. Withdrawl is as bad as a bad LSD trip, but it's over. I'm almost clear-minded now. I can freely tell you this stuff. When I was thirteen, my cousin gave me a sugarcube. It was laced, of course, but I was too naive to know. I went through _everything_ you've gone through, and more. If I hadn't been so damn _fried_, I wouldn't have listened to Sandy. You'll never know how sorry I am... and this is the second time I've been in this year, I don't know what'll happen to me. My life won't be too great... and considering how that makes me feel like _shit_, I refuse to let anyone else's life be ruined, or made miserable. Especially the life of someone who was once my friend, and who I've already put through hell, or the life of someone who's stuck beside her through the whole thing. I definately refuse to chance that a child could be raised by a drug addict mother... who isn't even a _good_ mother." Here she looked at me significantly, "I won't ruin your lives. Marie can't grow up to be like me or Sandy, and if Sandy raises her, she will. I'm going to testify in court against Sandy."

Her mouth broke into a thin smile as I squealed delightedly.

"Naomi, your eyes are really _yellow_, you know?"

"So they tell me," I said, grinning, "Oh... I get my little girl!" Suddenly my smile dropped, "Star... if you testify, you'll have to tell them that you did drugs as well... and that you drugged me... you'll get in so much trouble!"

"I'll get what I deserve." She said solemnly.

"But... but look at you! No drugs... you're a changed person! You could do so much!"

"And all for what?" She interupted me, "If I keep quiet, I could get out, and continue with my life. What of Marie? Condemned to live the life that _I _lied my way out of."

"So... you'll give it all up..."

"No, Naomi. Either Marie or myself will have a hard life, and the choice is mine. I choose a good life for Marie, because it's the right way. By telling the truth, we both get what we deserve. If I lie, or say nothing, we both get something we don't deserve."

"Which is?"

"Oh, come on, Naomi," The ghost of a smile played about her lips, "You're smart. If I tell the truth, we both get what we deserve - I deserve punishment, and Marie deserves a decent childhood. If I lie, we get what we don't deserve - I don't deserve freedom at the expense of a _baby_, and Marie doesn't deserve to be raised by _that_ white trash. But the main thing is, whatever happens to me, happens to Sandy. She needs punishment. I'll take it too."

"And _because_ you'll tell the truth and take the punishment you deserve, and allow a baby the chance at a life she deserves, then _you_ deserve freedom."

"Naomi, if I didn't get in for this, the drugs would have eventually gotten me in for something else. I'm glad I could save someone else's life along the way."

"I'm really sorry, Star," I murmured, shaking my head.

"Stephanie."

"What?"

"Stephanie is my real name. Not Star."

"Alright... Steph." I swallowed hard, seeing this girl in an entirely new light.

She wasn't absent-minded, drugged up, dreamy Star, spiking my drink, and always making the wrong choices... she was Stephanie, a strong, determined person, ready to face whatever juvenile custody sent her way, because she was facing it head on for a baby she hardly knew.

For the first time, I looked that this girl and really admired her.

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I was really nervous when I got Adam's reply. I almost didn't read it...

There wasn't much writing. I had to squint to make it out - he has really messy handwriting.

_Naomi, _it read,

_I'm glad you told me. I understand everything. I admire you for going through all that. Good luck coping with the aftermath of the LSD bummer. I get it that you can't make yourself love another person, I never expected that. I just want to be there for you, if you need me, alright? Good luck with Sodapop, and I mean that. Hopefully his eye's better soon..._

_Love, Adam._

Well... I had Adam's reply. Time to face the lion's den and do the scariest thing I'd ever done.

It was time to finally tell Sodapop how I felt, and my intentions.

**Well, I actually had fun writing this chapter. I feel like shite after putting my other story on hold, but it really had to be done. There'll be about two or three chapters left in this story. **

**Mucho Amor,**

**-J-**


	25. To Tie Loose Ends

I'm sorry. Really, I am. School started, and you know the drill...

Uh, this chapter is basically getting closure on Naomi's mom. I didn't want it to end with her as the 'villain' so I did this. Like, soap opera mode. Damn right.

So... this chapter took me a really long time to write. Obviously.

-- The last time I took advice from a friend on a story, I was seriously unhappy with the results and swore never to do it again. But... that was nearly a year ago, and a friend of mine, (A different one, thank God) has requested I use this method of getting closure on Naomi's mom. And it's called, '_Ripping Off Another Story' _and I've done it as blatantly as I could without doing it too blatantly. If you can guess it, I will... acknowledge your genius in the next chapter... and loff you forever for knowing it.

**

* * *

**

"Mom, I'm-" I was about to tell her I was going out, which I was, and I wouldn't have let her stop me, but something was amiss.

"Naomi."

"Mom?" I asked cautiously,"What's going on?"

"I need to tell you something."

I realized that she must have been waiting for me since I busted in the door with Adam's reply to my apology letter.

"Okay, Mom, but seriously... you're creeping me out."

"I'm sorry, Nay. Well, firstly, I'll tell you - your father and I have talked it over, and we've decided that, strong though your voice is, you're born a soprano, or an alto, or baritone, and you were born a soprano. It's physicality -"

"Yes, Mom," I interrupted, "I know that."

"Well, we've decided that you'd do better with a somewhat out of practice soprano range, then if you forced yourself into a mezzo-soprano."

"Oh... alright. I suppose that's safer."

"Right... darling, I know you're growing up, and making choices of your own. You probably think I'm utterly mad for pushing you into opera, because I've never been an opera singer, I couldn't possibly know the strain, correct?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Well, sweetie... I may not have been as good as you, but I _was_ a mezzo-soprano at an opera in Nevada. I've never really told you this, you see, because your father and I thought it best. Well, your father and I were dating for a year or two, on and off. We'd have alot of fights over things... we were young, honey, you understand that?"

"How old?"

"I was twenty, he was twenty three."

"Okay, older than me. Go on."

"Alright. Well, one of those things we fought over was another singer. He was the lead tenor - he was always teasing me, and we'd flirt around. But it was an opera company, that's the way things were in opera companies in the forties. Why he'd target me, the girl who was too shy to take more than one solo, I don't know."

"Go, Mom," I smirked, raising an eyebrow, "Get the attention of the lead tenor. Right on."

She laughed shortly.

"Your father didn't think so. He'd accuse me of cheating on him, and we'd fight it out. Eventually, this singer - Bryan, his name was - got arrested for punching a man in the street. Another guy from the company. Your father was sure that I'd never have feelings for a criminal, so he decided that Bryan's attentions were completely unwanted. He proposed to me, for two reasons - A, he loved me and wanted to marry me for all the proper reasons, and B, he figured Bryan wouldn't go after a married woman. He didn't tell me, however, that Bryan was sick, and didn't have long to live. I guess he wanted to divert my attention for just long enough... for Bryan to be gone."

"Wow. Drama," I commented, trying to sound light, but... seriously. No one is cool about hearing this stuff about their parents. Parents are the strong ones. They have no issues, and they always have the answers. They're our rocks, no matter how much we pretend we hate them.

"I loved your Dad too, honey, never think that I didn't. That I don't. I do, and I did. But Bryan... there was a pull around him, you know? Even if he was careless, reckless, dangerous, and ill."

"What did he look like?"

"He... he had curly blonde hair, and these eyes..."

Paranoia, who was my constant companion since the acid bummer, stepped in.

"Cool. So, keep telling the story."

"I heard through the grapevine that the reason Bryan punched this guy was that he insulted _me_. Bryan actually got arrested defending me. Well, I was flattered, but a little scared of him. I felt, though, that I owed him to tell him I was getting married face to face, and not just have him see the picture in the paper or something. When I told your father... well, needless to say he wasn't pleased."

* * *

_Hal Sterling looked up from his work to see his fiance coming in the door. She was the same as always - crystal blue eyes set in a thin, pretty face framed by whispy black hair. She had the same semi-confident stride... as though she were trying so hard to walk with purpose, but she was being held back. The one thing, however, was the purpose with which she regarded him._

_She leaned her tiny frame against the wall, looking at him coolly._

_"I'm going back," she said simply, "It's not fair. He deserves to know." _

_"Going back? What? Why?" Hal was on his feet, staring down his tiny girlfriend. _

_"For God's sake, Hal, he got jailed defending me! He's sick, he might not even be around in a few years! I told all my other friends I was getting married, I'm going to tell Bryan!"_

_"Julie, listen to yourself! It's not safe, he's... he's dangerous! He might not be mentally secure, we don't know!"_

_"You... you bastard! How could you say that? I've known him ever since I came here! I think my judgement is good enough!"_

_"Obviously not, otherwise I wouldn't have to be marrying you to protect you from him!"_

_A silence fell between the two of them, and Julie began to back towards the door, her little blue eyes filling with tears._

_"Alright, Hal," she whispered ferociously, "I guess I see where you're coming from. I'm going back to him anyway. But it's not just to tell him about the wedding. It's also to tell him about the Christmas opera we're putting on next week."_

_"Julie... Julie, we're not putting on a Christmas opera next week. For God's sakes, it's July!"_

_"Really? Then I guess _nothing's_ going on that I can tell him about."_

_For a few minutes, after watching the petite singer march away, Hal sat in a stunned silence._

_Oh Lord, he thought, miserably, She just broke off our engagement... _

_

* * *

_

"I broke off the engagement, and went back to Bryan. He was surprised to see me, I think, but he didn't waste any time. Someone had told him that Hal and I were engaged. I found him in his little flat beside the theatre, and the second I walked in the door, he was on his feet, and he said..."

She stopped, and looked up at me suddenly.

"Yeah?" I urged her on, sort of wondering where this was going, but more or less using it as an excuse to put off going to see Soda. What? I was nervous!

"... he just said, 'Julie, I love you,' and I started _crying_. It was heartbreaking, you know, how he said it. He was shaky, and coughing... I knew he was ill, but not _that_ ill."

"...Oh."

"I realize you don't like hearing this about your parents, but there's a point to it. Something I should have told you long ago... but with what you're facing with Sodapop and Star and Sandy and Marie, you need to remember this, alright?"

"Yeah, Mom. So... what happened?"

"Your father, bless him, almost let me go. He had it in his head that I loved Bryan, and almost gave up."

"Did you love Bryan?"

She ignored me and continued on, "He came after me a week later. Well, he went to the theatre, and they tried to hold him off as long as they could. I think they would have succeeded, too, if I hadn't called the theatre."

"Why'd you call?"

She looked away, pulling her bottom lip under her top teeth.

"Bryan... Bryan died. He had Myocarditis, but he never told me. It was so apparent in that last day with him that it wasn't going to be long at all...

"Your father came to get me, and I went with him easily. One of the prop managers at the theatre threatened to cut your father up if he left me, but he didn't have to worry.

* * *

_"Julie, are you alright?"_

_"Bryan's gone."_

_"I know, Julie, you told me already-"_

_"Hal, you asked if I was alright. Well, should I be?"_

_"I... I don't know. Are you?"_

_"Yeah... I am. I think he's okay now. I mean, he's dead, but... he's in a better place. He's not sick anymore... you could have told me he was sick when you found out, Hal... and he would have wanted me to go with you."_

_"Julie... honey... I think he would have wanted you to go with _him_." _

_"Well, yes, of course, but he knew he was dying, and so he'd want me to go with you, if you can forgive me. He knows that you'll take care of me, and that's what he wanted... he knew I needed it. Hal, I think I'll always need someone to take care of me... I'll never be quite strong enough to make it on my own."_

_"You need to go see your parents, Julie, they've been worried sick."_

_"Do you know, though," she said, her voice wavering, "For some reason, I can accept that he's gone to a better place, and that we aren't meant to see each other in this life... but it's the little things I can't believe are gone. Like his voice, I can't believe we'll never hear him sing again, or hear his sarcasm, or hold up a rehersal for him because he was late. I'll never get to laugh at him again because of his eyes..."_

_"Bloody eyes will haunt me for the rest of my life," Hal commented. _

_

* * *

_

"So," I joked, "Does Dad have dreams about Bryan's _eyes_ haunting him every night?"

"Yes," she replied calmly, "He does. Bryan's eyes are _everywhere_ for him."

"So... what happened?"

"I went to see Dad. Your Dad and I were married a few months later. When I said that I'd always need someone to care for me, I didn't realize how badly I did, because as soon as I was pregnant, I became really weak. I needed an operation, or the two of us would have died."

"Wow." I muttered.

"So, your father was beside himself at the thought of his six month old child being born already, since premature babies didn't always survive. The shock of his life came... when the doctor was talking to him."

"Yeah?"

"The doctor told him... I was _eight_ months pregnant."

"Okay, Mom, _please_ tell me that the whole point of this story _wasn't_ just to give me a talk about not sleeping around before I'm married!"

"Honey, that's not-"

"Okay, I'd rather _not_ know what you and Dad did in your spare time!"

"Or what we _didn't_ do!" She snapped.

"Oh God, Mom, too much informa- what?" The wheels in my head turned slowly... _How did I manage to come about unexpectedly... Oh, great, I'm an accident... but that's impossible. She was pregnant two months before they got married, but they never even did anything... two months before? What had she said? _"Your Dad and I were married a few months later." _A few months after... she was with Bryan... _My head snapped up.

"Oh my God, Mom!"

"Honey!"

"What the hell? How? You! Bryan! Dad! Holy... _Glory_, what the hell?"

"Think about what your father did!"

"I know what Dad did!" I snapped, "Mom, how can you tell a seventeen year old that! Maybe you could've brought me up knowing it, or you could have told me when I'm alot older! But now? I'm going to love Marie like my own child, I won't be... _haunted_ by Sandy's eyes!"

"Oh?"

"No, I won't! I'll never think of her!"

"What about when you look at Marie?"

I was silent. Marie had Sandy's eyes, that was for sure...

"It's been _me_? Bryan's eyes are haunting him... because of _me_?"

"Every dream he has, honey... you know what I said."

"Mom, I have to go. I'll see you later."

I bounded outside to clear my head from the frightening revelation, and to finally face up to what I'd been avoiding.

* * *

"Hey, is Soda home?" I asked, bouncing on the balls of my feet. 

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen," Pony said, "_Soda! Get out here!"_

I could've sworn something out of the ordinary was occuring in my stomach.

"Hey, Naomi," his eyes lit up as soon as he saw me standing at the door, and I felt my stomach fall a couple of stories...what I really wanted was to run home and hide under my bed.

"Hey, Soda. Could I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure." He stepped outside into the snow in his sock feet.

"I was thinking... well... I don't even know how to start this. I guess... my mom was telling me a story today. She was engaged to my Dad, but she sorta... had feelings for this other guy. She and Dad had a fight, and... well, I'll make the damn thing short. She had a bloody affair, and the guy died, and here I am." I spat the last part out more bitterly than I had intended, "The point is, she waited for Dad to forgive her before she could go on. I felt like I played Adam on, and I had to make sure he forgave me before I could move on in good conscience. Well... he's forgiven me."

"...And?"

"And so I'm moving on."

"To what?"

"To... hey, you're putting me on!"

He laughed, and nearly fell off of the railing where he was sitting.

"Okay, listen to me. In the hospital, I decided to see how far you'd go with your little game. Well, I'm done watching you play it because, frankly, it's getting boring for me."

"So... you're going to pack your bags and move to Idaho?" He asked, smirking and raising an eybrow.

"Yeah," I grinned, leaning my forehead against his, "And I'll be _damned_ if you're not coming in my suitcase."

"Sounds good to me," he commented, bringing his mouth down to meet mine.

And for once, I wasn't scared that someone would see us, because we were actually together.

_Finally_.


	26. Flipside

**It's advertising time! Okay, there's going to be a set of awards for Outsiders Fanfiction, and you can nominate any story by anyone in any genre to be one of the finals. Once you've nominated, the person in charge (She's not an author on here, so it's fair) is going to tally up the nominations, and post the stories that had the most. Then, everyone votes for the story they want to _win._ **

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**Nominations can be sent to **_j0a15nna10 _**at **_hotmail _**dot **_com _**or to myself here at Fanfiction. :-)

* * *

**

"Stop acting all nervous, you're making _me_ scared!" I hissed at Soda as we hurried towards the looming building. We were late for our meeting to discuss Marie's custody, and to top things off, it was freezing.

"Naomi, we're late for the one thing we've been planning for the past month!"

"Just calm down, alright?" I said soothingly, "It's okay. Star's already given her statement, and I mean, if they take her for anything -"

"-which they probably won't -"

"Hey, come on," I wrapped my cold hand around his, "They have every reason to believe that she's not a suitable parent, and we are."

"Even though you're only 17."

"Yeah... well, we'll leave that part out as long as we can. Come on, we have to be confident. Otherwise, we'll hardly look any more stable then Sandy will."

Soda frowned.

"I still don't like having to see her again."

"I know," I sighed, as I pulled the heavy door open, "I'm not that fond of her either..._especially_ knowing that she'll always be special to you in some way." I added severely. I was pulled back by a pair of hands on my shoulders, forcing me to bend my head backwards to see Soda's face.

"She'll be special to me because, when she was younger, she was a real nice girl."

"You still love her, in in some way."

"Only as a _friend_, who's already been gone for a long time, without warning."

I puffed air slowly out the side of my mouth, and Soda squeezed my shoulders again.

"And not like you. I _love_ you."

I smirked.

"You'd _better_."

He titled my chin farther backwards and went to kiss me, but I spun out of his grasp and tugged on his arm.

"Come on - we're late enough as it is!"

* * *

I stood frowning as I tried to comb out my hair. I'd finally grown it out long over the year, and it was now down to the middle of my back, but the thick, blonde corkscrew curls still wouldn't obey.

I was sure that I heard another comb tooth break, but ignored it as I reminisced about the proceedings that afternoon.

Star had made her statement first, swearing that Sandy was a frequent drug user - it had happened when I returned to Tulsa, by some strange stroke of misfortune. She might've turned to anything at all... and it turned out to be drugs. She confirmed that Sandy was committing adultry, and that she had planned my drugging, in the hopes that I _would_ have a bad trip.

"Obviously," Star had said, "She was hoping that if Naomi took a good trip, then she'd want to try it again, and then there would always be room for a bad one. If her LSD plan had fallen through, however, I'm sure she would've done something else to Naomi... maybe worse."

Star had also confirmed, with her head held high and a steeled expression on her face, that she had taken part in my drugging.

Next, Ashley spoke about my condition when they'd found me that night - they wanted someone to back up Star, because they knew of her drug history. Even though her head was clear, and she seemed like a completely smarter and older person, they couldn't, in good conscience, take her word for everything.

I had to show my medical records, detailing all the complications that had occured since then, including x-rays of my arms, and pictures of the scars left on my upper arms - there were no scars left on my lower arms from my frantic scratching, which I can only assume was because I had my arms crossed to protect myself from whatever it was that was scaring me at the time - therefore, I scratched my upper arms more. I think that the faint scratch lines on my face were visable enough, although the the doctor said to give them a few months.

Finally, Ponyboy told about how Sandy had been abusive to him. We all found it mildly amusing, because we knew that she'd never really hurt him, apart from that last time, which hadn't been altogether intentional. But the fact still stood that he'd been in her custody, and she'd physically abused him. Lots of kids were belted by their parents those days, but in a case such as this, it was just another strike against Sandy.

The lawyer told us then about how, although he wasn't Marie's biological father, he was still her legal father. All the paper work said so - and so that had made them on equal footing for custody at the beginning of the divorce, which would be final in two weeks.

I finally pulled the comb through the last tangled curl, forcing it to part into a neat ringlet.

"Perfect," I said, grinning, but it wasn't just my hair.

A complete flip around from a few months ago - _everything_ was going right.

* * *

**I** **thought I might explain something that I might not have made clear enough - the point of Naomi's mother's story, other than giving her some closure, was that this 'Bryan' fella is Naomi's biological father (But dead now) and is therefore sort of in parallel with Naomi raising Marie.**

**Naomi's father raised Naomi even though she was the biological child of his nemesis, and he knew it, and now Naomi's raising Sandy's child (Who is Naomi's nemesis) so it's sorta full circle. **


	27. Reminiscing

**Just a quick A/N to say that the story's really close to being over... I didn't get any review on the last chapter (Hint Hint :-P) so if the same happens here, then I'll assume that no one's reading it and just post the epilogue. **

**That being said, here's another chapter :-) **

**

* * *

**

I was nearly ready for my audition at the Grand Opera in Texas, but I still had a few places to smooth out. It had been constant work lately, making sure my upper register was practiced enough not to permanently damage it with some of the higher notes.

On March 4th, 1970, I was standing beside my mother on the piano, singing _'The Queen of the Night'_ from Mozart's _'The Magic Flute'_ when the front door flung open, causing myself to shriek and my mother to pound out a rather unpleasing chord on the piano.

Sodapop came flying into the room, and grabbed my hands, spinning me around once, laughing hysterically.

"It's all done, Naomi! They've finished everything!"

"They've what?" My mouth gaped open in shock.

"It's all over! I got the letter in the mail today - two letters! One said that me and Sandy are officially divorced, and the other said that we have custody of Marie!"

I squealed delightedly, throwing my arms around his neck.

"I'll just be in the kitchen," Mom said loudly, "If you decide you want to continue practicing later..."

We completely ignored her in our ecstacy, and she trudged away muttering, _"...bloody children..."_

Everything was going to be perfect. I knew it.

* * *

**July 1st, 1969**

So much had happened over the last few months. I'd gotten the part in Carmen, easily enough, and I guess I can now say that it was because my parents were both opera singers. I was okay with it now, I mean, finding out that I was the love child of some last minute fling my Mom had with her dying lover... I talked to my Dad about it, and what he said was extremely humbling, and I know I'll always think of it when I'm with Marie.

_"Naomi," he'd said, the ghost of a smile on his lips, "Bryan's been dead for seventeen years. I've been raising his child for seventeen years... and now, you're _my_ child. How could I raise you and stay mad at him? To hold a grudge for seventeen years?"_

_"I know, Dad..."_

_"Naomi... how well are they teaching you up at that school?"_

_"Not as well as LAPA... but pretty good, why?"_

_"How much do you know about Cuckoo birds?"_

_"Are you saying I'm crazy?"_

_He laughed, and slapped his knee. _

_"See, honey, that cynical little sense of sarcasm you have is straight from Bryan, and yet, it's one of the things I love best about you. No, I'm not saying you're crazy, I mean the real birds. They lay their eggs in other bird's nests, to be raised by other birds... and the other birds do it. And have you ever seen one? They're quite beautiful."_

_"Dad... they kill the nest hosts as soon as they're able."_

_"Well... you certainly ran us about as a child... no, no," he laughed as I looked at him indignantly, "Maybe not all the parallels were right. But remember... you shouldn't have a problem loving Marie like your own. I did it easily enough."_

Marie was a little over one, and the most adorable toddler I'd ever seen, but then, I was biased. Strangely enough, lots of people thought I was her biological mother, because we had the exact same hair, and our faces were even somewhat similar. If I didn't know them, I didn't correct them.

_Carmen _had just ended two weeks ago, three nights before I graduated from high school with honors. I had improved and learned alot in my experience at the Grand Opera, but now, I was ready to try something else. My records were selling alright, mostly people from my school who thought it was so cool that they sort of knew someone who had a record out. So I was to audition in New York in August for a part in the musical _'Hair'... _I was only seventeen, and I might be on Broadway.

While I sat under a tree in my front yard, thinking about everything that had happened in the past three years, I was amazed that I'd come out of it okay. The thought made me laugh, because, in a few years, the whole thing would seem extremely teenager.

"Goin' crazy?" a voice sounded behind me causing me to jump.

"Yeah, a bit," I said, as Soda sat down beside me, "Just thinking about everything. I can't wait to audition in New York..."

"You know... you can't go back and forth like you did in Texas. New York's a far way away..."

"I know..."

"I'm just thinking of Marie..."

"I wish you guys could come with me..." I sighed, leaning my head against his shoulder, "... hey... do you think you could?"

"I dunno... maybe. It'd be alot easier, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah. That's one thing we've never had, huh? Easy problem solving."

"Yeah... but it makes it all even more worth it at the end, if it's hard to solve."

"Things will be really great someday."

"Yeah. You know... I'm wondering if Broadway will be anything like the Grand Opera."

"Probably... they're both theatres."

"Come on, there's more than that! I mean, I think there will be..."

"Well, you can keep that to yourself. I've never liked theatres since grade three."

"Why? What happened?"

"We went on a field trip to a really old theatre, and the guide told us it was haunted. One of the stage guys cut down a sandbag, to scare us. It was all planned, but it scared the daylights out of me."

I laughed. "Well, you can sit outside the theatre."

"Maybe I will. Marie's gonna be a theatre person."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I know it."

"That's pretty good. Hey, do you know what?"

"What?"

"I finally decided that after I'm done with theatre, I want to teach kids music."

"You mean, like a school teacher?"

"No, private lessons."

"See? You can teach Marie."

"I talked to my Dad about Bryan. He said some pretty cool things... I'm okay with it all now."

"Good. It was really bugging you, wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you're good now... man, am I hungry."

I laughed, "Have you eaten at all today?"

"I tried, but Marie was pretty insistant that I feed her, so I only got a few bites."

"Well, you're going to have to start feeding yourself through a tube that you can push around."

"Naomi?"

"Hm?"

"I have an idea."

"About?"

"We can make a deal."

"Okay, about what?"

"Marie and I will come to New York if you'll marry me."

I stroked my chin thoughtfully.

"Hmm... I guess I could make that work. Shake?" I extended my hand. Soda raised an eyebrow.

"Can I get a kiss instead?"

I shrugged.

"Whatever works."


	28. Another Audition

**Seriously, I love you guys. Reviews own. **

**This chapter is just a bunch of little scenarios thrown together.**

**Also, I have to post a Happy Belated Birthday to Sodapop, who turned 17 for the thirty ninth time on October 8th :- )

* * *

**

The next two months were hectic, even more than usual. We were scrambling around, making plans for New York, and making plans for our wedding, and making plans for a nice little house we were going to live in - it was Darry's wedding gift to us, he said, getting us a crazy discount because he owned the building company. We hardly payed anything.

We'd set the date for December 4th - Soda claimed it was perfect, because it was exactly two years after he 'fell in love with me.' I remembered December 4th, 1967 perfectly... it was the day that I'd had to sing 'O Holy Night' in that church, and Soda and Pony came to watch. One of the most vivid memories of that day was that horribly garish dress I had to wear. Oh Lord...

It would be a few days after the production of _'Hair'_ was over, so whether I got in or not, I'd still be home for it. Not that I'd miss my own wedding...

"Mama," I heard a voice babble behind me, "When gone?"

"A few weeks, honey," I said absently, picking up Marie. Glory, she was getting big.

"Why?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. This was her favorite question. _Why_?

"Because Mama has to go sing in the big city."

"With me an' Dada?"

"Yes, honey, with you and Dada."

"Sing now?"

"Are you going to sing?"

She shook her curly blonde head, grinning toothily.

"Well, then, I don't think I can, either."

She sighed.

"Otay."

"Go find Daddy, okay? He probably wants to play."

Her eyes lit up, and she toddled in the door as quick as her chubby little legs would carry her. I had to laugh, because God knows Soda was probably trying to catch up on the sleep he claimed to have missed while he was up with Marie last night. Maybe I really lucked out in not living here...

* * *

"Okay, no." Emilie frowned, spinning me around, "No way. You look like a grandmother in that thing." 

I sighed. Every girl dreams about going to try on wedding dresses with her friends. But Emilie, Ashley, Daphne and Hannah are _not_ in any of those dreams.

"Better _that_ then look like a whore in one of those." Ashley snorted, nodding her head towards a slightly more revealing dress.

"Okay, listen guys, are there _none_ that suit?"

"You know," Hannah snorted, "If I ever get married, I'm not bringing you guys."

"But I can get you a nice discount," Ashley said, raising an eyebrow, "Otherwise I'm pretty sure that Naomi would've kicked me out by now."

"How about this one?" Emilie held up another dress.

"You know," I said, as I ran my hand over the intricate little designs on the bodice, "This is _really_ nice -"

"It's too long," Daphne sighed, shoving the dress away.

"No!" Hannah grabbed it back, "No one cares if it's a little long! We'll hem it! Get the damn dress, and let's get the hell out of this place!"

* * *

"Okay," I said, holding up a list, "Here's the VIP guests. What do you think?" 

"I don't like that guy," Soda frowned, pointing to a name. I raised an eyebrow.

"He was my friend since elementary school."

"He beat me up when I was seven!"

I laughed.

"Okay, then, if you're scared that he'll beat you up at your own wedding."

"Oh, fine," he snorted, "Invite him. Bring a _bully_ to the wedding..."

"How about Christy Simmins?"

"I don't think I know her."

"She was in your grade since forever."

"Just... invite them all, okay? If we see someone we don't like, we'll pretend we don't see them."

"Soda..." I stifled a laugh.

"Or we could have them thrown out. I bet we could get Two-Bit to walk around with a baseball bat, he'd do it for free-"

"Stop it, you're _not_ funny-"

"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm serious. _You're_ the one that's laughing."

"Okay," I continued, trying to keep a straight face, "So all these people are good-"

"And she doesn't even ask for my opinion!" Soda looked offended, and walked out of the room.

* * *

I flopped down onto the couch as soon as I got home. I'd recieved a call that morning from my old teacher, Shirley, asking if I'd be interested in teaching singing lessons for the day, because she had a sore throat. I figured that any practice was good practice, since I was auditioning in a week. 

Wow, can kids be annoying. They really don't want to be taught, rather just sit on the bench beside you and yell loudly. And, the more I think about it, the more I'm sure that I was like that as a little kid. I wish I could find all my teachers and apologize to them.

"Mama!"

I squeezed my eyes closed, and was slightly amused at my sudden impulse to use the age old excuse - _Not now, honey, Mommy's got a headache - _but since I didn't actually have a headache, I figured I'd avoid getting into the trend of lying to my daughter. Even though, A, I'd start eventually, and B, I was only seventeen, and _my_ Mom was still mothering _me_, technically.

"Yes, honey!"

"Where _you_?"

"Mama was teaching kids to sing, honey."

She pouted her perfect little mouth. Even at this age, I could tell she'd be very pretty when she was older. I guess it makes sense - much as I hate Sandy, the coniving little bitch that she is, she's _really_ pretty.

"I sing?"

"When you're older."

She placed her hands on her hips, a dramatic gesture that earned a laugh from me.

"I big."

"You're big, honey. Mama's tired, though, alright?"

She rolled her eyes and sighed. That's another thing she got from Sandy - a taste for the dramatic. It's a lot like Dad said - I'm finding it harder and harder to stay mad at Sandy, when I'm raising her child. I'm hating her less and less.

If given the chance, though...

I'd still smack her.

* * *

"Is this your daughter?" Tammy Pearson asked me, clasping her hands together, and making quite a face. Her mouth was open, and her eyes wide. It was one of those times where you have to answer right at the perfect interval, otherwise, the person will either fall over or be stuck in a really awkward facial expression. I chose to wait. But her face was really creeping me out, so I answered. 

"Yes, this is Marie. She's fourteen months old now." I grinned happily, which I'd been doing all night. We were leaving for New York in two days, and my old friend from school was getting married, and invited us to the wedding. I'd always laughed at those people who were getting married just out of high school - and there were some every year - and now I was one, and probably had a few juniors laughing at me. I found I didn't particularily care.

"Oh, she's adorable..." Tammy said, "Who's her father?"

"Over there," I pointed in Soda's direction, where some girl with fake blonde hair was flirting with him. I didn't really care, for three reasons. One, he kept catching my eye and winking. Two, She wasn't that pretty, or smart, from the looks of it. Three, Marie was finally my legal daughter - the courts would never let him terminate that after all the trouble we went through to get it that way.

"You're not worried about that girl?"

"Not at all."

"I see," she looked awkward, then asked tentatively, "Are you two married?"

"Engaged." I answered evenly.

"Shame to have to rush things, though, because of a child?"

I sighed.

"It's not just because of Marie. She was my daughter for six months before we got engaged."

"_Your_ daughter -"

I sighed again.

"She's the daughter of one of my fiance's old _girlfriends_, and some guy... when they broke up, we took the case to court to make sure that Marie here didn't go into a bad home."

"That's sweet," she said, pressing her hand to her heart, "It's so sad when teenage girls get pregnant, and have to leave school. Remember Gillian Cole?"

"Yeah," I said slowly, "I think I was just a freshman when she left."

"And Stephanie Harker? Oh, that was a damn shame, she was so smart."

"I never knew her."

"What about Sandy Crawford? Now, _that_ was a shame. Such a sweet girl."

"Never had the opprotunity to meet her," I said, slowly, "But I bet she was nice."

"Moved to Florida with her Grammy. She was back, I heard, a while ago. Coupla months, but she was changed."

I nodded. I'd always really wondered what Sandy had been like before I knew her. I'd only ever heard mention of her maiden name once, otherwise, I'd never think it was her... sweet girl? Wow.

I looked at Marie, grinning happily in my arms.

Yeah, I decided, I bet she _was_ real sweet.

* * *

"That was terrible," Soda said loudly, causing several people to look our way.

"Soda, honey, you're talking _really loud_."

"Well, I can't hear myself!"

We'd just arrived in New York. Soda, who had never flown before, had found that his ears had plugged upon ascending, and hadn't changed. I had flown several times, and I was used to the unusual pain in my ears, however, I'd never spoken so loudly in an international airport.

"So, where do we get our luggage?"

"Sodapop, plug your nose," I instructed, "Now, blow out it really hard."

If it didn't help his ears, it certainly kept him quite and occupied until we found our suitcases.

* * *

"Naomi Sterling?" The smug looking man asked as I walked onto the stage.

"Yes," I replied calmly, keeping my head high, and remembering everything I'd worked on my entire life.

"And you're auditioning for..."

"Sheila," I replied, not loosing the fake air of confidence I was putting up... really, I was nervous as hell.

"So, you've already done acting for us?"

"Yes, I was with Heather."

"Ah, yes, Heather auditioned a group of actors, didn't she?" He muttered, "Alright. I must ask you first, Miss Sterling, do you consider yourself a better singer, or a better actress?"

"A better singer, definately."

"So, you'll be singing your heart out now?"

I grinned at my shoes, then looked up at him.

"It's what I've been doing my whole life. No point in stopping now."


	29. Realizations

**Know what one of the best parts of Halloween is? The special showings of 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' on TV. **

**Sorry I didn't update sooner. Meant to, but didn't. Sorry.**

**Big crazy happiness for SodaNDallysgrl410 who was the 100th reviewer - 100 reviews being the big thing I've been going for ever since I started on this site more than a year ago. w00t w00t.**

**Three chapters left, including this one. :-( **

**_Side Note -While Naomi is talking to Mr. Whitby durring this chapter, they have a debate about something (Which I quite love). Naomi's last thoughts on the matter are a slight joke that I put in that will probably make sense to anyone who is musical-savvy._**

* * *

_How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?  
Trying hard not to smile, though I feel bad,  
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral,  
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will-  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve,  
I have a history of losing my shirt,__  
_

_It's been one week since you looked at me,  
Threw your arms in the air, and said, 'You're crazy,'  
Five days since you tackled me, I still got the rugburns on both my knees,  
It's been three days since the afternoon,  
You realized it's not my fault, not a moment too soon,  
Yesterday you'd forgiven me,  
And now I'll sit back and wait 'till you say you're sorry. _

-_'One Week'_ by the Barenaked Ladies

I breathed slowly as I extended my leg and failed to hold it out for the length of time I'd been trying for. While I'd performed in Texas, I'd been given as extensive a crash course as was possible in ballet. I hardly considered myself _good_, but I found that I quite liked the dance. In any case, it was helping me keep my frustration down to a minimum at the time. I'd had quite a fight with Sodapop that afternoon, and had chosen not to return back to our hotel yet.

_"Naomi," Soda said tentatively, "Mrs. Crawford just called-"_

_"**Who**?" I asked, frowning as I attempted to brush Marie's hair. I would have expected to be better at it, having hair as curly as my own, but it becomes difficult when the owner of the hair is screaming._

_"Brenda Crawford," he said, "Sandy's mother."_

_I snorted lightly, "And what does the world's greatest mother have to say?"_

_"She... she wanted to know if... well, you know how we're going to be moving around alot?"_

_"Uh... yeah, I guess so..."_

_"She wanted to ask if she and her husband - Sandy's father - could take in Marie for a bit?"_

I spun into a pirouette that was a little faster than I intended, tucking my arms in towards my chest and squeezing my eyes closed. I was surprised when I finished it properly. Gripping the barre, I pulled myself onto pointe - it was getting a little easier, considering how quickly I had been forced to learn.

"Naomi?"

I was startled out of my trance with the wall by the sudden voice of Miranda, the owner of the ballet studio.

"Oh, are you closing?"

"Soon. You can use the stage, if you want."

"The stage?"

"Yeah, in the main theatre? It's called a stage." She commented dryly, the corner of her lip twitching slightly.

"Oh, ha _ha_." I snapped, grinning, "Alright, I'll just go there."

Exiting through the main doors which led directly into the smaller Biltmore Theatre (I considered it large, but apparently it was not as big as several other Broadway theatres), I felt a little more confident. I'd spent half my life in theatres, and I felt at home.

Once I was on the stage, I pranced lightly about the front, on and off of pointe, allowing myself to remember how the argument had developed.

_"No," I said for the umpteenth time, "No, I will **not** allow those people to raise Marie! Look what happened to Sandy!"_

_"They raised two kids before her, and one's graduating next year, and those three are fine! They **know** what they're doing!"_

_"We didn't go through all those court procceedings just to give her back to them!"_

_"Naomi, it would only be for a little while - just long enough for us to be ready to take care of her-"_

_"No," I said, shaking my head, "No, no, _no_, she **can't** go back to them!"_

Once a battement landed me flat on my backside, I decided that I had danced myself out for now. Tugging my pointe shoes off, I massaged my sore feet, then, by an impromtu decision, I stood up and started to sing. I felt completely sick of any operas or musicals I knew, so I chose to sing an aria that had continually stumped me while I had been taking lessons.

_"Quando men vo soletta per la via,  
La gente sosta e mira  
E la bellezza mia tutta ricerca in me  
Da capo a pie'..."_

"La Boheme?" A voice commented from the doorway, "Puccini. A nice choice. Mind, you _were_ a bit sharp in places-"

"I know," I said quickly, recognizing the face of one of the men who had been seeing over auditions, "I wouldn't have sang it if I knew anyone was listening-"

"Something you should know about these theaters, Miss Sterling, is that someone is _always_ listening."

"I'm just tired," I admitted, "Of all this. Everything."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It's... I found out that the biological grandparents of my adoptive daughter want to take her in for a little while, and I can't seem to allow that, not when her mother - their daughter - went so wrong. I had a huge fight with my fiance, and Idon't even know why I auditioned for this part - just because there were auditions on Broadway and I have to make a start somehow, even though I just spent three months before my engagement performing in _Carmen_ in Texas."

I exhaled heavily, feeling an enormous weight off my back. The judge - Mr. Whitby - furrowed his brow.

"You don't _seem_ that old."

I smirked cynically. "I'm not. I'm seventeen."

"Seventeen? Performing in _Carmen_?"

"My parents were both opera singers." I decided to leave out the fact that I hadn't learned of this until recently, and that my biological father had died before I was born.

"Well, good job."

"Thanks."

"So, you don't really want to be here, auditioning?"

"I do... but I don't. I don't know... I want to be here, singing, acting, just _performing_ on Broadway, and Hair is really making a mark - it's all about hippies and love and all that stuff, I mean, anyone who gets cast will have a name in the business, if they play their cards right..."

"Now, you tell me," Mr. Whitby asked, looking at me over the rim of his glasses, his white brow furrowing, "If you could do anything, what would it be? Right now?"

"I want..." I sighed, and studied my hands, then looked back up at him. "I want to go home, and plan my wedding with my friends and my mom and dad just like a normal person. I never got to be a normal kid, because I was always studying music or something."

"So do it." He said, shrugging, "Go have your wedding. See your loved ones. You'll be on Broadway soon enough, I'm sure."

I nodded, getting up to walk away, an momentarily wincing at the pain in my feet.

"Also," he said, wincing as well, "You might want to work on your pirouettes. They need to be a little tighter and quicker."

"How long were you there?" I asked, frowing.

"Since long before you came in. Sometimes I just sit up in my box and stare at the theatre..."

"Are you serious? Or are you just kidding around?"

"I'm serious," he said, frowning, "This building has been my life. Sometimes I just sit up there, and watch the stage, imagining that there's a performance going on..."

"You're really going to scare someone sometime, if they see you before you see them."

"Maybe this theatre _needs_ a ghost... or at least a day dreaming old coot."

"Perhaps," I smiled, remembering Soda's story about being frightened as a child of a haunted theatre - and then remembering how angry I was with him.

"I tend to warn our pretty blonde singers away from the theatre ghosts," he commented, smiling as though sharing quite a joke. I looked at him blankly. He frowned.

"Have you never heard of the Phantom of the Opera?"

I still stared at him blankly.

"I... think... _maybe_ I did... once..."

He sighed exasperatedly. "No one around here appreciates a good read!"

I shrugged.

"I tend to pay more attention to music then to books."

"But," he protested as we walked towards the exit, "There's music in the book!"

I shrugged again, smirking slightly at his exasperation.

"Oh, I imagine it will be a great musical someday, and you'll come back to me, already married and starting to _wish_ you'd let your little one go to her grandparents so you could actually sleep at night, and you'll say, 'Mr. Whitby, won't you share what you know of this story?' and I'll be the one saying 'I told you so', and-"

"From your nice little box up there?" I asked, now grinning widely as he held open the door for me, "But no, I think it sounds more like it could be an opera. Not a musical."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, it's not believable that a story could possibly have such obvious allusions to opera, yet become a musical."

"I think, Miss Sterling, that _you_ are mistaken."

"No, I believe I am _not_," I challenged humorously, "Such a story should only ever become an opera."

"I believe that a musical would appeal to the general public more."

"Obviously, though, the story isn't currently appealing to the general public, as I don't know a single thing about it-"

"Miss Sterling," Mr. Whitby cut me off, "Allow me to say two things _without_ your interruption. One, yes, it will have to be a musical someday, and because of your indignant refusal, I believe I should like to start a bet with you - should the story become a musical, I will find you and have you audition. Should it become an opera, then_ I_ will audition. And two," he smiled, "This debate about a slightly obscure topic has proven to me that you have an accute knowledge about what works in the public eye, and the common sense of composers. You have a great career ahead of you, but first," he tipped his hat as he climed onto his old bicycle, "You need to take care of what's _really_ important."

As I walked back to the hotel, I thought over the bet that I'd made with Mr. Whitby.

"A _musical_," I thought, smirking slightly, "That would flop _right away_."

* * *

I was quite serene as I entered the hotel room, although I wasn't sure how long I could stay that way. 

"Naomi," Soda said slowly and calmly, "I know-"

"It's alright," I said, smirking slightly, "I'm not really hacked off _right now_."

"Well..." he didn't lose the tentative sound of his voice, "I told them... Marie's going to stay with them next week, until we get back. We'll talk about other stuff then."

My anger returned tenfold.

"You _told_ them! Without telling _me_!"

"I did tell you, but you stormed off!"

"You never actually told me that you were going to do it! You made it sound like I had a choice in the matter!"

"Naomi, it's just like she's going to a babysitter!"

"I'm leaving," I snapped, "And I don't know where the hell I'm going or when I'll get back."

I remembered my mother's account of how she'd stormed out on dad all those years ago, and how he hadn't followed her. I still didn't understand it, why he didn't, and I couldn't imagine it happening to me. But here it was.

I was halfway out the door, when Soda caught my arms and pulled me back in.

"Let _go_ of me," I snapped, elbowing him sharply, but he just held on tighter, pulling me back against him.

"Naomi, _listen to me_, you're under way too much right now," he said soothingly, as he might talk to an injured animal,"We're both still kids, when you think about everything, and it's hard for kids to raise a kid. Sandy made alot of things hard for us, and her parents want to _help_."

I stopped elbowing him, something that must have made him greatful, and exhaled deeply.

"I just want to go home," I muttered, "I don't care about this damn musical. I have lots of time to make a name for myself... let's just go _home_."

"Sounds just great to me."


	30. Opening Night

**Second last chapter. Actually, this is technically the last _real_ chapter, because the next one is an epilogue. But still... this is the second last. **

**This chapter is basically just the wedding.**

**And for once, I don't have anything else to say right here.

* * *

**

**December 4th, 1969**

I wrung my hands nervously, remembering the last time I was in this church. I was preparing to sing 'O Holy Night', worrying only over the fact that my dress had looked like something to be worn by a five year old, and that Soda was in the audience somewhere, and he might see me mess up a high note.

Well, now I was back, two years later, preparing to marry the same boy that I'd been fussing over. I was sixteen then. I was eighteen now. The most important events of my life had taken place in those two years, and I'd never forget them.

I had been reluctant to admit it, but Soda was right to allow Marie's grandparents to take care of her. For the first week or two, it had been hard. They'd called in a panic every night when Marie was lonely for us, which I really appreciated... the calling, not Marie's loneliness. Then she started to adjust... we'd see her almost every day, and sometimes she'd spend the night if I didn't have to work the next morning - I'd accepted a job at a local theatre, teaching little kids beginning vocal, while I took a break from my own singing career. I'd decided to start it up again the next February, but until then, I could rest for a few months.

Marie was perfectly adjusted to living with her grandparents, and I was starting to wonder how she'd take it when we took her back. However, it was a good time for Soda and I to adjust to being in close quarters with each other all the time without having to worry about Marie. She would be changing her name from 'Marie Curtis' to 'Marie Crawford Curtis' by my own request. I'd thought really long and hard about what Dad had said... and I couldn't be mad at Sandy anymore.

It was too hard to hold a grudge against someone and raise their child. Besides, I like to think that it was the drugs that made her the way she was. Maybe, in the future, I'll meet her... and I won't be mad. I'd swallow my pride, and apologize for bitter feelings. Maybe, if I'm right, she'll be off of the drugs, and she'll be sorry too. Maybe she could _see_ Marie sometimes... just for a little bit. And maybe... just maybe... she'd be happy for Soda and me. And I'd be happy for whatever she chose to do.

But I don't really know... that's just maybe.

I'd thought about how Dad compared me to a cuckoo... to the bird hatched in the nest not of it's real parents, but of a different bird. And that was what I was. And now, Marie was the same thing. We were the two illegitimate kids who were taken in by the foe of their biological parent... although, Marie would know of this when she was ready, hopefully before she's seventeen, though. It was weird to compare myself to a bird...

...and then I came across information about _starlings_. Another bird name from my father. Starlings will fight fiercely for a nest against other birds... I found that slightly ironic.

So, I was something of a starling cuckoo bird, standing there in a wedding dress, my stomach flipping around and around and around...

... until I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Naomi," my mother was whispering in my ear, "It's time, sweetie."

"Mom," I asked slowly, not caring that I may or may not be stalling the service, "How did _you_ feel on your wedding day? What were _you_ thinking?"

"I was..." she frowned, "Well, given the circumstances, I was wondering what would have happened, had Bryan survived, and hoping that your father understood and forgave me, and wondering if I was a bad person, to be doing what I was doing, and to have done what I did-"

"This isn't helping."

"-but then," she said, squeezing my shoulder, "I walked in there, and saw Hal waiting for me... he was always waiting for me, he'd always stay behind for me... and everything else disappeared. I missed Bryan for a little while over the next few months... but then I stopped."

"Why?"

"Because," she said, smiling, "I had you. And I see him whenever I look at you."

"What do you see, then, when you look at Dad?" As much as I was used to it, I couldn't get over the fact that my Mom had held love for someone other than Dad.

"I see my _husband_... and your _father_... whom I _love_," she stressed honestly, taking a huge weight off my shoulders, "Now go in there and get married."

I smirked slightly, going towards the adjoining room where I was being waited for. Dad stood waiting, and held out his arm. I turned to Mom, then back to Dad.

"Do you think," I asked them both, "That Bryan would be proud?"

"I _know_ he would," Dad said, "Almost as proud as _me_ right now."

"Let's get 'er hitched!" Hannah called, throwing her fist in the air.

"Ready?"

"No. Let's do this." I said, drawing a shaky breath.

First, the 'groomsmen' and 'bridesmaids' walked in pairs, but all I could see were my middle class well brought up friends looking slightly out of place beside Soda's slightly tougher friends.

Then, Mrs. Crawford took Marie up, who was the flower girl... well, our 'flower girl' completely upturned her basket immediately, leaving a rather large pile of flower petals on the floor infront of the doorway.

Last, Ashley entered as my maid of honour. It had been hard choosing between her and Hannah, but Hannah was just as content as a bridesmaid, and Ashley knew Sodapop a lot better than Hannah did.

I was probably visably shaky as my father escorted me down the aisle, my mother already haven taken her seat. The carpet between the pews seemed to stretch before me endlessly... suddenly, I was standing right in front of the altar. I felt a surge of panic run through me, and turned to Soda. He smiled encouragingly, and I calmed slightly. It's funny... I was almost expecting to look up and see a complete stranger. But I didn't. I saw my Sodapop. It was relieving.

The minister cleared his throat, ready to begin.

"Who gives this woman in marriage?" he asked my father, to which Dad replied, "Her mother... myself... and Bryan... all do."

I swear, I've never gotten goosebumps like that before.

"Dearly beloved," he continued as my father sat down, taking my mother's hand, "We are are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Sodapop Patrick Curtis and Naomi Alexandra Sterling in matrimony, which is commended to be honourable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

I found the ceremony going by quickly until the vows... our reading, and the minister basically talking about marriage.

"Naomi," he asked, turning to me, "do you take Sodapop to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do."

"Do you promise to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him, for so long as you both shall live?"

"I do."

"Sodapop, do you take Naomi to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do." It was becoming obvious that he could barely contain his excitement. He looked like a little boy a fairground.

"Do you promise to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, for so long as you both shall live?"

"I _sure_ do."

"Do you together promise in the presence of your friends and family that you will at all times and in all circumstances, conduct yourselves toward one another as becomes Husband and Wife?"

"We do." Soda smiled at me, and I finally found that I was able to return the gesture.

"Do you together promise you will love, cherish and respect one another throughout the years?"

"We do." We responded once again in unison.

For some reason or another, we'd decided to make our own vows as well... probably because we wanted to have the minister say some incase we screwed ours up, or we wanted some incase the minister screwed ours up.

"Naomi," Soda began, a huge grin plastered on his face, "You're the most talented, caring, amazing person I know, or ever knew. I loved you exactly two years ago today, when I first heard you really singing. I can't give you a whole lot, but I promise I'll love you forever, and I'll always support you no matter what you do, for as long as I live."

I felt really stupid right then, because I was sure that I'd start crying.

"Soda," I began, studying my hands, "You're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with... today, I take you to be my life partner, and I promise you that I will be worthy of your trust..." I was growing frustrated with myself, because I sounded like I was reciting lines out of a book. Soda's vows had been so heartfelt... why couldn't I get mine out?

I looked away from my hands, and into Soda's face, noticing the contained excitement. If he could, I thought wryly, he'd be bouncing off the walls.

"It took us too long to be together," I continued, "and I never want us to be apart again. We're like the missing halves of each other. I vow to love you, to laugh with you, and to cry with you, for richer for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live."

I felt a squeeze on my shoulder, and heard Ashley whispering in my ear, "Nice recovery."

Then we had a song, that my mother sang. It was the first time I'd heard her _really_ sing, and I was pleasantly surprised. She's good.

The ring ceremony went over pretty smoothly, except for one thing...

"This ring I give to you as a token of my love and devotion to you," I said, "I pledge to you all that I am and all that I will ever be as your wife. With this ring, I gladly marry you and join my life to yours." Then Soda took my ring, and said,

"I give this ring as my gift to you. Wear it and think of me and know that I love you." Taking my hand in his to put the ring on, I noticed that he was as shaky as I was. Suddenly, the tiny gold band had slipped out of sight...

"... uh oh." he muttered.

Once we had found the ring, the minister continued, his face slightly flushed.

"Now, let us bow our heads in prayer..._Our father, bless your children here before us, and keep them safe in their journey through life together. Give them love and happiness, and many good years together, that they may do your will. Thank you, gracious God, for this love, and may many more prosper from it, in Jesus' name we pray, Amen." _

Smiling at the two of us, he continued on with finality.

"By the power vested in me by the State of Oklahoma, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Soda lifted the veil off of my face (and thank God, because it was getting annoying... Mom had insisted I wear it) and pressed his lips to mine, ignoring Two-Bit's encouraging wolf-whistles.

"I present to you for the first time," the minister said, spreading his hands behind us, "Mr. and Mrs. Curtis."

Those who were there stood to applaud enthusiatically, and I felt Ashley and Hannah both hug me tightly from behind, not two seconds before a camera flash went off.

I have that picture with me to this very day.

* * *

"Anyway," Hannah said, continuing on with the long, slightly champagne-induced speech she was giving, "Let's have a toast for Sodapop and Naomi..."

"Enough for you," I muttered, poking her side. She winced slightly.

"Okay, I'll give a real speech now," Ashley announced, "Or at least, a _sober_ one..." the group laughed at that.

"Okay, so I've known these two about as long as they've known each other... and I don't think I know any two people more perfect for each other... or two people more determined to be together. Everything from sneaking into Naomi's big performance last year, to them two kissing in a crowded train station, I'm sure it all led up to this. Naomi always knows what she wants... she's born that way, so, basically, Soda didn't have a chance.

"I couldn't be happier to have the two of them together. Through it all, I know I've helped the cause, and I've slowed it down. But everything they went through made them stronger, and made them the couple that they are today... which is the definition of perfect. A toast to Naomi and Sodapop."

"To Naomi and Sodapop," the rest of the group eachoed, raising their glasses. Then Hannah decided to start a chant.

"Speech! Speech! Speech!"

Ashley frowned. "I just gave one, you drunk sonofa-"

"No, Naomi!"

I rolled my eyes, deciding to appease her rather than argue.

"Well," I said, shrugging, "What can I say that hasn't already been said? It's been one hell of a journey. But yeah, if I had to, I'd definately do it all over again just to be here right now. It's unexplainable... the feeling of knowing that you've found the one person that you're willing to share your life with... share _everyting_ with. It's just like your opening night at a huge opera, or musical, or rock concert... whatever style I music I choose to be fickle about next." This earned some smiles, because everyone there knew me and knew how often I switched my musical goal, "But it's better. It's so much better... it's like one big, huge, opening night." I smiled, and raised my glass. "To opening nights."

_"To opening nights!" _


	31. Epilogue

So this brings me to 2006. Of all the things that have happened in my life, these two years - which I have carefully told you of - are the most precious. However, that doesn't mean I don't value the years following...

Until Frebruary, Sodapop and I had our rest time, knowing that I was going into my career with a new frame of mind... one that would probably make life quite hectic. And it did.

I later found out that one of the girls whom I auditioned with for _Hair_ is famous now - Diane Keaton. She was in a movie not two years after I met her... I still don't know what would have happened if I had stayed through the auditions, but I never regret my choice to leave.

I finally chose my main focus - musicals. I kept up with my opera, and refused to let my voice get out of training... _again_. For the first two years - 1970 to 1972 - I bounced around as an understudy here and there for various productions : _The Me Nobody Knows, Godspell_, and _The Two Gentlemen of Verona_, just to name a few.

My big break came in 1973, when I got a part in the musical _Grease_. Sodapop and I both found the irony of the situation to be pretty funny.

I stayed with that one for two years, until I was twenty four. I had a few other offers for contracts in other shows, and it became apparent to Soda and I that we weren't settling down to a quiet, peaceful life any time soon... and Marie had already started school. It was a hard choice to make, but we ended up giving her grandparents full custody of her. She'd still live with us for the weeks that we were home, but for the most part, we didn't see her alot.

I had just started a part in _Gypsy_ when I had the shock of my life - I found out that I was pregnant. My director wasn't a particularily understanding guy, and growled at me for getting myself knocked up. He didn't even apologize when I told him I was married, and I walked out on the part then and there, and left him to find another lead. He did - a girl named Angela Lansbury, who was twenty six years older than me, and would go on to achieve a Tony Award for the performance.

Well, I was out for the count then. We returned home to Tulsa, and Marie came to live with us until we left again. I think that show business is one of those rare businesses where you can't wait to get back into it once you're off of maternity leave, whereas other jobs might have pregnant women thanking their lucky stars that they're sitting at home, big as a house and sick as a dog, rather than at their desk all day. Not me.

We had a girl - a sister for Marie. She went on to grow the notorious curly hair that runs in my family, and that Marie coincidently has as well. People will always know these two are related, regardless that they won't know it's not by blood. However, our new daughter, Christine, had darker hair - almost black, a quality that I'm sure comes straight from my mother. Or Soda's father, so he claims. And she has the most interesting eyes - a complete mixture of mine and Soda's. They're mostly brown, but there's visably golden streaks and specks.

Marie was getting really pretty as well, with her curly blonde hair and dark blue eyes. She was seven when her sister was born, and Soda said that she was showing some of Sandy's more admirable qualities (Apparently she used to have some) which included an aura that drew people to her, making adults fuss over her and other kids want to play with her all the time.

And there I go, talking about my kids again. I'd do it all day if I could.

In 1977, we returned to New York with both Marie and Christine. We weren't originally going to bring Marie, instead allowing her to go to public school, but she insisted she come with us. It was easier to leave the first time, because she was younger, and used to living with her grandparents, but the second time, she'd just spent eight straight months with us, and we couldn't easily part with her again.

It was a big choice, but we sold our little house in Tulsa, and permanently moved to New York City. Marie attended a school there - it was private, prestigous, and a little stuck up, but Marie got along fine. Like I said, she draws people to her. Everyone liked her, and she liked everyone's attentions.

I was an understudy in the musical _Shenandoah_ for the next little while, but eventually secured a role in a new Webber musical called _Evita_, where I comfortably stayed for a while. Sodapop got a job just out of the city, teaching kids to ride horses, and we got news from Tulsa that Ponyboy had gotten enagaged to his girlfriend of two years, whom we hadn't met yet. Her name was Charlotte, they told us, but upon returning home for a week for the wedding, I was shocked to see that it was my old friend Charlotte that I'd roomed with in London, at LAPA. She'd been equally surprised to see me.

Once we were back in New York, Sodapop had been staying at work one day, helping clean up the stables for a low-scale rodeo in two days, when one of the saddle-bronc riders fell off his horse. Soda later told me that the guy's technique had been so bad that it was a wonder he didn't fall off sooner. One of the other workers told the managers that Soda used to ride saddle-bronc, and they _'made'_ him take the guy's place. Personally, I don't think that there was half as much argument as he insists there was.

In any case, he continued to ride in rodeos after that, as he'd seemingly rekindled his love for them. I got a part in _The Fiddler on the Roof_, and then took a break. Things quieted down for a bit, and I cut myself off from Broadway, and all theatre in general, lest I be tempted to return. This went on until 1987. I was thirty six, Soda was thirty seven, Marie was nineteen and off at college, and Christine was eleven.

I remember thinking that I was ready to retire from performing and teach, as I'd done for a short time before and after my wedding, on that day when I went out to get my mail. There were only two letters, one from Ashley in Tulsa (her father had passed on from cancer) and the other from my long forgotten old friend - Mr. Whitby.

As soon as I saw his name, I remembered our bet - that if _The Phantom of the Opera_ was made into an opera, he would audition, but if it were made into a musical, I would.

Well... I had heard talk of it being a smaller-scale musical by Ken Hill in Britain somewhere, and Mr. Whitby would never have sent me overseas to fufill a bet. I reckoned I was safe.

But, try as I did, I couldn't think if it was a large musical - I hadn't allowed myself to hear anything about musicals in the last few years, so I didn't know. The letter went as such.

_To Mrs. Naomi Sterling-Curtis,_

_Congratulations on the wedding and child many, many years late. I've been traveling abroad, but that didn't stop me from hearing about your success on Broadway - and of your momentary retirement. _

_I've written to remind you of an old agreement we had many years ago, and to gloat over the words I'm about to say - __I win. _

_The Phantom of the Opera is now a musical, debuting on Broadway in two weeks. Or one, depending on when you get my letter. The current leads from London are continuing their roles in New York (Leaving London to the mercy of others, I daresay) but I'll find you as soon as there's an opening._

_Your friend and antagonist,  
Mr. Percival Whitby _

And find me he did.

I suppose I owe it to Mr. Whitby now, because it was, without a doubt, the best on-stage experience of my life.

I was a little bit older than the girl whom I replaced, but such a thing isn't noticable when you're onstage under lights with a wig and several pounds of makeup. I continued with this role on and off until 1995, when I left of my own choice. I currently hold the record, I believe, for the oldest woman to play that particular part. Auditions discreetly began again. I was being replaced by an unknown, they told me, and there was something about the way they said this that made me wonder.

On October 11, 1995, my forty fourth birthday, I was brought in to watch the performance of the newest lead in _The Phantom of the Opera_ in the beautiful Majestic Theatre. I wasn't even allowed to have a program to see who had replaced me, which had me quite indignant in the time before the girl came out.

Once I saw her, however, all bitterness dissapeared. I was frozen, staring blankly at the stage. Sodapop squeezed my shoulder, and finally handed me a program. Christine, who was now ninteen and studying music here in New York, was laughing at my shock.

I flipped open the page to where the cast list was, just for the rush of pride when I saw her name, second on the cast list.

_Marie Crawford Sterling Curtis _

Three last names, from her mother, her father, and those who raised her in her early years.

My little girl - whom I fought so hard to keep - was onstage now, singing alongside David Gaines and Brad Little... I had never been so proud in my life.

Christine followed in my footsteps as well, and is currently holding down a spot in the musical _RENT... _however, she want to be the third in the family to lead in the_ Phantom of the Opera._

These days, Naomi Sterling-Curtis is a name that lots of people around here know. Sodapop came across his fair share of fame in the rodeos, but now we're retired and teaching our arts to children again.

My mother passed away in 1997, and my father the following year. I remember at my mother's funeral, clutching my father's hand desperately... I was sixteen years old again, and he was my daddy. He told me to look at her - she was at peace. She looked young again.

"She's gone to be with Bryan," he whispered, "Naomi... would you sing her a requiem?"

I smiled slightly, and wiped my eyes. We approached her casket together, everyone else having yet to arrive.

"What should you sing?"

"Something from _Faust_," I said decidedly, "It was her favorite opera. Those years when I was a teenager that we didn't get on so well - it was after I sang _Faust_ that she began to forgive me."

I exhaled deeply, and looked upon the still face of my mother. Yes... she had gone to be with Bryan. All her life, she'd loved my father. She'd loved him as any wife would love a husband... but she was meant to be with Bryan. It's hard to think that your mother ever belonged with someone other than your father, but I knew it now. Mom and Bryan were meant for each other... but Bryan died, and mom wasn't capable of coping with things alone. And Dad was content to be her leaning post, to be there for a ghost that was long since gone.

She was at peace, finally.

I cleared my throat and began to sing...

_"Anges purs, anges radieux  
Portez mon âme au sein hes cieux!  
Dieu juste, à toi je m'abandone!  
Dieu bon, je suis à toi, pardonne!  
Anges purs, anges radieux,  
Portez mon âme au sein des cieux!…"_

I let the notes trail off.

_Holy Angel in Heaven blessed... my spirit longs with thee to rest... _

My father died the next year.

I'm thinking about everyone that has helped me in my life, and how greatful I am for them.

Thank you, Sodapop. Thank you, Marie and Christine. And for Marie, thank you, Sandy. Thank you, Adam, for understanding, and Jon, for doing the same, and being there later.

Thank you, Ashley, and Hannah, Daphne, and Emilie.

Thank you, Shirley, for giving me back my music, and thank you, Ponyboy, and Two-Bit, and Darry.

Thank you, Grampy.

Thank you, Charlotte and Joanne, thank you, Star, thank you, Mom, and Dad. Thank you, Mr. Whitby.

And Thank _you_, Bryan.

_I'm nothing special, in fact I'm a bit of a bore  
If I tell a joke, you've probably heard it before  
But I have a talent, a wonderful thing  
'cause everyone listens when I start to sing  
I'm so grateful and proud  
All I want is to sing it out loud _

So I say  
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing  
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing  
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty  
What would life be?  
Without a song or a dance, what are we?  
So I say thank you for the music  
For giving it to me

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk  
She says I began to sing long before I could talk  
And I've often wondered, how did it all start?  
Who found out that nothing can capture a heart  
Like a melody can?  
Well, whoever it was, I'm a fan

So I say  
Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing  
Thanks for all the joy they're bringing  
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty  
What would life be?  
Without a song or a dance, what are we?  
So I say thank you for the music  
For giving it to me

I've been so lucky, I am the girl with golden hair  
I wanna sing it out to everybody  
What a joy, what a life, what a chance!

* * *

But most of all, thank you _Steve_...

... for dropping the book.

* * *

**A/N::Tears:: ****All done. No more... **

**A few things to be said, firstly.  
Diane Keaton, Angela Lansbury, David Gaines, and Brad Little were all mentioned in this chapter, all exist, and all played in the said roles. **

**I depicted Naomi to have been in _The_ _Phantom of the Opera_ between 1989 and 1995, but the real women who would have been playing the part (and their alternatives) are as follows: **

**Patti Cohenour, Dale Kristien, Rebecca Luker, Katherine Buffaloe, Karen Culliver, LuAnn Aronson, Tracy Shayne, and Laurie Gayle Stephenson. **

**During Marie's run, it would have been Tracy Shayne, Laurie Gayle Stephenson, Teri Bibb, Adrienne McEwen, Sandra Joseph, Sarah Pfisterer, and Lisa Vroman. **

**Alrighty, then. I'd also like to say that I ripped off the book _'Phantom'_ by Susan Kay in a few ways that you wouldn't catch if you hadn't read it and that you couldn't miss if you _did_ read it. **

**Big props to all you reviewers for being frickin' awesome, I seriously read each and every review twice. I've been putting off saying this, sorta because I'm in denial, but I'm retiring from writing Outsiders fics. I'm moving on to another fandom, but leaving the Outsiders fics will be like leaving my comfort zone. **

**So, anyhoo, best of luck in all your future writing! It's been cool! I'll miss y'all. **

**Much Peace, Love, & Outsiders all around,**

**-J-**


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